Community and school for out of the box??

Aylat

Wed, Nov 23 2011, 8:26 am

We are planning to make aliyah in the next 6-12 months b'H!! Our big question at the moment is a community and schools - complicated by the fact that we don't fit into the neat Israeli categories of chareidi or dati le’umi. I’ve tried to give a rough profile of us below – if you have any suggestions for a community we would fit into, or appropriate schools, I’d be so grateful!! Smile

My husband is a doctor and has a chavrusa every day. We greatly admire those who learn in kollel but don’t think it is the right derech for everyone. DH wears coloured shirts but is willing to wear black and white to fit into a community that we felt was otherwise ideal for us, similarly with me and not wearing denim. I cover my hair fully, don’t actually own a sheitel, for personal rather than hashkafic reasons. We both place a lot of emphasis on tznius as a mitzvah and don’t follow the opinion of leaving a tefach of the arms/hair etc. I admire the chareidi insulation from secular culture, though I was not brought up like that and I read secular books, though choose only things without graphic violence/romance/sx. My DH is working on not watching videos/playing video games. We have filtered internet at home. We don’t have a TV. I enjoy watching nature documentaries, and think it is actually good for my yirat Shamayim.

Schools – we want a school which would truly introduce our boys to limmud Torah, and encourage them to dedicate their lives to Torah learning, full-time if that was the right thing for them to do. But we want them to have the options and abilities to follow a profession or trade if that would be right for them, and so we want them to get bagruyot. Girls school basically equivalent hashkafa re kollel/kovea itim, though I think there aren’t the same issues with secular subjects since most girls are given the preparation to earn a living.

My daughter will be 6 and my eldest son 5 when we make aliya, so I’m obviously looking at elementary schools (kita aleph and gan chova I think).

TIA for any help or suggestions! Smile

rovacat

Wed, Nov 23 2011, 10:26 am

I don't know anything about boys schools ( I'm still trying to figure that out myself) but, I found an amazing girls school that sounds exactly like what you described. it's called ayelet hashachar, and it's in the kiryat moshe neighborhood of yerushalayim. I have 2 girls there, and so far we have been very happy. it's a private school. they technically call themselves chardal. the staff is all chareidi. it's a small school with small classes- they purposely keep it that way. they maintain a loving, warm environment. it is definitely a unique school for israel, and definitely worth checking out. hatzlacha!

stillgrowing

Wed, Nov 23 2011, 11:08 am

that describes us well also. I would basically call myself willing to go chareidi except that I do not believe that full time learning is the best option for all boys and I would want my boys (albeit young, now 3 and 4) to have the option to go and get a degree and work if they should so choose. how acceptable is this within chareidi society? what is the place for boys who cant just sit and learn all day? I heard that things are somewhat changing within charedi society due to economic concerns. is that true?

Aylat

Thu, Nov 24 2011, 4:30 pm

Thanks for all your replies so far!

Kochav hashachar amother - that's really interesting because someone already suggested we look into kochav hashachar. Would your friend let me contact her to ask her questions about her community?

Rovacat - thanks, it actually sounds really good! But I don't think we'll be able to live in Yerushalayim unfortunately - too expensive.

ekd - yeah that's basically us. It's hard. I believe/hope things are changing but don't know for sure.

Seraph - thanks for the suggestion! I had a quick look at the yishuv website. Am going away for shabbat so don't have time now, but can I pm you with any questions I have?

DrMom - interesting question, I'm not really sure. I was brought up in a small community that was pretty mixed but I hadn't really considered what I want now. Possibly a community of people similar to us (does that make me sound really insular?)

Seraph

Thu, Nov 24 2011, 4:57 pm

Aylat wrote:

Seraph - thanks for the suggestion! I had a quick look at the yishuv website. Am going away for shabbat so don't have time now, but can I pm you with any questions I have?

Sure you can.

My mother lives in kochav hashachar, and honestly, from what I've seen of kochav hashachar, its nothing like how you're describing yourself. The schools there, imo, are problematic and don't exactly encourage being strong in yiddishkeit... :-/
You can pm me questions about kochav hashachar as well.

Malasheval

Thu, Nov 24 2011, 5:03 pm

Seraph wrote:

This isnt a school, but my community, Kochav Yaakov, seems like it would fit you perfectly. You sound much like us, and we certainly don't stick out here- there are people to the right and left of us here.

And for the record, I don't wear a sheitel either, but cover 100%

OT, but Seraph, who's the beautiful woman in the wig on your website?

I 'd always assumed that was you, and now you're messing up my whole mental image... Smile

Seraph

Thu, Nov 24 2011, 5:08 pm

Malasheval wrote:

Seraph wrote:

OT, but Seraph, who's the beautiful woman in the wig on your website?

I 'd always assumed that was you, and now you're messing up my whole mental image... Smile

Lol. That's me. I borrowed my friends sheitel for that pic. My rav has no issue with sheitel wearing, I just don't feel comfortable with it, because of certain reasons, but those reasons didn't apply when it came to my website, and there were more reasons to wear a sheitel for that pic instead of a tichel/beret/hat that outweighed my reasons not to wear a sheitel, and since my rav is totally cool with sheitels and its just a personal comfort thing, etc...

Aylat

Thu, Nov 24 2011, 5:27 pm

Malasheval wrote:

Seraph wrote:

OT, but Seraph, who's the beautiful woman in the wig on your website?

I 'd always assumed that was you, and now you're messing up my whole mental image... Smile

Haha, that's so funny, I thought the same thing. But then I just assumed you'd put a random photo on for a site 'image'. lol LOL

Seraph

Thu, Nov 24 2011, 5:31 pm

Malasheval wrote:

Okay, just checking. Smile

I always have that pic in my head when I read your posts. You're the only one on this site that isn't faceless to me, and I didn't want to lose that!

I guess I just have to modify the image a bit.

Mitpachat or snood? For the sake of accuracy, you know...

Lol. Typically Israeli tichel, but sometimes also berets.

Lol, if you need an exact description for accuracy, here is me a few hours ago, before heading out to a wedding...
https://www.facebook.com/photo.....eater

Seraph

Thu, Nov 24 2011, 5:37 pm

amother wrote:

Sereph, u have a website? Do share!

Lol, its in my signature, PennilessParenting.com

Quote:

Also ur mother may have different type of exposure than the younger marrieds that live there?

Maybe. But my younger siblings live there too. They're 12, 14, and 21, and they go to school there or went to school there. My married step sister who is 24 with two kids also lives there now, and all my step siblings grew up in kochav hashachar. The people there are nice, but its not a "torani/chardal yishuv". Just standard dati leumi as far as I can see. If you want more to the right but still dati leumi, bet el bet probably would be a better fit.
ETA: You didn't say how you feel about zionism/rav kook/medinat yisrael, because these dati leumi places are VERY VERY zionistic in a religious sense for the most part, and you have to make sure you're cool/comfortable with that.

Quote:

I'm sure my friend wouldn't mind u asking her about kochav hashachar. She may even be on here? I must ask her. Will try and speak to her over the weekend and pm you details.

JOOC, is your friends initials RN?

Malasheval

Thu, Nov 24 2011, 5:45 pm

Seraph wrote:

Malasheval wrote:

Okay, just checking. Smile

OK, that's officially my new visual. Thanks!

BTW, both you and your son are adorable!

And what a cute little belly... Smile

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Nov 24 2011, 5:48 pm

Seraph wrote:

amother wrote:

Sereph, u have a website? Do share!

Lol, its in my signature, PennilessParenting.com

Quote:

Also ur mother may have different type of exposure than the younger marrieds that live there?

Quote:

I'm sure my friend wouldn't mind u asking her about kochav hashachar. She may even be on here? I must ask her. Will try and speak to her over the weekend and pm you details.

JOOC, is your friends initials RN?

So interesting seraph because I know three families and I would only describe them as being chardal/torani, and not regular dati leumi. Ill tell you that one of the rabbanim that the sem that I went to, you know..., lives there. Do you know who I mean? Well, this rav is not JUST dati leumi.

Seraph

Thu, Nov 24 2011, 5:49 pm

Aylat wrote:

Malasheval wrote:

Seraph wrote:

OT, but Seraph, who's the beautiful woman in the wig on your website?

I 'd always assumed that was you, and now you're messing up my whole mental image... Smile

Haha, that's so funny, I thought the same thing. But then I just assumed you'd put a random photo on for a site 'image'. lol LOL

No, I don't do random pics of me. That's lying, being facetious, or whatever.
Instead, I just took a pic with sunglasses and a sheitel, so different than my standard look that its not immediately obvious to anyone passing me on the street that its me.
To the extent that someone read my site, met me, and said "You know, theres this blog I think you should read- it seems your speed, its PennilessParenting.com" and I said "You know thats my site? There's even a pic of me there." But it looks so different from me on a standard day that even my own friend didn't realize that.

Seraph

Thu, Nov 24 2011, 5:56 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Seraph wrote:

amother wrote:

Sereph, u have a website? Do share!

Lol, its in my signature, PennilessParenting.com

Quote:

Also ur mother may have different type of exposure than the younger marrieds that live there?

Quote:

I'm sure my friend wouldn't mind u asking her about kochav hashachar. She may even be on here? I must ask her. Will try and speak to her over the weekend and pm you details.

JOOC, is your friends initials RN?

I guess in comparison to what. Rabbi S (thats who you mean, yea?) is pretty middle of the road dati leumi, not very modern and not very extremely strict either. The really strict DL is rather different, more to the right.