Sheital that looks exactly like my hair.

amother

Mon, Jan 23 2012, 12:43 am

Today, I went to leave my house with my husband. He asked me if I was forgetting something. He mentioned I needed something on my head. LOL, I was wearing my sheital. I have "fooled" my kids before.

I am curious about wearing a sheital that looks so much like me not wearing a sheital. What is the point? Am I supposed to wear a not natural looking sheital? Many people spend a lot more on sheitals then I do. I just can style them better.

I would like some feedback. Has anyone else had this issue?

amother

Mon, Jan 23 2012, 1:00 am

TranquilityAndPeace wrote:

Are you wearing a fall? Are you pulling out a bit of hair in the front? I think lots of sheitels can look very natural, but the hairline always gives them away. But if the hairline is natural, then I can be fooled.

The point: Hair is sensual. No man has a desire to run his hand through a woman's sheitel, even a $3,000 sheitel.

All my hair is completely covered.

If no one can tell I am wearing a sheital then is the sheital then sensual?

It seems a bit strange to me to cover my hair to only have it look like my own hair. OTOH, to deliberately wear an ugly sheital does not appear to me.

amother

Tue, Jan 24 2012, 12:54 am

amother wrote:

Can you post exactly how you style it? I would love for my shaitel to look more natural! Does it have bangs?

LOL

I have no idea how to post it. What would be really funny would be if I could post my license which was taken before I got married and then the picture of me in my sheital.

It does have bangs. I have the sides pulled back like I do on my license.

It is strange to go through the trouble of wearing a sheital to look exactly like I do in my hair. OTOH, to deliberately not look natural is strange.

Chloe

Tue, Jan 24 2012, 4:15 am

TranquilityAndPeace wrote:

But with todays sheitels he wouldn't always know unless he first runs his hands through it.

3 little 1s

Tue, Jan 24 2012, 6:17 am

A shietal should look different to your hair (as it was when you were a girl) but there is no reason for it not to look nice, unless the only way you feel it looks nice is not so tznius (very long flowey etc).

Why dont you get a different style. Like a short one or one without bangs? Also I agree the front of a shietal usually gives it away... and that doesnt mean it has to look bad, just different!

Its a shame people may think you are not covering their hair, it depends how you feel about it... if you would not feel comfortable any other way, better that you cover and if you see people looking at you shietal...tell them. Say, ''oh, is my shietal ok?'' Wink

yo'ma

Tue, Jan 24 2012, 8:13 am

My mo cousin told me a story that happened by my nephews bar mitzva. My mother and her were talking and this woman who didn't know my cousin was walking around them and kept on staring at my cousins head. My mother told her that the woman is checking out your sheital, which she doesn't wear. My cousin tugged her hair in the front like you would do with a sheital to confuse her even more Smile

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Sometimes even when a person doesn't wear a sheital, someone might think you are Confused

TranquilityAndPeace

Tue, Jan 24 2012, 8:48 am

amother wrote:

Can you post exactly how you style it? I would love for my shaitel to look more natural! Does it have bangs?

I wonder if it REALLY looks so natural, if it has bangs, or if just you and your DH think so?

I *think* I can always see what's a sheitel and what isn't in a nanosecond, if it has bangs. If it's a fall, then I might be stumped here and there.

Do you want to show me how to do my sheitel to make the front more natural looking? I think the front looks great right after I pick it up from a wash and set, but over the next few weeks, it starts looking more and more sheitely, and I don't know how to fix it without giving it in to be redone!

And I agree with Shlomitsmom; if it really is bothering you, change it up a tiny bit so you feel right about it.

imaima

Tue, Jan 24 2012, 8:56 am

3 little 1s wrote:

Why should it be different???

The mitzva is to have your hair covered. With whatever your derech allows. If your derech allows a sheitel, then you can cover with a sheitel. The hair covering is for the woman, not for everyone else. The issue of maaris ayin does not involve hair covering. You are not supposed to look uglier, or prettier or different. You are supposed to have your hair covered - and you fulfill that. That is the point of it. It's no one else's business.

MamaBear

Tue, Jan 24 2012, 9:54 am

I have a bunch of diff. sheitels after so many yrs and one of them is the same exact texture of my hair and same haircut. (chin length and layered whereas my other ones are longer). So sometimes dh doesn't realize I'm wearing it but that's for a few reasons. One is that he is male. The other is that although it's actually my wiggiest sheitel (the hairline no longer looks good) the color, texture and hairstyle make it look very much like my own hair so to dh he can barely tell unless he's looking closely. Which he never does b/c now you must refer to the first reason: he's male.

All frum women can tell my sheitels are sheitels (men are generally clueless). The only time someone ever questioned it was literally the first 5 minutes after I put one on, straight from getting it washed and blown. So it looked amazing til a half hr later. Then no one did any double takes.

amother

Tue, Jan 24 2012, 9:56 am

3 little 1s wrote:

I end up pulling the sides back when I work because they flop down and get in my way, I have been doing the same thing for years with my hair. I don't cover my hair at home and I do the same. The bangs don't bother me as they are not in my line of vision.

I do have different sheitals with different cuts.

amother

Tue, Jan 24 2012, 10:45 am

TranquilityAndPeace wrote:

amother wrote:

Can you post exactly how you style it? I would love for my shaitel to look more natural! Does it have bangs?

My sheital "fooled" some non jewish co-workers also. After I was married, I had a meeting. The goys were saying that heard that I shaved my hair and wore a wig. I was laughing and explained that I don't shave and I am wearing a wig.

What tools are you using to keep up your sheital? Are you putting rollers in at night?

Can you send a picture of your sheital next time you do it on your wig head? I can give it some thought. Since we know your dress, arrangements, booze, schnitzel, magazine write-up, rules, brownies bites, cookies, MMs, etc, you might feel it is tmi. Very Happy

How about you just describe it?

[BTW, I give you so much credit for being so open. I could never do it.]

mizle10

Tue, Jan 24 2012, 10:53 am

amother wrote:

TranquilityAndPeace wrote:

amother wrote:

Can you post exactly how you style it? I would love for my shaitel to look more natural! Does it have bangs?

How about you just describe it?

[BTW, I give you so much credit for being so open. I could never do it.]

It doesn't take much to fool a [gentile]. They aren't used to sheitels and don't know the tell-tale signs. It's much harder to fool a jewish long time sheitel wearer.

amother

Tue, Jan 24 2012, 11:00 am

imaima wrote:

3 little 1s wrote:

I like what you say. I know technically I am in compliance with the letter of the law.