Day off at the beach?

amother

Wed, Jul 13 2011, 9:00 am

My sisters and I go to the beach all the time and (GASP) get down to our bathing suits. We do try and find a strip of the beach that is deserted but if men show up we ignore them. It is something we do every summer and totally enjoy.

As for men going to a mixed gym. You ladies need to do something with your husbands if they are getting turned on by seeing women working out and sweating even if they are scantly clothed. I am reading these posts about how if a man exercises in a mixed gym he is asking for trouble....WHY....my DH goes to a mixed gym, works with women, goes to R rated movies, bars and clubs and would NEVER do anything inappropriate. Hold your men accountable. If they see a beautiful women oh well big deal that shouldn't turn them on and cause them to do inappropriate things. Why should women have to dress frumpy and in black to avoid causing attention to herself because some man may look at her and do something inappropriate. Tell these men to grow up!!!!

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Jul 13 2011, 10:27 am

chocolate moose wrote:

Any man who is going to exercise in a mixed gym is asking for trouble. Yes, he can tell himself not to look. And perhaps he is able to desensitive himself to scantily dressed females. But none of that is my problem. If I see frum men, I dress appropriately. Otherwise, if they take off their levushim, they're doing ganeivus hadaas.

First of all, CM, not all jewish men wear kippot all of the time. And I am talking about frum ones. So what geneiva are they doing? That is who they are.

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Jul 13 2011, 10:29 am

amother wrote:

WOW, amother, I wish you would not be amother. I totally agree with everything you say in your second paragraph.
I agree, why in the world should women be accountable for it all? Let the men be men and not hormonal little boys.
My husband also goes to a mixed gym and watches all kinds of movies. And he is a man about it all.
I may not be saying it all so grand, but I totally agree with you. You said it so well.

MaBelleVie

Wed, Jul 13 2011, 10:30 am

chocolate moose wrote:

Maybe by YOU dressing the way YOU are, YOU'RE the one doing geneivas daas.

Not that I have a problem with someone being told by his or her rav that using a mixed gym is ok. But I'm not sure why the men have to be the ones wearing their kippas while women can bare their arms.

amother

Wed, Jul 13 2011, 10:36 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

amother wrote:

I am only imamother cause I know people who are following me on this site and I post everything anonymously so they cannot track me.

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Jul 13 2011, 10:38 am

amother wrote:

shabbatiscoming wrote:

amother wrote:

I am only imamother cause I know people who are following me on this site and I post everything anonymously so they cannot track me.

OK, just wanted you to know that you have at least one person in your corner Very Happy

I liked your post and agree in full.

chocolate moose

Wed, Jul 13 2011, 11:25 am

I don't think I'm doing ganeivas hadaas by wearing exercise clothes in the gym. No frum man should be looking at me, scantily clad or not. Whatever I am wearing or not wearing, should not matter. Although I considered getting a henna tatoo so that no one would think I'm Jewish .. but I digress.

I'm not saying that a woman should walk around like that in the office or in the street or at the mall. But I AM saying that there is a time and place for everything. In the gym, it's usual to wear exercise clothes. In the hospital, a gown. In the office, street clothes. At home, a robe. Get what I mean ?

shoshina

Wed, Jul 13 2011, 12:00 pm

I am very, very MO but it would never occur to me to wear a bathing suit in public. I do not for one second understand how it is reasonable for me to make sure to be covered from collarbones to knees every day of my life, but then, just because I'm on vacation, have naked legs to the crotch, naked arms and chest, and a skin tight outfit. It has nothing to do with what men will or will not see, it has to do with how I, a frum Jewish woman, present myself to the world. So sure, maybe a Jewish man won't see me, maybe a man wont' see me, but *I* know that this is how I dressed to go out in public, and Hashem knows. Do you only keep tsnius if no one is watching/you won't get caught?

MaBelleVie

Wed, Jul 13 2011, 12:33 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

Sure I do. I only took issue with the fact that you believe a man is guilty of geneivas daas by not dressing in an obviously frum way at the gym. You have a right to wear exercise clothes, and so does he. Many men wear caps when they work out, Jewish or not. And they certainly are not wearing tzitzit or a penguin costume. Trust me, no one is there to check you out. But they don't have to advertise their frumkeit, either.

chocolate moose

Wed, Jul 13 2011, 1:25 pm

Listen, I'm not going to the ghym to pick up a man, and I assume that they are not looking for female companionship either. Whether they look outwardly Jewish or not, I assume and hope they are not looking at me.

For the record, ShosIma, tsnius is not a sunup to sundown, 24/7/365 concern. You are allowed to wear a tichel or uncover your hair at home, or in certain circumstances. You are allowed to shower without a hair covering, toivel in the known manner, give birth at leat partially uncovered, see a dr for an examination, etc.

Don't build it up to be more than it is.

amother

Wed, Jul 13 2011, 1:31 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

For the record, ShosIma, tsnius is not a sunup to sundown, 24/7/365 concern. You are allowed to wear a tichel or uncover your hair at home, or in certain circumstances. You are allowed to shower without a hair covering, toivel in the known manner, give birth at leat partially uncovered, see a dr for an examination, etc.

Don't build it up to be more than it is.

I was gonna say something like that Very Happy

chocolate moose

Wed, Jul 13 2011, 1:36 pm

You are welcomed to chime in at any time !

For example, I have a friend who needs to lose weight and build up her muscle tone. She is so freaked out by not being tsnius for even a second, that she can't bring herself to exercise. (How she showers, etc., is beyond me. I didn't ask.)

Not making a decision is also making a decision. If she ignores her health concerns, they don't go away. She is cheating no one but herself. (Actually she's cheating her husband & her kids, but that's a different story ... )

saw50st8

Wed, Jul 13 2011, 6:35 pm

Raisin wrote:

for those of you who see no problem with wearing a regular swimming costume to the beach, what about a tznius swimsuit? What is you reason for not wearing one of those?

They are really expensive.

I usually wear long swimming shorts and a t-shirt instead. But I'm not careful with tznius really.

Raisin

Thu, Jul 14 2011, 3:59 am

saw50st8 wrote:

Raisin wrote:

for those of you who see no problem with wearing a regular swimming costume to the beach, what about a tznius swimsuit? What is you reason for not wearing one of those?

They are really expensive.

I usually wear long swimming shorts and a t-shirt instead. But I'm not careful with tznius really.

correct, they are expensive. But it's a one off expense. And if you can't afford that, there are many thngs you can wear for swimmng that are more tznius then a one peice suit. I see a lot of long swimwear in the stores now. (maybe becasue people are worried about skin cancer?)

shoshina

Thu, Jul 14 2011, 6:44 am

chocolate moose wrote:

I don't know that I'm building it up to more than it is, just questioning why we adhere to the standards that we do. Do we keep tsnius only to protect Jewish men (Frum Jewish Men) from looking at us? Or do we keep tsnius because of the standards of our religion, our family, and our personal standards. Because you're right, Jewish men aren't looking at us 24/7/365, but the standards of religion, family, and personal standards are actually a concern (at least to me) 24/7/365