Now What? | Imamother

sneakermom

Fri, Jul 15 2011, 9:33 am

As Jews we work to create light. We raise families, teach our children to do mitzvos, learn Torah, and live a life that brings light to the world.

And then we see a person who is drawn to snuffing out that light.

How can we stomach that? How can we go on after this happened? How could such a thing have happened?

And how is such a person created? He does sound like a sociopath. And that is usually created by screwed up attachments. But how do we prevent that? How much power do each of us really have? Can we just point fingers at families in which we see craziness and really do something about that? Is it really "our" business? I personally know some very crazy families and I simply don't do anything about it...because what can I do? And do we really want to create some frenzied witch hunt?

The Rebbe said that there is no way we can snuff out all darkness and we need to focus on creating light. But when the light we created is destroyed. It hurts so much, it feels so bitter. And the irony is that we are feeling so much pain because the murderer felt no pain at all. We have a feeling of connectiveness that he lacks. In some crazy way he lives a life of emotional Kareis. A soul that lives in this world but is cut off at the same time.

And it is perhaps a feeling of jealousy that other people have what he does not that causes him to kill. I don't completely understand it. It's fascinating in an awful acrid way. And the irony is that a sociopath has no feelings of pain but created an act that brought that feeling about in such a strong way....just not in himself. Do you think that because he couldn't feel it in himself he wished to create it in some other way, in others?

I know I'm rambling....but what else can I do? So the question is what can we do? How can we take an act of evil and make light from it? How can we beseech G-d to bring the world to a place that the good that is created is not destroyed. Hashem Yeracheim...I think that is my worst fear. That we will continue to create only to see so much destroyed in our lives.

grin

Sat, Jul 16 2011, 2:51 pm

This reminds me of a story that Rabbi Silver told after the Shoah. he was forming a minyon and one yid said that he couldn't daven anymore, ever since he saw how one yid in the camp smuggled in a siddur and rented out its use for bread. No bread, no siddur. He died soon after from overeating.

Rabbi Silver's answer: why focus on him and not on all those yidden willing to forgo a piece of bread for use of the siddur?

So too, here - we can focus on a crazy (literally) psychopath or we can focus on all the selfless acts of kindness by simple yidden around the globe on their behalf.

sneakermom

Sat, Jul 16 2011, 11:10 pm

You are right grin. You are really right. I have to stop focusing on the horrific act. Frankly it is making me sick.

I am proud so so proud of the way we all banded together. And I truly feel that that is our real essence, to be one. Yes the humdrum of life clouds it at times, but when something like this happens it goes beyond that dusty surface and the truth comes out. We are one, and nothing can really separate us.

So I guess my next thought is what now? What can we change in the world, within ourselves, as a klall L'ilua Nishmas Leiby? What does the klall feel should be done? Or perhaps the question is what does Hashem want from us in response to this?

Isramom8

Sun, Jul 17 2011, 8:30 am

I noticed that I'm caring about other people's children more. I'm spending time and effort to talk to parents when they complain about challenges with their kids, and I'm trying to invite these kids over when I can.

We are one, so maybe let's try to extend ourselves where we can to other kids and their parents, when it doesn't interfere with our own kids' well being, of course. Or maybe that is just an answer for me, and every Imamother needs to seek her own answer.

ChossidMom

Sun, Jul 17 2011, 9:48 am

sneakermom wrote:

I think Hashem wants us to GET OUR ACT TOGETHER. Everyone knows exactly in what he/she needs to improve. No magic, encompassing answer here. Maybe for one person it's tznius and for another it's ayin tova and less judgementalism. Another person may need to learn how to extend himself to his fellow man and do more chessed. We all know what our issues are. It's time to start working on OURSELVES. Not on the "hot chanies" or anyone else. It's between US and Hashem. (Dwelling on the murderer isn't going to bring light into this world).