Nechemya Weberman charged with abusing 12 yr old girl

octopus

Wed, May 16 2012, 8:09 am

male counselors should not be counseling teenage girls. period.

bigprincess

Wed, May 16 2012, 8:21 am

I just spoke to someone who knows Mr. Weberman. He did not do this for a living people came to him to talk because he is a very understanding person. Everyone who knows him doesn't believe the story. This story apparently happened 6 years ago. He has seen many people since then and no one complained. There is one guy who is angry at him so he started this whole story. As of now I am not taking sides but I do know that not everyone convicted of a crime is guilty.

ora_43

Wed, May 16 2012, 8:25 am

"Everyone who knows him doesn't believe it" is also true of a lot of guilty people.

I'm not saying he's guilty but let's not have the rumors. Nobody here needs to be convinced of his innocence, the only person he needs to convince is a judge - and in the meantime, chaval to send a message of questioning victims for the reasons I mentioned earlier. IMHO.

5*Mom

Wed, May 16 2012, 8:46 am

Chloe wrote:

I can tell you that it is extremely easy to accuse a man nowadays...

How do you figure? Doesn't look like this girl or her family are having a particularly easy time of it.

imamiri

Wed, May 16 2012, 8:57 am

Chloe wrote:

but I can tell you that it is extremely easy to accuse a man nowadays

Certainly not in some frum neighborhoods where they are taking a page from the Catholic church and wish to play hide the pervert: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05......html

letschat

Wed, May 16 2012, 8:59 am

I heard about this story, made some inquiries, bottom line is. She made up a nice story about him. He tried to help her being an at risk child, and she didn't appreciate the help she got.

chani8

Wed, May 16 2012, 9:02 am

I saw this email address on one of those pages that someone here posted. If you send a note of support to the following address, they will pass it on to the family. Part of me wishes someone would make a fundraiser for the victims and their families!!

coalitioncalany@gmail.com

chani8

Wed, May 16 2012, 9:18 am

Just ftr, this girl did not report this. Her subsequent real therapist reported it. The abuse happened when she was 12 years old. So whatever you see now that concerns you about her, it's due to the abuse and the community reaction, not because she is a trouble maker or part of some conspiracy to slander an innocent man.

Weberman had no right to counsel and should be additionally charged for doing so, calling that child endangermeant in and of itself.

No one has a right to defend that man here on this forum unless they've taken the time to read the charges and can then still say, "looks questionable".

Banging head

ora_43

Wed, May 16 2012, 9:19 am

letschat wrote:

I heard about this story, made some inquiries, bottom line is. She made up a nice story about him. He tried to help her being an at risk child, and she didn't appreciate the help she got.

If only the police knew as much about investigative work as you do.

Rolling Eyes

eatingbagels

Wed, May 16 2012, 9:20 am

ora_43 wrote:

I don't think it's bad to raise money for someone who's been accused but not convicted. If one of the people I trust were accused of a crime I'd probably do the same for them. All money does is buy someone a decent defense, not affect the outcome (unless it's a corrupt court, I guess, but hopefully that's not the situation).

But the way they are doing it is terrible terrible terrible. Even if the man really were innocent - what does it do to people who might have suffered molestation, to see so many posters supporting the accused and accusing the victim?

And if he's not innocent, it's a hundred times worse. And since nobody knows for sure if he's innocent except him and this girl, nobody should be taking that risk by openly accusing her, no matter how much they trust him.

Ora- I was thinking the same about every single point you made here.

TranquilityAndPeace

Wed, May 16 2012, 9:26 am

Chloe wrote:

I live in Williamsburg. You all know that I'm a realistic open-minded person (you can read my posts) and I am outspoken against child molesters. However, in this case, if you would know the girl you would not be so easily influenced by the media (the worst place from where to gain accurate insights with all their hype and distortions).

I know this girl personally. I do not want to take sides, or speak loshon horah because of course I wasn't there when she was having her session with him, but I can tell you that it is extremely easy to accuse a man nowadays and I believe that this is the case here from the INSIDE STORY that I personally know.

Okay, so I got a report about this post saying:

Quote:

Complete and utter lashon hara, with poster claiming that a girl fabricated abuse allegati

I assume the person who reported this post meant "Motzi shem ra" - which is FALSE negative information.

Lashon harah is TRUE negative information about a person.

As such, this entire post is either lashon hara or motzi shem ra, should not be on a frum message board. I'll lock it and see if Yael wants to delete it, as I think the rules say that there should be no lashon hara written on imamother.

P.S. I think it's important to discuss things like this that are issues of concern to our society. I also think it's important to keep the halachos of shmiras halashon. If anyone has any idea how we can do both of those things simultaneously, please start a new thread about it, as I'm feeling stumped.

Last edited by TranquilityAndPeace on Wed, May 16 2012, 9:28 am; edited 1 time in total

imamiri

Wed, May 16 2012, 9:26 am

bigprincess wrote:

It doesn't matter if it happened 6 months or 6 years ago.

You think time means it's not true? Do you realize that many victims of s-xual abuse do not come forward immediately and that's often from the shame and guilt the victim feels? Or the pressure to keep quiet and not rock the boat? Especially in crazy communities where people all but bow before and worship some of their "leaders"?

Yael

Wed, May 16 2012, 9:53 am

Since this piece of news is already in the media, discussing it is acceptable.
Please refrain from making judgments over whether he is innocent or guilty. It is not for us to decide what is the truth, and ultimately makes no difference to the outcome.

Ruchel

Wed, May 16 2012, 10:04 am

MaBelleVie wrote:

Chloe wrote:

Why was he having three hour sessions and taking her upstate alone?

Indeed it's mega weird. Mega weird also the parents allowed the trip alone.
BUT it's the second time in two days I hear what Chloe says from someone who knows them. So...

chipsy wrote:

1. Is he a licensed therapist?
2. why is he seeing little girls/teenagers????

Nothing wrong with the 2 in my book.

Barbara

Wed, May 16 2012, 10:11 am

Yael wrote:

I'm the one who reported the post.

Why is it OK for people to make posts impugning the accuser, stating that they have "inside information," and that she is, for all intents and purposes, a liar.

Why is it NOT OK to assume that this man raped this young girl. Repeatedly. As she claims, and as some reports have suggested, as up to 5 others have also claimed. But at the same time, to allow people to attack the alleged victim.

THAT is what this is all about. Not that people want to raise money to support a man they believe is innocent. But that they want to do it by attacking a young woman who dared to raise accusations against him. By posting disgusting posters portraying her as a missile attacking the community. And here, by the nastiness and innuendo of posters. Make no mistake, if this rabbi raped this young woman once, the posters here have raped her again. And those who allow the posts rape her a third time.

StrawberrySmoothie

Wed, May 16 2012, 10:16 am

The way some posters are defending him makes me believe the story more. The lines are the same lines used over and over.

I guess y'all are proving the NYT and WSJ correct... what a shame and huge chillul Hashem.

StrawberrySmoothie

Wed, May 16 2012, 10:27 am

http://calany.wordpress.com/20.....-out/

Weberman’s Victims Speaks Out
Posted on May 13, 2012
In great pain we feel the need to publicize a terrible situation that occurred in our own community with the hope that something can be done to heal a terrible wound and prevent future tragedies from occurring.

The victim was a bright 12 year old in the sixth grade in a Chassidic Yeshiva school for girls. During class she would ask many theological questions, some which the teachers were incapable of responding to. The teacher turned to the principal for guidance and answers to the questions. The principal summoned her to his office and berated her for asking such questions calling her an apikorus (heretic). He demanded that she see a counselor in order to stay in the school.

With great personal sacrifice, the parents invested tremendous time and money in therapy with Nechemia Weberman. Each session lasted a minimum of three hours at a cost of $150 an hour. At one point they were required to pay $7,000 in advance to the principal, to guarantee that she remain in therapy.

Unfortunately they trusted both the school and Mr Weberman. When they did have questions or concerns, they were intimidated and threatened. At one point Mr. Weberman took her alone on a 12 hour trip upstate – when the mother asked about hilchos yichud he responded in great anger. Rather than calming her, he threatened to stop treatment if she wouldn’t apologize in writing.

Finally, after two years of embarrassment and pain at school, the victim was switched to another school. The new school assigned her to a therapist. Throughout the sessions the therapist discovered what had occurred with Mr. Weberman over the past few years.

The law in NY State requires that a therapist report any abuse that happens to a child whether or not the parents agree. Thus it was a shock when the parents of the victim were called down to the police station and informed of what happened.

Those unfamiliar with how the DA’s office works blamed the parents for the charges and publicity, yet they themselves had no control over the process. Initially the parents did not believe the story and the police refused to allow the girl back home. For three weeks the girl was placed in another home. with time and investigation it became clear that the painful stories were true. Numerous other victims have come forward to share their stories as well.

The victim’s family wanted to keep the story quiet in order to preserve the dignity of the weberman family, yet the webermans in trying to deny the charges has made this public and widespread. The defendant, who is and aggressor according to Jewish law, is now playing the role of a victim.

As religious people, the victim’s family would like to handle this according to the Torah. They have informed the Rabbis and advocates that they are ready and willing to go to any Rabbinical Court to uncover the truth and follow their guidance.

As a community, we hope you can share in their pain and do what needs to be done to keep our kehilla safe.

Yael

Wed, May 16 2012, 10:29 am

Barbara wrote:

Why is it OK for people to make posts impugning the accuser, stating that they have "inside information," and that she is, for all intents and purposes, a liar.

its not ok at all. thats why I wrote not to make judgments about whether her story is true or not. The police are involved, and the man is going on trial.
May the US justice system prevail.

Chanala1

Wed, May 16 2012, 10:30 am

cant she be examined by a doctor to check if it was done?

OOTforlife

Wed, May 16 2012, 10:35 am

bigprincess wrote:

If he was charging $150/hr as the blog says, then the bolded is patently untrue and your "someone" cannot be trusted.

Edit to add: also, the blog says that other people have come forward. If that's true, your source is doubly shady.