Carpooling dilemma

amother

Sat, Feb 04 2012, 9:24 pm

DS goes to school in another city. Its a 2 hour drive. There is another boy where we live who goes to the same yeshiva. We usually carpool for off shabbosim. We also agreed that if we found a ride for one of the boys, we find a ride for both of them. Many times they get a ride with a bochur who learns near them and has a car.

Now here is the specific situation. My ds had to come home for a dr. appt. I made the appt for Friday so he wouldn't miss too much yeshiva and would be home for shabbos. I told the other boys father that my ds was coming home and if they wanted to send anything to their ds to let us know. And I was not sure how or when ds was getting back to yeshiva. The father told me he would like for his ds to come home, but the rosh yeshiva insists that he be back for shacharis sunday morning. As my sons appt was due to an injury received in yeshiva, I felt no obligation to kill myself to get him back by that time.

After my ds left on thursday, the RY called my DH and said that our DS had to be back sunday for shacharis. (I still felt no obligation, but did understand the RY). We were still not sure what we were going to do. The RY told this other boy that my son had to be back sunday for shacharis, so he got a ride home for shabbos (with parental knowledge), assuming that he would go back with my ds. The boys father called my dh and said s/t about sharing the cost of a driver to return the boys. But they brought their son home w/o any confirmation on our part of how or when ds was getting back.

Over shabbos, we found ds a ride with room for one person only. But it was leaving a bit too early for ds (and I felt guilty about the other boy so I didnt push the case which I easily could have). We decided that dh would take ds early sunday morning-leaving at 6am. And ds-who has a recent permit would get to drive. We told the other boy about the ride. (He said he called and they said they had no room/not sure what happened there as I told the ride I was givin the other boy the info and they said 'fine'). Also, the boys parents won't let him go if my ds drives. (In all honesty, I would not let if the situation was reversed).

So...............Should I say "too bad, ds is driving-your loss" or give in and have dh drive them both. Normally, there wouldn't be a question as we agreed on carpool rules at the beginning of the year. But we were not planning on carpooling at all this time.