How should I call this woman?

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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viznitz

Mon, Jun 13 2011, 5:01 pm

Mr. and Mrs. X where married with children. They got divorced and even after 10 years she was still known Mrs. X.
Former Mrs. X got married to Mr. Z. Mr. Z and new Mrs. Z didnt have children. They got divorced after a year or so.
So now, is this woman former Mrs. X from her first marriage or former Mrs. Z from her second marriage?
I can't call her by her first name. I've first met her as former Mrs. X, I've attended her wedding with Mr. Z, I've called her as Mrs. Z. It's public knowledge she has got divorced from Mr. Z.

Last edited by viznitz on Mon, Jun 13 2011, 5:13 pm; edited 2 times in total

auntie_em

Mon, Jun 13 2011, 5:08 pm

What is calling herself? Or am I missing something?

viznitz

Mon, Jun 13 2011, 5:29 pm

ops.sorry ,I fixed it.

MamaBear

Mon, Jun 13 2011, 5:36 pm

Just ask her what full name she's using now. It's a perfectly acceptable question to ask.

momo4

Mon, Jun 13 2011, 5:45 pm

Most people call themselves with the last name they had she's not Mrs X now, and her maiden name is not X. I would doubt she went back to X. I would tell you to call her Mrs Z, and she'll correct you if she chose otherwise.

Rubber Ducky

Mon, Jun 13 2011, 5:46 pm

It's really OK to ask her directly.

groisamomma

Mon, Jun 13 2011, 5:49 pm

My grandmother went back to using her first husband's name after her second husband died. It wasn't divorce, though, so maybe that makes a difference?

SunshineWoman

Mon, Jun 13 2011, 6:32 pm

Traditionally the woman's last name would likely be the same name as her former husband (I guess 'z'). However in today's age, woman have the opportunity to choose the last name they wish to be called. She may have even reverted back to her maiden name (her father's last name). I know people who have kept their maiden names after divorce. I agree with the previous posters, ask the lady directly what name she wishes to be called by.

mominisrael2

Tue, Jun 14 2011, 8:32 am

At the same time, some women seem to prefer whatever name they've had the longest, or what name most people are most familiar with professionally...I have one relative who still goes by her ex-husband's name, and one who goes by husband #1's last name even though she's since divorced him and now married to husband #2, and one who goes by her maiden name professionally and husband #2's name around friends. In other words, there are no set rules, and I don't think she would be offended if you ask what she's going by these days.

viznitz

Tue, Jun 14 2011, 10:49 am

I've just got an wedding invitation for her son's wedding, and she is calling herself as Mrs. X.
So I guess I'll use that.
thanks everybody

chocolate moose

Tue, Jun 14 2011, 10:58 am

she may not have legally changed her hame. I have a friend like that. or, specially if she's older, she may go by her first married name.

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