Having debate about buying a house

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amother

Wed, Nov 22 2006, 10:52 am

Hi everyone! I am having a major problem, about buying a house. We recently went to look at a house that was priced close to a million dollars. I only went to look at the house to make my hubby happy, not because I wanted to buy the house. My situation is, that I recently started working (and that is also to make my husband happy) because money was very tight, and my hubby's wish is for me to be a working mother. As much as he argued with me that I should go to work, I still wanted to be a stay at home mom, and take care of all house work, and be a mother to my two kids. I gave in and went to work. It actually turned out good, because I enjoy going to work. The only part that is hard is in the morning when I have to get ready with the kids, supper, and straightening up the house, and at night whem I come home from work- (work full time) supper time, bathing.. bedtime.. etc... Now my hubby wants to buy a house and I am not so excited about it. It is causing us some major arguments which I don't have patience to deal with. I disagree with him, because I feel that we are not ready to buy a house and jump into extra expenses and pressure. He wants me to pay from my paycheck towards the house and I don't want, because I told him that when I started working, my money will go strictly on things that we need, meaning we should be able to afford things without being so tight. (when I didn't work, we weren't able to afford anything. Not even food, clothing and shoes for the kids, and ourself. We were living a very poor lifestyle and I am not ready to live this lifestyle again. Therefore I don't think buying a house now is a good idea. My husband thinks that I am selfish and I don't care about him. This is so not true as I want him to dress and look like a mentch! You should see how he looks. He doesn't afford himself anything. I want to buy him new shoes, glasses, coat, etc. from my money. He doesn't want. He would rather go with his old stuff, he doesn't care, as long as he has a house.
What is it that all young men today have the pressure of buying a house so fast. We are only married for a few years and we have time for that. Why do we need a house now, and have all that pressure? I have time for that in a few years from now.

A very worried mom and wife

mimsy7420

Wed, Nov 22 2006, 11:00 am

Besides for the extra expenses and financial pressure a house brings - it also brings a ton more cleaning!

So tell your hubby unless you can fit a cleaning lady into the budget with a house and all the extras- forget about it!

MommyLuv

Wed, Nov 22 2006, 11:02 am

Owning a home is the best investment you'll ever make, BUT, you have to know what it entails...

I suggest you contact a financial planner or consultant or real estate professional who can sit down with you and DH and talk about the pros and cons and see if buying a home makes sense in your specific financial situation.

My own 2 cents? Try to buy a home that is affordable and reasonably priced. (Not one with the price tag close to a million dollars, unless you can comfortably afford very high mortgage payments.)

Renting a house or apt. is like paying for a long-term hotel room. At the end, you have nothing for all those years of paying rent. If you can at all do it, I think it's crucial to buy a place to call your own.

Personally, I would rather live simply on a tighter budget as a homeowner than have a high-end lifestyle wasting money on rent.
You might feel differently though.

JMto2

Wed, Nov 22 2006, 11:10 am

My husband always is saying that guy bought a house so can we. But the truth is a lot of people that buy a house struggle big time afterwards I rather rent a live like a mentch. I would sit down with your husband pen a paper write exactly what you both earn a month take off the monthly expenses and then see what you are left with then add to that high electric bills
a big mortgage figure with taxes a $500,000 house is around $4,500 a month with not much down
maintenance to keeping the house up
in case things break backup money
remember when you rent some of the problems the landlord pays for and the utility bills are smaller since the house is smaller and then see if you can even afford half of it or rather live a normal life.
My husband did eventually see the reasoning as to why not buy a house and now we want to rent forever got provides your husband might say but that goes with working hard and doing your hishtadlus not buying a house and going deep into the debt line that is not a smart choice. and keep in mind if you plan on having more kids each kid costs more money.

chocolate moose

Wed, Nov 22 2006, 11:15 am

If you get a big family, willl you always have to work full time? That's not easy.

Maybe you should sit with a broker or financial planner and see what you really can afford. If you're young, you're bound to make more as the years go on.

amother

Wed, Nov 22 2006, 11:28 am

I am original amother posting.

My hubby and I sat down already to discuss all cheshbonos... we came to an amount that after all taxes and expenses we will stay with $1300 a month.. and that will have to cover tuition, food and daily expenses. mortgage will be about $6000. which 1/2 of that the tenants of this house will pay and half us.. I don't know about you all, but I cannot live on $1300 a month. I need a cleaning lady, because I don't have too much time to clean erev shabbos (because I work) this alone is about $100-110 a month) then tuition is $180 a month . food.. etc.. I am just trying to bring out that $1300 a month which is $325 a week is too little for a family of 2 kids.

would appreciate more advice on how to handle this situation.
Thanks,
original a mother

chocolate moose

Wed, Nov 22 2006, 11:31 am

Don't forget that with owning a home you will have heating, taxes, and repairs.

A bank will not give a mortgage based on a tenant. You have to be able to afford that on your own.

Perhaps a million dollar home is not for you right now! What's wrong with an apartment, at least to start!

ima2girls

Wed, Nov 22 2006, 11:35 am

my point of view is to just rent. I am happy right now where I am without buying a house.. Lately the young men out there are so houseminded.. it is ridiculous!

original a mother

mimsy7420

Wed, Nov 22 2006, 11:41 am

what about a cheaper house?
I mean, it definitely is smarter then renting, financially - but only if you can afford it!!! You can't afford it if it leaves you with only 1300$ a month. That's crazy.
There is a formula for how you spend your income - I can't remember it exactly - but it something like 1/3 for housing 1/3 for food - or something like that. I will ask my FIL.
Anything else is just a recipe for disaster and debt.

JMto2

Wed, Nov 22 2006, 11:45 am

Well I would take that $1300 and tell your husband how much food cost clothing etc for two children tuition goes up yearly. why not approach him differently hold out in the apartment you are in and see how much you can save within the next year and make that a focus when you buy things and spend money not using CC. And if you have a large down payment you will pay less monthly on a mortgage which is a goal. I would tell you not to jump into it at all.

Mitzvahmom

Wed, Nov 22 2006, 11:51 am

yeah I have fun going over my finances, because majority of funds go to my housing and barely enough left for bills and food..

Definately u have to sit down and budget

shanie5

Wed, Nov 22 2006, 1:06 pm

owning a house is great, but wihat will happen when......

-the bathroom plumbing breaks and you need to redo the entire plumbing

-roof needs replacing or repairing

-boiler breaks

-house needs painting-inside or outside

-squirrels in the attic

-termites

if you can handle these sorts of problems then ok, but if not, think hard. as others said, tuitions go up, expenses go up (little kids little expenses, big kids, big expenses), family grows.etc........

MommyLuv

Wed, Nov 22 2006, 1:11 pm

Is buying a cheaper, smaller "starter home" a possibility?

Spending most of your income on mortgage is not a good idea Confused

HealthCoach

Wed, Nov 22 2006, 1:33 pm

It seems like you would be better off with either a smaller house, or waiting until you can afford better. I think that you should think about what you can get with $1300/month and what your expenses will be in the years to come. I spend more than $1300 a month in tuition for 2 kids. You should draw a clear picture in your mind about how your life will be with this house. Then try to get your dh to see the same picture. I know someone that used to want all their money to go into their house. It was the only thing they cared about. They did not care about clothes, cars, or anything else that costed money. As the years went by, the person changed, and did care about all the things that others care about. Ask your dh what will happen if he changes his mind about these things too? If prices come down once you buy this house, you will be stuck.

S.Shcwartz

Wed, Nov 22 2006, 1:46 pm

I understand your husband. He's probably thinking this way: I'm working and most of the money (or a very big part of it) is going for 'someone else's' mortgage (your landlord's) why shouldn't MY money go to MY house?! Now, there is such a thing as owning your own home and your monthly payments not being as much as your rent but you must give up some things. Like WHERE to buy, size of the home, number of tenants etc. One more thing, all those problems these pple are listing, can mostly be solved by buying something new. Not an easy to find option. Good Luck.

ShiraMiri

Wed, Nov 22 2006, 2:35 pm

My opinion is if you can afford to buy a house, even barely, do it now. A home is an investment, and property values are only increasing. In a few years, you might not be able to afford that very same house you looked at because is could be twice the price, while your income has remained nearly the same as now. I think it is always better to own than to rent, not to mention the tax write-offs you get.

chocolate moose

Wed, Nov 22 2006, 3:24 pm

You don’t want to get yourself in the situation that the other ImaMother on this board is in, do you? That she can’t afford her house? You should get professional financial help, to decide.

Tovah

Wed, Nov 22 2006, 3:51 pm

I think now is a good time for u to buy because u have 2 children and not high tuition bills the longer u wait the more expensees u willhave. but u can get a cheaper house u know.

amother

Wed, Nov 22 2006, 6:45 pm

6,000 a month for a million dollar house sounds incredible, unless you have well over $100,000 to put down. Also, utilities will probably average 800- 1,000 a month for a large house, esp during the winter months (if this applies to you). And for how long will $180 a month for tuition last?

It sounds like you will most definitely be "house poor" with this house. A cheaper house will be a good investment, and you won't feel so tight. What is the great advantage of this particular house? IYH you will have many years to "upgrade".

lubcoralsprings

Wed, Nov 22 2006, 6:50 pm

amother wrote:

tuition is $180 a month . food.. etc..

Do you send your kids to PUBLIC SCHOOL????? I'd love to know what kind of Jewish school only charges that price??

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