getting children to help for pesach

e1234

Thu, Apr 07 2011, 8:28 am

I have a 10 year old boy and 8 year old girl

I would think they could be capable of helping me clean for pesach but they don't want any jobs

I tried different types of jobs and they don't want to do any.
I don't think forcing is good as the job won't be done right

any ways to get them to help?? I desperately need help and chaval that my daughter is so bored but won't help me at all.

Liba

Thu, Apr 07 2011, 8:31 am

We could trade children. My kids help better in someone else's house than my own.

I have a 10 year old daughter as well. LOL

My SIL used to trade kids with her local SIL because everyone was happier at the end of the day that way. It worked.

Maybe you have a close neighbor or someone who knows your kids who you could trade with?

shalhevet

Thu, Apr 07 2011, 8:47 am

1. Give an incentive (points for each hour helping leading to a prize) aka bribes.

2. Give a choice of activities - the more special-Pesach ones are usually more attractive, also the ones perceived as more "grown up". If you try to get them to look after the baby/ wash up/ fold the laundry they will probably not be interested, but cleaning out cupboards, scrubbing toys with lots of water etc are more popular.

mummiedearest

Thu, Apr 07 2011, 9:01 am

make things fun. my 4 yr old and 3 yr old love helping me clean for pesach. I've had them help since early toddlerhood. they help me clear off shelves and wipe them down with babywipes while I tackle something else nearby.

my mother used to set us up with all the silver in the week before pesach. (mostly silver-plated silverware, but it needed lots of polishing.) we set up the family video camera and had our own show while polishing silver at the table. we also had shows when we lined the kitchen. those were the days. we had fun, and we can still watch them.
your kids are more than old enough to help. if you don't want to force them, give them incentives. take them somewhere special for breakfast erev pesach as a reward. we used to go to dunkin donuts every year and have a donut and hot chocolate. when we were old enough, our parents let us go by ourselves. who doesn't love donuts?

do your kids have chores on a regular basis? do they clean their rooms, fold/put away laundry?

e1234

Thu, Apr 07 2011, 9:04 am

how to make them fun?
I offered dd today to either polish silver or spray and scrub different things that I thought she would want but she wasn't interested in anything

she doesn't want my prizes - they are not big enough for her (attitude issues here)

I think the problem is how I trained them....

Liba

Thu, Apr 07 2011, 9:07 am

My kids have a ton of fun washing toys. Once they have sorted them and put the ones away that are going away for pesach they get to bath with their selection.

It is one of their favorite things to do.

It think it does wonders for getting us through the rest of our Pesach cleaning.

For what ever reason my kids have been loving the sfog hapelah too. They volunteered to wash the walls in our stairwell with them motzei shabbos and all three of my girls worked together with their negel vassers of water and sfog and did a pretty good job.

mummiedearest

Thu, Apr 07 2011, 9:22 am

e1234 wrote:

at some point I think training is an issue. I'm not one to put up with attitude (my kids act like teenagers sometimes, lol) and I think you have a very simple (theoretically, anyway) solution.

she doesn't want incentive, fine. she still has to help. explain to her firmly that it is her obligation to help regardless of incentive. so she will have chores to do, and she will do them or else. she can choose to accept your incentive system, in which case she gets a "small" prize for helping, or she can choose to ignore the incentive and have to do her chores anyway. whichever way she chooses, she gets punished if she doesn't do the chores given.

outline for her what you consider privileges, and what are rights. it's a privilege to go on a class trip, stay up an extra x minutes after bedtime, play a half hour before starting homework, etc. make up a good list. explain that we have to earn privileges, and that means being a productive member of the family. it's her choice to help or not, but she should think about missing the next class trip before refusing to work.

rights include meals, clothing, shelter, and parental love. picking what to eat for dinner, what clothing to buy, how to decorate a room, etc. are privileges.

saw50st8

Thu, Apr 07 2011, 9:25 am

What works when I want my 3 year old to do sometihng is to explain that if we want to do XYZ (insert fun item here like going to the park) we have to finish not so fun item ABC (like cleaning for Pesach). If he helps, it will go faster and we can do XYZ. If not, well ABC aint happening.

Works like a charm AND we get to do something fun.