Buy a Winter Coat for my Cleaning Lady - Weird or Not?

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Forum -> Relationships -> Giving Gifts

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amother

Tue, Jan 17 2012, 12:31 pm

I just discovered my cleaning lady does not have a winter coat - all she has is a jean jacket. We live in Chicago!!! I don't want to over step her boundaries but I was thinking of getting her a winter coat - nothing expensive (there is a sale at lands end). I can give it to her as a belated x-mas gift. What are your thoughts? Is this inappropriate?

Isramom8

Tue, Jan 17 2012, 12:33 pm

I think it's nice. But ask her what she wants - maybe view the options with her? If she is very uncomfortable, don't order one.

amother

Tue, Jan 17 2012, 12:36 pm

I think if I asked her she would say no, but if I just gave it to her she might accept it. I don't want to make her uncomfortable. She hasn't worked for me for very long so I only gave her a small new years gift, though she happens to be phenomenal. but the thought of her in the cold in chicago wiht only a jean jacket makes me very worried.

Lalu

Tue, Jan 17 2012, 4:25 pm

I think that it is a wonderful, wonderful idea. I am sure that she will appreciate it and you. Good for you - so often we see others needs but do not respond. I agree- I would purchase her the coat, as if you asked she would most likely so 'no'. I admire you.

newatthis

Tue, Jan 17 2012, 4:29 pm

purchase the coat, give her the gift receipt with it

bz246

Tue, Jan 17 2012, 4:30 pm

WOW...thats really thoughtfull of you.im sure shell appreciate it although she might feel a bit uncompfortable..a real kiddush hashem!!!do it!!

bwaybabe85

Tue, Jan 17 2012, 4:37 pm

I think that's a wonderful, caring idea. I'm sure she'll appreciate it immensely.

ora_43

Tue, Jan 17 2012, 5:12 pm

I think it's a nice idea, but it could be hurtful for her if you're openly giving it as charity.

I like your idea of giving it as a belated xmas gift. You could also tell her that you got it for someone else (a sister, your friend, yourself, etc), or that someone got it for you, but it didn't fit and can't be returned and would she be able to use it? (the latter approach risks leaving her with something she doesn't like and can't trade, but IMHO it's better that than to risk making her feel like a pity case)

AlwaysGrateful

Tue, Jan 17 2012, 5:13 pm

Good for you. Go ahead -- just give her the gift receipt, and maybe make sure that the store is somewhere that she can get to easily by public transportation or is near her home. Otherwise, she wouldn't be able to exchange it even if she wanted to. And specify that you won't mind if she exchanges it for another one.

Even if you do none of this (because you don't feel comfortable) and just give her a coat, good for you for helping her like this!

Raisin

Tue, Jan 17 2012, 5:17 pm

if she really needs a coat, and you give her a gift receipt she might be tempted to exchange it for something else, like clothes for her kids.

I would give it to her without the receipt. make up a story about an unwanted present and it's too late to rturn or whatever.

ra_mom

Tue, Jan 17 2012, 6:01 pm

I think it's wonderful.
And I also think you should fudge the bit about you actually buying it for her. Tell her you got it from someone, and ask her if she'd like it.

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