Giving Treif to a Jew

amother

Mon, Nov 13 2006, 7:55 pm

A family member of mine who is not frum sometimes asks me to babysit... and she is very careful to leave food for her kids-- it's usually cooked, in ziplocs or tin foil in the same place-- and I just have to heat it up. Problem is that since they're not frum, the food and kitchen are not kosher. Since I'm religious, she makes sure not to leave shrimp or chicken with cheese... or stuff like that-- and she thinks it's fine. But is still isn't kosher! There's like meat with no hashgacha!!! I absolutely hate heating up the food and giving it to the kids, and I've tried things like taking them to (kosher) restaurants or bringing them food-- which has worked occasionally, but in general, she's really particular about what her kids eat, and she wants to cook everything and leave portions, etc. So, my question is whether or not I'm halachically allowed to heat up this food and put it in front of her kids...

Thanx!

sarahd

Tue, Nov 14 2006, 3:33 pm

I've never encountered this problem and I agree that you might want to ask your Rov for guidance. My first reaction would be that you're not allowed to serve treif food to Jewish children, but maybe the Rov has a different take.

Why can't you tell your cousin that you will happily babysit for her kids, and even them bring them kosher food to eat, but you can't feed them treif? You're doing her a favor by babysitting, so she ought to be willing to accommodate you.

HindaRochel

Tue, Nov 14 2006, 3:51 pm

First: Ask your Rav as soon as possible.
However:
about the only situation which is similar is the one with my mother and grandmother. She was in a Kosher nursing home but my mother felt the nursing home wasn't good for her and wanted to move her to a better facility. The Rabbi she asked (who was Orthdox t hough my mom is not, more conservadox) was told that she could move her if my grandmother wouldn't understand that the food was kosher. As my grandmother was senile at the time she couldn't understand so she was moved.

Do let us know what the answer was!

shoy18

Tue, Nov 14 2006, 4:06 pm

why dont you offer to make them dinner and ask her what she would serve them and make whatever it is, just plainly explain to her you dont feel comfortable heating up non-kosher food in your house

JRKmommy

Wed, Nov 15 2006, 11:58 am

Ask a rav, and let us know the answer.

The ages of the kids may make a difference.

Also, mention to the rav the part about her leaving it in portions that are already prepared, and not leaving obvious treif. While it obviously wouldn't be acceptable for you to eat it, I'm wondering (b/c I don't know the answer) if it would be okay to serve to her under-Bar/Bat mitzvah age children if it's not 100% obvious that the food would be treif.

My only other comment is that, obviously, if you find out that you can't serve the food, you need to be honest about that with your relative, and tell her exactly what would and wouldn't be okay. Don't just feed them something else behind her back!

Meema2Kids

Wed, Nov 15 2006, 12:02 pm

Doesn't this happen in frum preschools? My kids go to a Chabad preschool and all the kids bring their lunches. I know there are some families who don't keep kosher. The teachers unpack and set out the food for them.

Chani

Wed, Nov 15 2006, 12:20 pm

I'm really curious about the answer when you ask a rav...

I do remember hearing in a shiur about the situation where someone's mother asks him to bring in the groceries, and the mother doesn't keep kosher, so one is schlepping in treif food...the answer was that if the mother could do it for herself, then you can do it for her b/c she's going to have the groceries in the house one way or another. (I think this was Rabbi Berkovics at Aish Hatorah, btw, on one of his tapes, who said this as I recall). But there's the whole issue of kibud av in that example which isn't present here. Also, a child may be different b/c a child really can't get the food on his or her own... So, interesting question and I'm looking forward to seeing the answer.

MatzosMama

Tue, Dec 05 2006, 6:13 pm

Is it possiable to ask the mom to have the kids fed prior to your arrival? And then if they are hungry after a bit, have a snack that you are comfrontable serving? Like fruit or veggies? This might be benifical to the both of you. She will know that her kids are having a healthy snack and you will not have to serve anything that is not Kosher.
Please let us know what happened. Smile