should I keep selling my silver to MAKE ENDS MEET?

amother

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 8:52 am

to put it bluntly: our finances our bad right now! the kids don't have shoes for Pesach... I can barely get to the grocery with cash and not a check that I know will bounce... lots of unpaid bills...
anyway: we were lucky.. when we got married.. we received a lot of silver... you got much more for your money then and our parents' friends were very generous..
over the years, and especially in the last few trying months, we have sold a lot of our silver to make ends meet. Recently, our parents' who have caught on... have been hurt and very sad about it.. They cannot help us out and they totally understand that we are in straits but they're so emotional about it... (me.. I used to be emotional about it.. now I think it was Hashem's gift to us for a certain amount of time.. and now it's to help us get thru these times)
my question is.... I don't know how we will make it to Pesach this year without sellling more (theres not much left)... should I suck it up and hold on to them for nostalgia... or be realistic and sell them??

HindaRochel

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 9:45 am

amother wrote:

I would sell anything that isn't connected to family; ie that is an inheritance, rather than something new. However, aren't there any gemachim you can try?

amother

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 9:49 am

amother wrote:

OP, I totally hear your quandry. I am sort of in the same position as you. We actually did sell a whole bunch of our silver and gold for money and now we are even worse off and could really use the money from other silver pieces I still have. I have sometimes even thought about it. I can't tell you what to do, but at the end of the day, I know that when this hard time is over and I have extra money, I will be so upset that I sold something sentimental, even if it helped me pay rent or bills that month. You cant replace sentimental value. On the other hand, if you mamash can't put food on the table, then maybe you should. In the meantime, maybe you can borrow money from a gemach or look into government programs that could help you financially. Hopefully the tough times will be over soon...for all of us... myself included.

Liba

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 9:51 am

Do they kids need new shoes? Unless my kids shoes have holes in them or are too small they wait until I can afford to replace them, certainly not erev Pesach when finances are already tight.

I know some people do buy their kids new shoes for Pesach, but I would not go into debt or sell silver to keep up with the Cohen's.

To buy food or keep the utilities from being turned off on the other hand I would certainly sell silver.

Fox

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 10:26 am

Kol hakovod to your parents, OP, for raising such an amazing daughter! They are truly wealthy!

Your attitude is exemplary: of course you regret having to sell nice things, but you realize that, when all is said and done, they are just things, and Hashem gave them to you for a reason.

Don't feel you have to sell items which truly have sentimental value, but wave goodbye to the others without a moment of guilt.

I don't know your parents' situation, but I'll make a generalization about baby boomer parents: they grew up in a time when the economy was growing exponentially and parnosseh was comparatively easy. I'm not saying that it was easy for every single individual -- simply that, on the average, people growing up in the U.S. between 1950 and 1970 had an easier time economically than their children have today.

As a result, they just don't "get" how someone can be employed and working hard, yet not be able to make ends meet. They can't imagine that it's not a result of financial imprudence or wild spending. There is a tiny kernel of truth to that: no one in 1970 was paying cell phone bills or buying iPads. However, the reality is that the post-war boom in the U.S. economy was really an anomaly -- it wasn't the norm. But it's very hard for people who grew up during that era to understand the concept of selling one's silver to tide the family over during a rough patch.

So realize that your parents grew up during very cushy economic times and this may seem upsetting to them. Remind yourself, though, that your great-great-great grandmother would understand exactly what you're going through, and would say, "Nu? That's what silver is for!"

May you be blessed with ample parnosseh!

amother

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 10:45 am

I literally sold the contents of my house to help out my husband who got sick after we signed the teniom. I sold the stuff at auction, Craig's List and to a junk store.

I have had tinges of regret from time to time about one item; but overall I did not miss the things. I kept very few things and those were some gifts my first husband gave my daughter. I also kept his watch, sefordim, teffilin and taliss for my son. I also kept my candlesticks; but they were not silver.

I would do it again.

amother

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 10:45 am

if you need the money and it can give you another month of quiet sell the silver , this are only objects and the happiness of your children is priceless and a relaxed yom tov is priceless too. I sold my diamond ring and all my gold ,it hurt a lot and still does but it gave us a little bit of a breather I wish I would have more to sell

amother

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 11:40 am

OP here.
Thank you all for your response!! Unfortunately, my DH doesn't want to continue selling right now ( there are so few things left and they are all nostalgic at this point) we had said we would try to stop but I thought I could talk him into realizing just how desperate we are and that we should be selling... but no can do!! He has lots of emunah.. and the truth is.. he makes commisions aside from a salary.. which come at all different times. He thinks he'll be getting more soon and that we will make it till then.. I hope so!! thanks for the chizuk and here's hoping to better times for all of u!and Moshiach of course!