is this normal boy behavior?

amother

Wed, Feb 22 2012, 9:53 pm

hi. ok so im posting here because I need to talk. my 5 yr old son is really the sweetest child. He has always been kind, soft, gentle, thoughtful....wise beyond his years knh.
My son is not rough and tough. He doesnt like to play wild. He doesnt like "bad guys." He doesnt have much interest in sports. Hes definatly more...girlyish? I dont want to label him. Hes amazing. In school they all made projects of pictures of people from the purim story. Every kid colored pictures of haman, achashvaros...he was the only one to do queen ester. I was almost upset at this. I said to him, how come you didnt want to color a boy like everyone else, he frankly said, I didnt want to. now I feel bad. I come from a family full of boys who are manly men. My husband as well. I guess I just want someone to tell me, hes normal. he'll be ok throughout his years. not bullied. thank you all.

amother

Thu, Feb 23 2012, 2:14 am

I wouldn't necessarily worry at this point. My DS used to ask me to buy him pink underwear. He's a normal boy, likes girls in the crush way (he's only 7). He's a gentle boy and sensitive, but can also be rough. Try to find a sport that is a boys spirt, like a Marshal art or baseball.

imamama

Thu, Feb 23 2012, 5:25 am

Let him be. Pushing him to be more like what you perceive as "boyish," no matter how gently is going to send him the message that the way he is now is not good, not good enough, or not acceptable. Support his interests, his hobbies, what he's good at. Build his confidence.

That said, my brother who is now 21, as a 4-5 year old, his absolute favorite activity was wearing my mothers shabbos robe, a beret and high heel shoes. He insisted on drinking out of only pink cups, and very solemnly informed the family at the Shabbos table that Hashem is pink. He's relatively normal now. And heterosexual, if that's what you are worried about.

In the kitchen

Thu, Feb 23 2012, 5:49 am

imamama wrote:

LOL that is adorable! Smile

OP I don't think there is anything to worry about.

Clarissa

Thu, Feb 23 2012, 8:26 am

My son has always been gentle, didn't like violent or aggressive play, never was any good in sports (and had very little interest, except he would play at recess and in gym) and has gotten along with girls as well as boys as friends his whole life. He's 13 and still hangs out in a mixed group, and gets along with both. I really believe he's straight -- we've discussed it, in fact. There's a whole range of personalities, and I'm a woman who's always had lots of male friends, and don't really go for manly men as friends, boyfriends and husbands. Enjoy your sweet kid.

Having an eye for beauty doesn't mean anything. My husband loves art, theater, opera, ballet. He's straight, believe me.

Nobody can predict what'll happen with their kids in terms of s*xuality, when they're little. At this point you should just be really proud you're raising such a sweetheart.

middy

Thu, Feb 23 2012, 9:15 am

My 16 year old son was so sweet and sensitive that when they learned about anyone getting hurt (I.e. the makkos) in school, he would cry. The teachers eventually gave him another activity to do during parsha if he felt it was too much for him.
Now BH he is graduating hs this year and is as "manly" as they come!!

I wouldn't worry about it. I think he will outgrow it.