was I wrong to say this to my neighbors daughter

Barbara

Mon, May 16 2011, 1:22 pm

zipporah wrote:

Barbara wrote:

OP, I honestly wouldn't have a problem with a child using the word *pee* And if I were describing the occurrence in casual conversation, I'd probably use that word *the toddler peed on the couch*

That said, there are words and phrases that are not acceptable in my home, and all of the kids who visit are made aware of that. I see no problem in your setting that rule, even if its not one that I would set in my house.

As long as you're prepared for the same thing to happen to your kid at someone else's house...

I am. Of course, *I* think my rules are pretty reasonable --

(I) no cursing
(ii) no calling other people stupid (although you can say they did something stupid)
(iii) no making derogatory comments about people with special needs or learning differences
(iv) no racial epithets
(v) no use of epithets relating to zexual preference, or using such terms to mean *bad*

amother

Mon, May 16 2011, 4:56 pm

Quote:

Most human refer to it as "peed". "Made" sounds very babyish and abstract.

Not in my world. Pee is extremely babyish
.
Shortly after I gave birth (my fourth child), in the hospital, the nurse walks into the room and asks me if I need to pee! I looked at her like she was off the wall Rolling Eyes

Yuck, I am not a 3 year old being trained. I would expect a professional to speak a bit more professionally.

Yocheved84

Mon, May 16 2011, 5:00 pm

I totally thought the word in question was MUCH worse. As in, one of George Carlin's seven words.

While the word in question here might be deemed infantile by some, it's not *objectionable,* OP! Really? I can think of so many objectionable words that could be used in place of the one that was. Since I'm procrastinating, I think I'll come up with a list. But out of fear of being banned, I'll keep the list to myself, lol.

Chavelamomela

Mon, May 16 2011, 5:15 pm

When kids say "I have to make" I sometimes reply "Make what?"

If you want the medically appropriate term, you can teach them to say "urinate" or "void." Otherwise, I'd pick my battles.

Perhaps such conversations are better placed in the bathroom, but the word made sense in context.

checkbefore

Mon, May 16 2011, 7:12 pm

I always say pish. IDK, pee just sounds dirty to me since we never used that word growing up. I heard someone telling someone he "went a local" to describe what he did in the bathroom. I might start using that phrase myself.

sneakermom

Mon, May 16 2011, 8:19 pm

Personally I think it's unnecessary to perhaps embarrass a child over a trivial word like pee. But that's just my opinion. If I wouldn't want my daughter to use that word I would just speak to her later about it and say, "Listen, neighbor used this word, it's not the end of the world, but I don't like it and want you to refrain from using it". That's all. I would be sure my daughter understood that I'm not putting the neighbor down, it's just my own preference.

I agree that a certain amount of respect is necessary in a home, and speech reflects that. I would be very upset if kids used curse words or vulgar speech in my house. But I do think people get crazy about toilet words, a bit backside in my opinion and I totally think it's overkill.

We are all human - and we have to live with that reality. There is nothing wrong with the way our bodies work and even though we admire modesty and sensitivity we have to be careful not to shame the soul over normal functions of the body.

DrMom

Tue, May 17 2011, 12:02 am

amother wrote:

Shortly after I gave birth (my fourth child), in the hospital, the nurse walks into the room and asks me if I need to pee! I looked at her like she was off the wall Rolling Eyes

Yuck, I am not a 3 year old being trained. I would expect a professional to speak a bit more professionally.

Yes, after I gave birth and was packed and ready to go home, I first had to be checked out by the attending physician. So this guy 5-10 years my junior comes to my room while I a sitting on the edge of my bed and asks me (in Hebrew) "Asit pee-pee v'cocky?" I almost fell over laughing. What am I, 2 years old?

Shopmiami49

Tue, May 17 2011, 3:03 am

Barbara wrote:

Shopmiami49 wrote:

It's never too early to start with rules in your home...

My 3 yr old ds came home from gan using bathroom talk and I told him: In this house we do nto say those words. Maybe in Roie's house his mommy lets, maybe in Avital's house her mommy lets, and that's ok, b/c it's THEIR house and THEIR rules. But in OUR house, this mommy does NOT let those words.

He totally gets it and constantly repeats it.

I assume that you know that its acceptable to use that language in Roie and Avital's house.

Well, yeah, hearing their moms talking to their kids "Do you have to go khaki? Pee?" I would assume its ok with them and that they are aware that their children are following suit. Smile

I guess I should have been more clear when I wrote that ds came home using bathroom talk. I did not mean calling other kids names (like ____head, etc.), but just using words that sounded very vulgar to me. Again, it's a personal sensitivity issue. In essence, they are not bad words, it's just that I have taught my children differently and would prefer that they use those words instead.

ChossidMom

Tue, May 17 2011, 4:18 am

Barbara wrote:

I agree.
We use the words "pee pee" and "kahkky" in our Hebrew speaking home. All the other charedim around here (and that's all we have in this city) find these words to be dirty words and they say "ketanim" and "gedolim" (like in the gemara). So, it's entirely possible that one of my kids may use the word pee pee in someone else's home. I wouldn't be insulted if another mommy told my kid that they don't use that word. (I might find it ridiculous but I wouldn't be offended or feel that she did something wrong).

By the way, my Israeli children have a tendency to giggle when they sing "haketanim im hagedolim" in Hallel. Rolling Eyes

Tue, May 17 2011, 7:54 am

I vote for pee being way better and much less offensive than pish or made (which I assume would be #2)

As long as it wasnt being said in a derogatory way or childish tone, I would not have a problem with any word. Its all about the way its used not the words themselves.

Capitalchick

Tue, May 17 2011, 7:58 am

amother wrote:

OP here. I would say "made" instead of "peed" or had an accident if talking past tense. Is this the way adults talk, I have to pee, or I just peed?

To be honest, it would never occur to me that 'peed' is an offensive word for some people, or that "I made" is somehow a nicer way to say it. If someone used the word "pissed" in my home, I probably wouldn't like that. But 'peed' has always struck me as the actual way to describe the act, unless you want to get clinical, in which case you could say "I urinated".

I always ask my toddler "do you need to pee?", and not because I'm crude or anything, just because that's the word my parents used, and my in laws use, and they use at my dd's gan, etc.

Asking a toddler if they have to 'make', in my opinion, isn't specific enough - when you're toilet training especially, you need specifics!

opinionatedbubby

Tue, May 17 2011, 11:00 am

No one said this yet, so I will: I'm concerned that you are monitoring your 10 yr old's friends' conversations so closely. Not that we all don't do that, but when I listen in, I do it secretly, or very unobtrusively, and I would never interrupt about such a benign "misdemeanor" The kid now feels self conscious at best, and really embarrassed and hurt at worst. Or maybe they are all rolling their eyes and thinking what a pain you are. In any event, I would tell my daughter privately what I think, and point out that you didn't want to embarrass a guest in your home. Did you?

Is this your oldest? Choose your battles, you have a long road ahead of you. Smile

penguin

Tue, May 17 2011, 12:05 pm

I am curious what the grow-up way would be for the Israeli doctor to ask if your excretory system was functioning properly? (I assume ketanim, gedolim is loshon hagemara & not necessarily used in modern Hebrew?)

Ingrid

Tue, May 17 2011, 3:02 pm

Yes, well, being asked by a dr. "Did you do pee-pee and cocky?" is pretty weird, but at least you understood. The first time I brought my baby to the metapelet and she asked me what time the baby does "keyvah" (stomach) I had no idea what she was talking about so she whispered in my ear *cocky*. And there's an entire joke about a Dr. who tells his patient to use a supository, but the patient doesn't understand where to put the pill and each time he calls back to ask the Dr. and the Dr. uses another euphemism until on the 7th call the Dr. yells "Tasim oto batachat shelcha!" (put it in your tuchus!) His wife asks, Nu, what did the Dr. say and he answers, I still don't know, but he sure is rude!