Which things will you do or not do on the bus?

33055

Mon, Feb 06 2012, 2:49 am

I have had ladies do all those things in my car during the same time frame.

I am so different from those around me. I never plan to eat or feed in a vehicle. I don't have phone conversations when others are present unless it is a clear emergency. I am always worried about others. When I was nursing, I always took care of this before I made an excursion and I had twins. I don't think even one time did I ever nurse while in motion.

Seraph

Mon, Feb 06 2012, 4:06 am

Part of the reason I ask this is I try to do all these before I get onto the bus, but sometimes there isn't time or it isn't a possibility. Like if my baby is asleep, I'm not going to wake her up to feed her before I get onto the bus, or if I am rushing out the door I'm not going to feed my kids lunch before and miss the bus so that they are able to eat... and if my kid poops right before the bus is about to arrive, or on the bus, and keeping her in it will give her a rash/make her very uncomfortable and cry... (For the record, I've never changed a baby's diaper on a bus, but I've always wondered what to do...
And for all those who say "do this before you get on the bus", my very proper husband thinks doing any of these even while waiting at the bus stop for the bus or any place in public is a problem, like he doesn't want me eating or feeding the kids in any waiting room, at a bus stop, etc... only in a secluded place or at a restaurant, so I was wondering about that. (I'm not talking about tuna or other smelly foods. I took a bite of fried rice to eat when I was at a doctor's office, and my husband and I were the only ones there other than a security guard, the security guard started flipping out that its inappropriate for me to eat there, it's not a restaurant- and my husband agreed with him, that its not proper to eat in a waiting room, so when we went to the bus stop to wait for the bus and I took out my food to eat, he again said its not appropriate to eat there, and on the bus not, etc...)
He and I have very different opinions about what is appropriate or not in public, and since the bus is the most public place I can think, especially since you cant just leave and go someplace else to do what you need to do, I am asking...

Oh, and the other day I was having a conversation with someone on the bus, and at the end of the bus ride, another lady said "What you were talking about was very interesting, but it disturbed me- I wanted to be able to daven on the bus but because you were talking, I couldn't." I didn't care that she overhead me- I don't say anything private in public- anything I say in public is something I stand behind and don't mind people overhearing, but she said it wasn't that the subject matter wasnt interesting, I just shouldnt be talking on the bus...

RachelEve14

Mon, Feb 06 2012, 5:34 am

I think you should be able to feed your kids lunch before the bus comes. Unless you decide at the last minute, they are old enough to be fed a bit before. I would give my kids something like pita and chummos if I had to (no crumbs), but it wouldn't be a first choice by far. I would not give them rice or anything they could spill / make a mess of on the bus.

Feeding the baby I would not wake her up just to feed, I see no issue with nursing discretely on the bus.

If you disturbed another's davaning I don't really think it's your issue, it's not a shul, it's a bus. If she couldn't get up / get out early enough / whatever to davan before she got on the bus it's not your issue.

Also there is a big difference between a 40 minute bus ride and a 2 hour one. Unless you suddenly needed to catch a bus for some type of emergency there is no reason not to have yourself / your older kids fed before going out. They can wait the hour it takes to wait for the bus and get off it.

chanchy123

Mon, Feb 06 2012, 7:00 am

RachelEve14 wrote:

I always bring my kids a small snack when we take the bus, to help them sit quietly without bothering the other passengers. I would notgive them anything out of a container, but a fruit, or some cookies for sure.
We don't travel by bus that often, but I think keeping them from shouting, kicking and crying is more important than keeping the bus clean. There is nothing worse than traveling on a bus (plane whatever) with kids who are being rude and loud without the parents even trying to deal with the situation.

EDIT to add that I would not give anything out of a container.

Last edited by chanchy123 on Mon, Feb 06 2012, 7:14 am; edited 1 time in total

RachelEve14

Mon, Feb 06 2012, 7:11 am

chanchy123 wrote:

I always bring my kids a small snack when we take the bus, to help them sit quietly without bothering the other passengers. I would give them anything out of a container, but a fruit, or some cookies for sure.
We don't travel by bus that often, but I think keeping them from shouting, kicking and crying is more important than keeping the bus clean. There is nothing worse than traveling on a bus (plane whatever) with kids who are being rude and loud without the parents even trying to deal with the situation.

I would also give my kids fruit (well maybe not squirty citrus fruit...), cookies, bamba, something like that on the bus if it was a longer ride. But OP asked about lunch which to me is not a cookie and a few grapes to keep a child quiet. It also depends on the age of the child. Avraham Tzvi is almost 4 and I would certainly expect him to be able to sit for an hour on a bus without kicking, screaming, having a fit, etc. if he was fed and went to the bathroom before.

33055

Mon, Feb 06 2012, 7:13 am

chanchy123 wrote:

RachelEve14 wrote:

But why aren't you responsible for keeping the bus clean from the mess your kids make? There should be respect for the next passenger. I don't let my kids leave a mess anywhere. It is not a choice of a public mess or well behaved kids. Do your kids eat the entire 40 minutes?

freidasima

Mon, Feb 06 2012, 7:41 am

In a sense I echo what Liba writes. There is a big difference between giving a very cranky child who is hungry a dried apricot to chew on, and giving someone anything that can spill, crumble, has a smell etc. Same goes for giving them raisins. One by one so that they don't make a mess.

That having been said, I still find it amazing this business here in EY about continuous feed and drink. Mayleh in the hot summer to have a small bottle of water with one to drink from, but the feeling that to go across town one has to supply kids with a package of cookies, bamba, a bottle of drink, maybe a sandwitch or two and some fruit? Gevalt. In our house one didn't eat between meals, not even little kids. There was breakfast and lunch and dinner and that was that. Sometimes a snack when one got home from school, a glass to drink and a fruit or a piece of cake. But more than that? What is this continuous feed? Kids in shul should be davening not eating otherwise don't bring them to shul. You don't have to be there, you are a woman they don't need you for a minyan. If one wants the chinuch then bring them for half an hour and then take them home until they are able to stay for longer. One has continuous babies? Then one continuously doesn't go to shul for twenty years. So? The minyan will be shot if you don't show up? You are the tzenter maybe?

It all depends on chinuch. Teach your kids, even from age two or so, that there is acceptable and unacceptable behavior? They will learn. Boys and girls. Especially if they see you doing it. Other kids dont? Then teach them that "their family is special". They may not like it but it will teach them good manners. Otherwise they turn out very often a bit "vilde chayah'y" in this country without that kind of education. It doesn't mean to make them wimps, but at least when they will be with YOU they will act properly, and at a young age? That's a good deal of the time that they are with YOU.

abound

Mon, Feb 06 2012, 7:46 am

freidasima wrote:

Seraph

Mon, Feb 06 2012, 9:23 am

I'll be honest, I'm a very last minute person, so I usually don't have food ready to eat until right before we leave, which is why we often end up eating lunch when waiting for the bus, and if the bus comes sooner, on the bus. (Keep in mind that because we're gluten free I can't just make them a quick sandwich.)
And yes, I do give things from a container, like rice, but my kids don't feed themselves when we do that- I give them one spoonful at a time, directly into their mouth, so it doesn't make a mess at all. I don't do things on a bus that would make a mess- it irritates me so much when people do...
And if I'm going to be spending my time outside, not at any specific person's house, no mater where I'd feed them, it would be in public, so waiting till we get off the bus doesn't solve the "don't eat in public" issue.

DrMom

Mon, Feb 06 2012, 9:27 am

freidasima wrote:

Agreed. Sometimes I think kids here should have feedbags of bamba strapped to their faces. Less trouble for their parents.

grace413

Mon, Feb 06 2012, 9:47 am

Seraph wrote:

I was at a doctor's office, and my husband and I were the only ones there other than a security guard, the security guard started flipping out that its inappropriate for me to eat there, it's not a restaurant-

Oh, and the other day I was having a conversation with someone on the bus, and at the end of the bus ride, another lady said "What you were talking about was very interesting, but it disturbed me- I wanted to be able to daven on the bus but because you were talking, I couldn't." I didn't care that she overhead me- I don't say anything private in public- anything I say in public is something I stand behind and don't mind people overhearing, but she said it wasn't that the subject matter wasnt interesting, I just shouldnt be talking on the bus...

My doctor has a sign in his waiting room asking people not to eat.

I don't see why another woman's desire to daven on the bus (which I personally think is a bad idea anyway) trumps your desire to have a conversation. A bus is not a shul or a no-talking zone.

Seraph

Mon, Feb 06 2012, 10:18 am

grace413 wrote:

Seraph wrote:

My doctor has a sign in his waiting room asking people not to eat.

And in the absence of such a sign?

Quote:

I don't see why another woman's desire to daven on the bus (which I personally think is a bad idea anyway) trumps your desire to have a conversation. A bus is not a shul or a no-talking zone.

Granted, I wasn't talking quietly. I was talking in my regular indoor voice. But I did ask the lady across the aisle to scoot one seat closer so I could talk quieter...