Clean home sometimes - overwoked, laziness, or emotional?

amother

Wed, Nov 02 2011, 4:28 am

I organize my house and work crazy hard to get it together. The next day I sleep instead of cleaning - I'm burnt out! I continue the next day but it already a balagan. It frustrate me since I'm always redoing what I've worked so hard to accomplish. I often push off laundry. It can stay in the machine for a day before I hang it. Bh I have 4 little ones. I can't figure out if I just have a lack of Seder or if I need help physically or a life coach... I don't work and have a baby at home. I've always been disorganized but work so hard to win against my nature. If someone Else does my cleaning then maybe I'll slack off even more! should I be able to keep it all somewhat together?

grace413

Wed, Nov 02 2011, 5:25 am

4 little kids is a plenty of work, even if some of them are out of the house part of the day.

Housework is by nature repetitive; the clothes get dirty again, the dishes need to be washed again, the toys are all over the place, etc. I find it very depressing to be constantly doing chores I don't enjoy which, while necessary, have no lasting value.

You should be able to keep it together somewhat - the question is what is an acceptable level and that varies from person to person. IMHO, if you've already washed the dirty clothes, find the energy to take them out of the washer because otherwise they smell and then you've really wasted your time.

I find cooking at least somewhat satisfying, because I have a grateful and thankful DH, so I feel appreciated. It's very hard for me to constantly straighten up and wash floors when I know it will just be a mess again. Furthermore in the contest between books/internet and housework, the housework is never going to win.

And yes, it's exhausting to go against your nature all the time. And speaking of exhausting, I think spending time with your kids is a better use of your energy. oK, they all need to eat and to have clean clothes and you don't want to walk on a sticky floor. Try to find the mimimum you can do. 20 years from now your kids will remember that you played with them but they won't remember if the house was clean or not.

zaq

Wed, Nov 02 2011, 9:25 pm

Uh, hellooooo? You have 4 little kids and you wonder why your house doesn't stay pristine? You "slack off" on Monday b/c you overextended yourself on Sunday. Someone once said that trying to clean house while you have small children at home is like shoveling while it's still snowing--at best your break even, but you can never hope to clean up and stay there. Now you know why they say "woman's work is never done". Not that it should be woman's work, you understand. men can and should pitch in and do their part. Sigh. Wouldn't it be nice to be, say, a construction worker, build a monument and it's done, then build another? But housework isn't like that. Kill yourself to clean up, next day it's just a memory and you have to do it all over again!

Sometimes you have to bow to reality. With young children, your house will never be as clean and tidy as you'd like unless you have a full-time live-in obsessive-compulsive housekeeper--and if you did, she'd drive you around the bend within a week picking up after you and whisking away your mug before you've even finished your coffee!

So just shrug your shoulders, understand that child-centered chaos is a stage everyone goes through, and this, too, shall pass. Go with the flow. Provided your family has clean, warm clothes (not bleached, starched and ironed to within an inch of their lives), nutritious food (not necessarily hot, freshly-cooked, homemade from scratch gourmet food), and a home environment that is reasonably sanitary (not white-glove clinically clean), you're doing well enough.

zaq

Wed, Nov 02 2011, 9:25 pm