Just broke fast- feeling guilty

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amother

Mon, Sep 25 2006, 12:10 pm

I just broke my fast. I feel so guilty but I know if I fasted the whole day I wouldn't have any energy for the kids by the time I finish work, plus I have lots of grocery shopping to do & I would never be able to do it while fasting (it's hard enough shopping with the kids, but fasting too?!)

I feel so guilty, though

shalhevet

Mon, Sep 25 2006, 12:16 pm

So why did you break it?

I don't think those are halachic reasons for breaking a fast. I'm sorry to be unsympathetic but you shouldn't have broken your fast and, yes, you should feel guilty. I also think that you can't continue eating even though you broke it. (Assuming of course that there aren't other circumstances which would have allowed you not to fast.)

momofgirls

Mon, Sep 25 2006, 12:19 pm

I'm not fasting either. If somone doesn't feel they can fast, women in particular they don't need to, why you bashing her.

de_goldy

Mon, Sep 25 2006, 12:20 pm

NEWSFLASH: Most people dont feel particularly wonderful when they fast! Maybe no one should fast then?

shalhevet

Mon, Sep 25 2006, 12:22 pm

momofgirls wrote:

I'm not fasting either. If somone doesn't feel they can fast, women in particular they don't need to, why you bashing her.

Did a rav tell you that?
What is the difference between a non-pregnant, non-nursing woman and a man regarding fasting? People don't feel they can fast and don't? shock

momofgirls

Mon, Sep 25 2006, 12:26 pm

As a girl I always fasted Once I started working I only fasted on yom kippur & tisa b'av. I guess it is a matter of how you are bought up my father never made us fast.

mimsy7420

Mon, Sep 25 2006, 12:28 pm

I think in some chassidishe circles the women only fast TishaBav and Yom Kippur.

mumsy23

Mon, Sep 25 2006, 12:29 pm

There is such an inyan that a woman with small children doesn't have to fast accept y'k and t'b. so you don't have to automatically start bashing people if you don't konw all the facts.

chocolate moose

Mon, Sep 25 2006, 12:30 pm

My husband takes off from work all the fast days, so he can rest and therefore fast properly.

However - the rov told us that it's different for a girl and women - the inyan of the fast is not to lay around and moan. If you have to do that, then you should not fast.

I think we should not bash her, but we should be mechazek her!

momofgirls

Mon, Sep 25 2006, 12:30 pm

I don't think it has to do with chassidish or not. I think some are more makpid then others. everyone should go according to there rabbi or rav. You can't make someone feel guilty obviously if she broke her fast then she felt the need to.

de_goldy

Mon, Sep 25 2006, 12:31 pm

Really now. Does it say that in Shulchan Aruch?

mimsy7420

Mon, Sep 25 2006, 12:33 pm

de_goldy wrote:

Really now. Does it say that in Shulchan Aruch?

It does say to go according to your Rav and Rabbi, yes.

shanie5

Mon, Sep 25 2006, 12:35 pm

once a fast is broken (other than tisha b'av and yom kippur), I dont think you can go back to fasting.
as for breaking it, when I realize that I am getting frustrated with my children, and get angry at them quickly, I break my fast. It's not fair to them. wether or not you can break your fast goes according to your minhag-or ask a rov if your not sure-but DONT BASH OTHERS-what are we fasting for if that is what we are going to do????????????????????????

momofgirls

Mon, Sep 25 2006, 12:36 pm

another point if we wil be yelling at everyone, I think the whole point of fastine is defeated.

cindy324

Mon, Sep 25 2006, 12:38 pm

mummyof6 if you're fasting good for you! Women do not have to fast today, so just because you're doing it does not mean you have to make her feel like 2 cents just because she broke her fast, if anything she should be commended for at least trying.

Quote:

Did a rav tell you that?
What is the difference between a non-pregnant, non-nursing woman and a man regarding fasting? People don't feel they can fast and don't?

Absolutely nothing on Yom Kippur and Tisha B'av. Today, there is. women are not required to fast. What does a rav have to do with this?? Since when do you have to ask a rav whether you have to fast on Tzom Gedalyia??

And since when does halacha say that women can't break their fast on Tzom Gedalyia or even that they HAVE to fast.

timeout

Mon, Sep 25 2006, 12:54 pm

Cindy you read my mind.

By the way my FIL is a Rav and he said even though I am not nursing or pregnant I do not have to fast if I want to is another story.

Hashem_Yaazor

Mon, Sep 25 2006, 1:31 pm

shanie5 wrote:

once a fast is broken (other than tisha b'av and yom kippur), I dont think you can go back to fasting.

I think it depends why it was broken. If it was broken with the intent to eat to be mechazek the body, then I think you're right -- and your fast is over (this might be true for TB as well, BTW, but definitely not YK). But if one ate accidentally, e.g., she forgot it was a tzom, then no, she cannot eat more. I don't know the halacha if someone breaks a fast purposely when she wasn't supposed to (not talking about the OP here...not my realm to decide if she should have. I am no rav -- just in general).

amother

Mon, Sep 25 2006, 1:35 pm

Since im not a rabbi , and unless im mistaken none here is either, I wont paskin but I will tell u something I heard just last nite.
The message of shabbos rosh shana is to make the entire year shabbosdik, meaning to enfuse ur life with spirituality. So my advice is u had to eat to do ur tafkid so be happy with ur desician and go on with life.

Mummy6- so soon after rosh hashana is not a time to judge another person and I hope that hashem is less judgemental on you and us all.

Hashem_Yaazor

Mon, Sep 25 2006, 1:42 pm

cindy324 wrote:

Quote:

Did a rav tell you that?
What is the difference between a non-pregnant, non-nursing woman and a man regarding fasting? People don't feel they can fast and don't?

Not so pashut. There are groups of Yidden who say women do not have to fast -- certain types of Chassidim, Yerushalmis, some Sephardim, but mainstream ashenazic poskim do NOT give such a blanket heter.
We cannot judge whether someone should be fasting or not, but you can not tell an entire forum of women from all walks of life that there is no halachic basis for women to fast on any of the more minor fast days. It just isn't true.

amother

Mon, Sep 25 2006, 2:09 pm

we need the fast more then anything else. it is good for us spiritually and physically. my mother ALWAYS fasted and passed this on to me. we dont look for heterim. we should always try and do what we should to the best of our ability. if one CANT then yes they should speak to a rav.

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