Got a dog.Think it was a mistake.Did this happen to a/o else

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Sep 05 2011, 9:47 pm

shalhevet wrote:

Shabbat, just get rid of it. I think I really have a responsibility to post on this thread as someone who isn't into dogs at all. Sorry, but some posters here are obviously emotionally attached to their pets and are projecting onto you. Some posts sound like a poster is writing that she can't cope with her baby (lehavdil) and is considering giving it up for adoption.

This is just not worth one minute of your misery. Even if you adore your dog in six months time, who cares? You still have to live with it tomorrow meanwhile.

Your dh cannot expect you to do an optional activity because he wants it. If he wants a dog he will have to wait for a time when he can take care of it (if such a time ever comes).

I can assure you there are thousands and hundreds of thousands of happy, healthy, well-adjusted children growing up all over the world who don't have a pet.

Just get rid of it tomorrow morning. Give it away. Or give it to a shelter if you can't find somewhere else. Your happiness and sanity (and that of your family who you care for) are worth more than a dog.

Shalhevet, I just wanted to say that your post actually made me smile. Thank you for being so direct. It helped when I read it.
And of course I know that my daughter will be a happy well adjusted child even without a pet Very Happy

BH.
Maybe we will get something small in a cage. And maybe not. Life will go on and the dog will soon be forgotten by her. She is only 3 and the dog will have been with us for 48 hours tops.
Again, thanks for writing so level headed.

techiemom

Mon, Sep 05 2011, 9:55 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

Hey, I can't stand bell peppers! Does that make me evil?

Well we've had a dog, rabbit, rats, bearded dragon lizard, rose-haired tarantula, fish and I'm probably forgetting something, but we never raised bell peppers LOL

I'm not (too) mishugah, just felt deprived as a child because of my mom's allergies. The rats were actually the best/easiest pets but they don't live long and it was very hard on the children when they died.

We loved our dog, who was rescued from the pound. She had probably been abused - was terrified every time we raised the broom to sweep - but gradually learned to trust us. I was forever grateful that she was toilet trained (so to speak) but barked and barked and made neighbors crazy and required quite a bit of work. We also took her to training class and found that helpful.

Another consideration is that dogs can also be expensive -- in the later years our vet bills were quite high - and trying to find food for Pesach was a problem, although now-a-days there are more options. We loved her and she gave back unconditional love but she was work. I would trust your own instincts.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Sep 06 2011, 3:54 am

Shabbat, I love the story about the ema dog missing her puppy! I think that's very sweet, and your DD will understand in her own way.

I hope everything works out for you and the puppy, and I'm sorry you were crying and so upset over it. This just proves that you ARE a good person, or else you wouldn't be so worried about wanting what's best for everyone.

Hashem should send you lots of children, and your husband will wonder what he was even thinking about with the dog!

shabbatiscoming

Tue, Sep 06 2011, 4:02 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

FF, thank you for the wonderful bracha at the end of your post. This actually really touched me a great deal because I am going through IF now and am trying to get pregnant, so the bracha was given over to me in the best time ever. Thank you.

And about the ema dog missing her puppy, that was the only thing that I could think of that would make my daughter understand. I explained to her that I miss her when she goes away and so the ema dog misses her pup too.

shabbatiscoming

Tue, Sep 06 2011, 4:18 am

YESHASettler wrote:

I wouldn't consider getting a dog until we buy a house. And then... NOT getting a puppy.

The cuteness of having a puppy doesn't last long enough for me to have to put up with the behavior of a puppy.

Yesha, we are in a house (renting but a house) so I thought that it would be a bit easier.
NOT.
this puppy is a little bit cute, but I am not really feeling it. The dog is going back later today. Everything will be much better and I will feel better when the dog is back with the mother.

gp2.0

Tue, Sep 06 2011, 8:33 am

You're not the only one who feels like this. Read some aspca articles trying to enlighten people about the responsibilities of pets. How shelters are flooded after xmas with puppies and kittens that parents bought for kids because 'oh so cute' and then nobody wants to do the boring parts like clean up after it and train it.

After easter the shelters are flooded with bunnies. After a disney movie about parrots/guinea pigs/mice the shelters are flooded with those.

If you're going to resent the dog, find a better home for it.

And the next time you feel up to adopting a dog (if ever) carefully research it.

*find out which breeds are happy in the city, often with no yard (generally smaller dogs)

*find out which dogs need least amount of care (some can be trained to do their business indoors on 'piddle pads')

*adopt an older dog, they require less work than puppies and are often already trained

*adopt from a shelter

*consider fostering a dog - just taking care of it until a permanent home can be found for it

*your DH can volunteer at a shelter/get a side job dogwalking/go jogging in a dog park/find some other way to interact with dogs that aren't your responsibility

And to all of you saying, oh, just get fish or a hamster etc., every pet is a responsibility. And if you're not ready to handle one pet, chances are you're not interested in any pet. Every pet needs its cage/tank cleaned at some point, and it's always a bother.

morah

Tue, Sep 06 2011, 9:17 am

I begged for a cat when I was kid. My mom was mildly allergic and figured since her allergies were not that bad, we could get a cat. Well, while her allergies were mild enough that she could, say, spend the day at residence where a cat happened to live, she could not actually live with a cat. The allergies became very severe (and to this day, they remain severe; now my mom cannot go anywhere near a cat) and the cat had to go after just 2 weeks. I did learn a little something about pets from the experience and not just about allergies- I know I never want a pet again. DH and I are in agreement that children are enough of a responsibility (and expense!) and we'd rather spend our time, energy, and money on children than on animals. No matter how much our kids beg, they will never get a pet. We know ourselves, and it is not for us- not everyone is cut out for pets.

Leesah

Tue, Sep 06 2011, 10:15 am

I have to say that I LOVE dogs, especially puppies. They are just sooo cute!
That being said, I always BEGGED my DH for a dog, but we live in an appartment on the third floor so he said "no. Not untill we have a yard."

One day I was walking home and I saw this little puppy, no more than a few weeks old, in the street. Ppl were trying to kick it away from this fast food place it was trying to enter.
To make a long story short, I carried him home.

BTW, I am chareidi (sort of, kinda not sure) and ppl were like shock

STARING at me carrying this THING!! LOL

My dh was also kind of surprised Twisted Evil

but he liked the puppy...

But like I said, we live in an appartment and the puppy was TOTALLY not trained or inclined to be trained. I was cleaning up messes 24/7. But he was cute..
Anyway, I was uber busy and trying to entertain a puppy was not really working. The thing was like a toddler, always demanding my attention and not letting me get anything done. It was driving me nuts!!!
So we decided to give him to a shelter, but when we got there they said that the is no room at the moment so; "someone will have to be put down, but we really aren't allowed to tell you this..."

My DH and I looked at each other and left the place...
So we tried to find someone to take him, we didn't, but the poor puppy came down with a deadly virus and there was nothing we could do for him. Sad

We tried everything we could, but he died. And I was sad, even though I was SICK of him by then... I was very upset...

So what I learned was:
1. dogs are HARD WORK.
2. you to have to really be willing to take care of them
3. never get a untrained puppy!! (at least for me!)

and I'll be sure to have this in mind when we do move and I can get a dog again!

Shabbat --- don't feel bad, you don't even LIKE dogs! I do and mine drove me up the wall! Find it a good home and get a gerbil or something.

ewa-jo

Wed, Sep 07 2011, 4:48 pm

morah wrote:

I also begged for a cat. My parents got me one when I was 12 and it turned out to be the best cat *EVER*... he was friendly and sweet and playful and my parents fell in love with him. They wouldn't let me take him hen I moved out... he was their cat now. Also ,my mom said my brother would feel bad because he liked the cat so much. This cat lived to be 18 years old and we all cried buckets when he passed away. My parents didn't think they were animal people. They have a cat now (they're retirees), who they treat as if she were a child.... taking care of her makes them happy.

I have 3 children now.. my oldest will be 3 in January... and I couldn't imagine my life without a cat. We have a cat rescued from the Old City.. he is very good-natured and tolerates toddlers grabbing his fur, pulling his tail, tugging at his ears...etc. My oldest loves all animals, but we would never get a dog because it's so much work. It's easy enough to put out dry food for the cat and scoop the catbox a few times a week... that's all the effort I'm willing to put in for non-humans in my house.