Which things will you do or not do on the bus?

freidasima

Mon, Feb 06 2012, 1:28 pm

Leesah with people like that I simply ask directly "why are you staring at me".

Seraph even if you are gluten free it is no problem to bake gluten free rolls for your kids to eat and it's a lot easier than rice. Or you can make non sweetened buckwheat cake which is like bread for them using only eggs, buckwheat, rice milk, baking powder and applesauce. It has no smell, they can eat it on their own, if they want something sweet on it, you can make homemade date spread and put that between two pieces of it and believe me, I've never seen a kid turn it down, it's sweet, delicious, gluten free and 100% natural. If you won't use rice milk you can use diluted homamade apple juice and it can be made 100% organic.

It also pays to be organized in advance and not feed your kids on the street or in a bus. Chazal speak about things like that. There is a place for everything and one eats at home or at a table, not "on the hoof" so to speak. It's not particularly good mannered to get them used to it. It's VERY "Israeli" and considered quite "prost" in the rest of the world to just eat wherever one finds the need to with no discipline at all in terms of place.

HindaRochel

Mon, Feb 06 2012, 1:45 pm

Containers of food I wouldn't do, but eat something light? Pretzels or whatever? It often helped when the kid were nauseous. As long as they are neat and clean about it, don't litter etc. The littering is what is problematic to me.

GUM popping...rather the person would eat quite frankly.

I can't see a snack as being out of the ordinary.

Or talking. Certainly I nursed my kids when they were hungry.

Someone wants to daven on the bus? Fine, but that's their problem, not yours. I would sit quietly next to them if they were davening/saying Tehillim. I avoided making a phone call because a woman was davening, but a person can't ask the whole bus to be quiet because they didn't daven at home.

Seraph

Mon, Feb 06 2012, 2:52 pm

freidasima wrote:

Gluten free flours are a FORTUNE! I try not to make gf bread bec its a fortune, and tastes gross when its not fresh out of the oven... Where do you get buckwheat flour from?

Quote:

It also pays to be organized in advance and not feed your kids on the street or in a bus. Chazal speak about things like that.

The gemara talks about eating bread in public. Mezonos doesn't count, let alone haadama or shehakol of gf stuff.

Quote:

There is a place for everything and one eats at home or at a table, not "on the hoof" so to speak. It's not particularly good mannered to get them used to it. It's VERY "Israeli" and considered quite "prost" in the rest of the world to just eat wherever one finds the need to with no discipline at all in terms of place.

Because I don't have a car I am often out for hours at a time, sometimes from 10 am until 6 or 7 pm. Where exactly are my kids and I supposed to eat that isnt in public?

AlwaysGrateful

Mon, Feb 06 2012, 3:29 pm

Seraph wrote:

Nurse an infant No, but I don't NIP.
Nurse a toddler
Change a baby's diaper Not unless I was worried about the baby getting a rash. Even then, I'd really feel badly doing it.
Eat lunch
Feed your kids lunch Sure.
Make an important phone conversation Yes, assuming that it is about something that I don't mind other people hearing.
Make a shmoozy phone conversaton Honestly, yes. I would try to keep my voice down. But I don't see why everyone is so upset about other people hearing things that they say. I would just not talk about those things.
Talk louder than a whisper I agree with the poster who said to use "inside voices." Not whispers, just regular non-loud talking voices.
Have a long conversation with someone across the aisle from you (so you have to speak louder than a whisper) Same.

freidasima

Mon, Feb 06 2012, 3:45 pm

Well I was always taught that one of the differences between Jews and non jews was that Jews (frum that is) don't eat in public and non jews do. When I was growing up and where I was growing up there was no kosher "fast food" and the only pizza/falafel in the area pretty much insisted that one either take away (home) or sit there and eat.

My teachers also emphasized that a yid does not walk around eating outside, that is prost, non jewish behavior. Same for parents feeding children in public. One found a place inside with a table and that was that.

Seraph are you actually out with your children from 10 AM until 6 PM often with no breaks indoors? A break means going to someone's home. If so then that is a place to eat, to feed, to change diapers etc. Kind of hard to fathom someone being out of the house constantly with small children on public transportation for eight hours a day straight over and over, with no breaks anywhere with a lunchroom, a table and chair setup etc. Somehow that doesn't sound too organized or scheduled either and really little kids often need a nap or a rest period during the day...food is the least of it. In any case I still feel strongly that there is "private behavior" and "public behavior". Feeding, diapering, eating, and shmoozing are not public behavior where I come from, but private. Same goes for noisy or personal conversations or actually any phone conversations which are supposed to be for two people and without a large unwanted audience. The idea of making so much noise in a public space is really not polite behavior in my book and the fact that a bunch of non jews in America or whatever act that way just reinforces that "We" do not act like that.

Tamiri

Mon, Feb 06 2012, 3:56 pm

Last night we took the bus (very rare occasion for DH and myself particularly together) and an eidel-looking man with a beard and kippa sruga got on and sat across from us. It was ~7:30 pm. I saw him take out a bag which was tied in a knot, open the bag carefully, and take out a peeled orange. I had a very warm and comfortable feeling seeing him eating that orange, which may or may not have been packed by his wife that morning. I thought that if his wife packed it, she showed love in hat that her DH would have something to eat on the long ride home (this was the Tel Aviv to Ariel bus and he may have continued to a yishuv). He made a bracha and ate quietly and a little while later took out another bag with another orange, and ate that one as well.
I was very happy he had something to take care of his hunger so that he wouldn't be starving as he came home after what was, no doubt. a long day of work.
Just saying. Done properly, there is nothing wrong with a little snack on the bus.

mommyhood

Mon, Feb 06 2012, 4:20 pm

Seraph wrote:

Part of the reason I ask this is I try to do all these before I get onto the bus, but sometimes there isn't time or it isn't a possibility. Like if my baby is asleep, I'm not going to wake her up to feed her before I get onto the bus, or if I am rushing out the door I'm not going to feed my kids lunch before and miss the bus so that they are able to eat... and if my kid poops right before the bus is about to arrive, or on the bus, and keeping her in it will give her a rash/make her very uncomfortable and cry... (For the record, I've never changed a baby's diaper on a bus, but I've always wondered what to do...
And for all those who say "do this before you get on the bus", my very proper husband thinks doing any of these even while waiting at the bus stop for the bus or any place in public is a problem, like he doesn't want me eating or feeding the kids in any waiting room, at a bus stop, etc... only in a secluded place or at a restaurant, so I was wondering about that. (I'm not talking about tuna or other smelly foods. I took a bite of fried rice to eat when I was at a doctor's office, and my husband and I were the only ones there other than a security guard, the security guard started flipping out that its inappropriate for me to eat there, it's not a restaurant- and my husband agreed with him, that its not proper to eat in a waiting room, so when we went to the bus stop to wait for the bus and I took out my food to eat, he again said its not appropriate to eat there, and on the bus not, etc...)
He and I have very different opinions about what is appropriate or not in public, and since the bus is the most public place I can think, especially since you cant just leave and go someplace else to do what you need to do, I am asking...

Oh, and the other day I was having a conversation with someone on the bus, and at the end of the bus ride, another lady said "What you were talking about was very interesting, but it disturbed me- I wanted to be able to daven on the bus but because you were talking, I couldn't." I didn't care that she overhead me- I don't say anything private in public- anything I say in public is something I stand behind and don't mind people overhearing, but she said it wasn't that the subject matter wasnt interesting, I just shouldnt be talking on the bus...

I think talking on the bus really depends on the bus. I've found that some bus rides (early morning, long commutes) are totally silent the lights in the bus are off and there's a general acceptance that everyone is quiet in which case it would be rude to talk. But on shorter commutes, or buses during the day it's generally more kid friendly vs commuter friendly and talking in an indoor voice is accepted.
Personally, I would talk on a bus as long as I wasn't the only one talking. Meaning if I was taking a bus that's usually noisy but today it's really quiet I wouldn't want to be the one to break the silence.

Seraph

Mon, Feb 06 2012, 5:21 pm

freidasima wrote:

Seraph are you actually out with your children from 10 AM until 6 PM often with no breaks indoors? A break means going to someone's home. If so then that is a place to eat, to feed, to change diapers etc. Kind of hard to fathom someone being out of the house constantly with small children on public transportation for eight hours a day straight over and over, with no breaks anywhere with a lunchroom, a table and chair setup etc. Somehow that doesn't sound too organized or scheduled either and really little kids often need a nap or a rest period during the day...food is the least of it.

We must be living such different realities. Since me going to town means a 10 minute walk to the bus stop, a 40-60 minute bus ride to the city, and then possibly a bus within the city (often 20-30 mins), thats an hour and a half each way, or three hours traveling, so I get as much as I can done in one trip as possible so I don't need to come frequently.
I don't usually go to anyone's house in the city. Last time I was in town I actually did come to someone's house, but we couldn't eat there because we just popped in and out for 15 minutes as she was in a rush and we couldn't stay long. But yes, often I am out of the house with the kids either 6 or 8 hours. Last time, for example, we left the house at 10 and got home at 5:30. Usually though we're out from 12 until 6 or 7. And during that time, aside for the buses and train rides, we're in town running errands. The only places we go indoors are maybe the bank, stores, or the central bus station. The rest of the time we're outdoors. Yes, its tiring, which is why even my non nappers usually fall asleep on the bus either on the way there or the way back. And that's why we make these trips rarely- once a month or less...
But yea, in such a case, feeding them on the bus is actually most comfortable for me, because we're "indoors", and we're staying in one place for a set amount of time anyhow... I mean if its not something extra smelly like hot dogs or tuna or eggs, why is it worse to eat on the bus than to eat on a bench on the street, so long as you're ensuring that you don't make a mess?

Chana Miriam S

Mon, Feb 06 2012, 5:34 pm

Nurse an infant- 100%
Nurse a toddler- Depends on MY comfort level
Change a baby's diaper-Not poop if possible. But on a city bus would consider getting off to change it because it would stink whether you changed it or not.
Eat lunch- yes
Feed your kids lunch- yes
Make an important phone conversation- important probably not. necessary, yes.
Make a shmoozy phone conversaton- depends on how busy the bus was and how disturbing it would be to others.
Talk louder than a whisper- yes
Have a long conversation with someone across the aisle from you (so you have to speak louder than a whisper)- yes.

since when is whispering on a bus even something people think about? the buses I have been on are just too noisy.

Tablepoetry

Tue, Feb 07 2012, 1:38 am

I don't see anything wrong with eating on the bus. I wouldn't eat container food though - something 'off' about that - but perhaps I would think otherwise if I had dietary restrictions. Still, I think if I couldn't eat bread I'd eat fruit or a carrot or something.
I would feed my kids out of a container on a long bus ride, I guess, but I've never done it. Just snacks or sandwiches. Rice out of a container has a potential to get very messy, even if you feed them to their mouths. Also, it just seems like a real meal, and the bus seems more like a snack place to me.

I WOULDN'T take out a container and eat rice in a doctor's office. Sorry.
Something about container food just seems inappropriate for an adult in most situations, whereas eating an apple or sandwich on a bus bench is just fine IMO (if you are out for the day).

ewa-jo

Tue, Feb 07 2012, 3:44 am

Seraph wrote:

Why is container eating worse than eating a sandwich? (Especially since halacha says otherwise, that eating bread in public is akin to a dog and makes someone passul from eidus, but not rice or other container food.)

Container food is something that you prepared and planned out beforehand. A sandwich (or a boreka or a falafel) or another food that you hold in your hand is more likely to be something that you pick up on the way... more spontaneous.

If someone doesn't know your situation (that you're from out of town and are taking care of 5 errands that day) then it seems weird that you brought food to eat at the bank or doctor's office. But it seems more normal that your shopping took longer than you planned and you buy a coffee and pastry at the tachana mercazit and eat it while you're waiting for the bus.