Husband keeps running up bill at grocery store & not pay

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amother

Mon, May 07 2012, 10:13 am

Please help me convince my husband that this is wrong!!!

He will run into the little corner grocery store after davening, and get a few items, usually around $20 worth, that I've asked him to pick up. Milk, cheese, yogurt, things like that. Anyway, he just adds them to our account there instead of paying for them right then. He claims this is fine, since the store owner allows people to do it. I feel this is VERY wrong. I think that if you have your credit card there, and you can pay for it right away, you should. He thinks it takes too long and he's always in a hurry. It only takes a minute to pay for something, not much longer than the time it takes to locate our family's paper, add the amount, and sign for it. Anyway, it upsets me very much that he leaves these debts for one or two months, and only gets around to paying them when the store owner pulls his paper and refuses to extend anymore credit until it's paid up. I just came home from that store (I don't usually go there so am not on top of this), and asked to check that we were all paid up. We had over $200 worth that we owed, and some of the debts were from early April! Last month my husband promised me that he would keep on top of it and pay it off but he hasn't! Please help me convince him that this is really really wrong! I am so upset about it!!!

Tamiri

Mon, May 07 2012, 10:19 am

If it's okay with the store owner, it's not wrong. Just bad practice for your family but it's worth it for the store owner, to get and keep your business.

faigyl

Mon, May 07 2012, 10:19 am

Maybe pre pay an account there? That's what I do. We put $500 into our account and then put everything on the account until the moneys done Smile

ewa-jo

Mon, May 07 2012, 10:24 am

It's a common Israeli thing to put grocery purchases on the account.

Maybe if you made a habit of giving $50 or $100 from every paycheck (as a set expense) then you would stay on top of your bill and it wouldn't be your DH's responsibility.

amother

Mon, May 07 2012, 10:43 am

OP here.

We tried doing the pre-pay thing, but unfortunately sometimes employees make math mistakes (everything is done by hand, not computer) and we don't discover until later. Then it's too late. So we don't want to do that again.

Yes it is common here too to use an account at the kosher market, I just feel that it's wrong to let your debts run up so high when you have the money to pay them. Why should the store owner have to wait to get paid for food that we ate over a month ago??

Am I the only one who thinks this is wrong???

There are so many expenses associated with running a store. He does a chesed by allowing people to have an account, but I feel that letting it go so long unpaid is abusing that chesed. For people who don't have the money, it's different. But shouldn't we pay for food right away if we can?

b from nj

Mon, May 07 2012, 10:47 am

YES you totally should otherwise you/your husband are simply taking advantage of a store-owner's kindness & surely he needs his money too!!!

kollel wife

Mon, May 07 2012, 11:28 am

Can you check often and pay yourself. You can tell your husband you were in there anyway.

chani8

Mon, May 07 2012, 11:56 am

Letting the bill get up to 800 shekels is a bit much.

If you were saying that money was tight and your DH just couldn't pay it, then I'd side with him, because what can you do.

But if you have the money, then you should pay up every Thursday, so that by Shabbat you don't owe so much. They don't want you squaring up your bills on fridays, however, because they are too busy. Go in every Thursday morning and pay the bill.

It's the proper thing to do. Otherwise you are taking advantage of this system.

ElTam

Mon, May 07 2012, 12:50 pm

I live OOT and I will tell you that many of the butchers/grocers no longer extend store credit because it was being abused by so many people. The store has to pay it's bills whether you pay yours or not.

paprika

Mon, May 07 2012, 1:07 pm

There are different reasons why people put their grocery bills on account. Not having enough money on oneself is one reason. Your husband not having enough time is another reason. Your husband doesn't have to lose the privilege of writing on account because he doesn't have the typical reason. If you feel that it's not right to leave an outstanding balance for such a long time, why don't you just pay it yourself? It seems like the grocery is close enough to your home, so it shouldn't be that difficult.

mha3484

Mon, May 07 2012, 1:09 pm

My OOT Grocery store does allow you to have a tab and pay later but I am terrified of becoming OP's husband. So no tab for us. Can you just get rid of it all together? If he has the money why is it necessary?

mizle10

Mon, May 07 2012, 1:56 pm

paprika wrote:

Exactly my thoughts. Pay it yourself if you feel it's wrong.

Culturedpearls

Mon, May 07 2012, 6:59 pm

Maybe ask the store to charge your credit card once a week? I have an arrangement like that with one store.
I also have such an arrangement with the electricity company etc.

tsiggelle

Tue, May 08 2012, 5:40 am

if you trust the owner to keep it between himself and you, ask him to put a limit on how much credit you can get, and it should say so on your card. if you are sure he wont buckle under the pressure your dh might pressure him with.

paprika

Tue, May 08 2012, 8:45 am

tsiggelle wrote:

I would never do this behind DH back, unless he's a gambler or such sort.

tsiggelle

Tue, May 08 2012, 11:28 am

paprika wrote:

tsiggelle wrote:

I would never do this behind DH back, unless he's a gambler or such sort.

you have a good point there

so I suggest having an as calm as possible talk with dh. explain to him what you feel about this. ask him to explain what he feels about this, and try to compromise on a certain amount/certain interval of days you wont let be crossed before you pay the balance

amother

Tue, May 08 2012, 11:04 pm

as someone who works in a grocery store, explain to your husband like this

groceries have to pay their vendors 30 days from the date of their invoice. If its not paid on time they can and will choose not to deliver merchandise. I cannot tell them "well sorry I dont have the money" they tell me to call them when I have the money

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