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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Should I speak to her? to him? mind my own business?



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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2011, 8:58 am
Walking downtown, I saw a friend of mine (not a very close friend, but I know her since we are little) with a man that was not her husband, and they were being more than friendly (how to put it nicely?).
I have no idea what to do, and if to do anything...
On the one hand, I want to warn her but I'm extremely embarassed and have no idea how to approach her ... on the other hand, I do not want not to destroy a couple but does the husband not deserve to know? Then again, maybe I should just ignore the whole thing and put in out of my mind?
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TranquilityAndPeace




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2011, 9:02 am
Are you sure it was inappropriate?

Could it have been her brother? Or other relative?

If you are 100% sure it was inappropriate, I think I'd send her a one-line anonymous email. She's married, so you are doing her a favor by making her nervous about this, but don't get involved if you're just a casual friend IMHO!
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2011, 12:20 pm
amother wrote:
Walking downtown, I saw a friend of mine (not a very close friend, but I know her since we are little) with a man that was not her husband, and they were being more than friendly (how to put it nicely?).
I have no idea what to do, and if to do anything...
On the one hand, I want to warn her but I'm extremely embarassed and have no idea how to approach her ... on the other hand, I do not want not to destroy a couple but does the husband not deserve to know? Then again, maybe I should just ignore the whole thing and put in out of my mind?
No matter what you (think) you saw, you dont know the whole story.
I say, mind your own business because if you were wrong, you will ruin a couple's marriage and that is an even worse thing to have on your shoulders.
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saw50st8




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2011, 12:23 pm
I would want to know.

Assuming you saw inappropriate behavior like them making out, not a kiss on the cheek between old friends.
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mom2cutee




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2011, 12:25 pm
I don't know if this is very bad advice (this is what I would do), but, why don't you just tell her this in coversation.

"Oh, I saw you yesterday/the other day downtown in this and this place."

And see what she says.
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TranquilityAndPeace




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2011, 12:32 pm
shabbatiscoming wrote:
amother wrote:
Walking downtown, I saw a friend of mine (not a very close friend, but I know her since we are little) with a man that was not her husband, and they were being more than friendly (how to put it nicely?).
I have no idea what to do, and if to do anything...
On the one hand, I want to warn her but I'm extremely embarassed and have no idea how to approach her ... on the other hand, I do not want not to destroy a couple but does the husband not deserve to know? Then again, maybe I should just ignore the whole thing and put in out of my mind?
No matter what you (think) you saw, you dont know the whole story.
I say, mind your own business because if you were wrong, you will ruin a couple's marriage and that is an even worse thing to have on your shoulders.


Why would it ruin a marriage if OP tells HER? Unless you think that the DH and DW share an email account?
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2011, 12:34 pm
A recently divorced friend of mine changed her profile pic on facebook in which she is intimately embracing a very handsome man. I raised my eyebrows a bit, and as it turns it out, the guy is her brother. So you never can know.....

I still think it was pretty silly of her to put that picture up and I myself would never hug my brothers that way, but different strokes for different folks
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2011, 3:26 pm
OP

The man was not her brother (first of all, I know the family), they was no mistaking what they were doing.

I like mom2cutee's suggestion... like this I leave it up to her...

Thanks!
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amother


 

Post Wed, Nov 30 2011, 3:47 pm
I think you should stay out of it. you don't want to get involved don't talk to either of them. we have to take responsiblity for our own lives and our own self improvement, yes I know we have to look out for other Jews but this is not like you saw her stealing this is her personal business, just leave it.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Nov 30 2011, 3:48 pm
I think you should stay out of it. you don't want to get involved don't talk to either of them. we have to take responsiblity for our own lives and our own self improvement, yes I know we have to look out for other Jews but this is not like you saw her stealing this is her personal business, just leave it.
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sunflower_seed




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 06 2011, 11:03 am
Maybe you can ask your Rav for advice? Without mentioning any names?
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