Did you tell people you were expecting twins?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Twins, Triplets, and more

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amother

Wed, May 16 2012, 5:55 am

If so, who did you tell and when? Or did you keep it a secret the whole pregnancy?

Jughead

Wed, May 16 2012, 6:52 am

I told very few people; my mother, my in-laws, my sister, and one friend. one co-worker guessed and my husband mistakenly referred to "the babies" when he was speaking to a friend, so that guy knew also. but that was it.

bodybalance

Wed, May 16 2012, 6:55 am

I told as many people as possible. I live in a country without family who can help and wanted as much advice and resources as possible.

amother

Wed, May 16 2012, 7:22 am

I only told my parents and in laws and my sister.. but thast it. no one else knew. a friend said she knew but I didnt tell anyone

amother

Wed, May 16 2012, 7:27 am

only family

ElTam

Wed, May 16 2012, 7:41 am

In our circles, people either don't say at all or only tell parents and maybe older married siblings.

If you don't want to tell people, be ready for a comeback when people ask if you are having twins, because people will. My middle baby was huge (10 lbs.) and people asked me if it was twins or said after the baby was born, "Oh, we were sure you were having twins."

Jughead

Wed, May 16 2012, 7:47 am

when my mother's (nosy) friend asked her if I was having twins, my mother innocently replied "Oh! Do you think I can ask her?"

My twins were my firsts so when people asked me I just said "I guess I carry big" - there were no previous pregnancies to compare to so it satisfied e/o who asked. I was on bedrest from 35 weeks so no one saw me when I was really huge

chipsy

Wed, May 16 2012, 7:53 am

I told one friend early on and my in laws 6 weeks before (I didn't think it would be fair for them to find out together with e/o else). People that asked me got this: "...If I was, I sure wouldn't be sharing it with you....." or "it's a 50/50 chance, you'll find out" or "what else do you want to know" or "time will tell"

amother

Wed, May 16 2012, 8:32 am

So far we haven't told anyone but do plan to tell my parents and in laws. just waiting for the right time. I'm b'h feeling ok so far and don't need the extra assistance so why tell them already?

On another note, my mother is CONVINCED that I'm having twins and keeps on referring to the babieS... that's just becuase it took me a while to become pregnant... Can't wait to confirm it with her. She'll be ecstatic!!

mydear

Wed, May 16 2012, 8:39 am

I told close family (my side + MIL) and a few close friends. When I was around in my 7th month a co-worker didn't believe my due date. Eventually it hit her and she screamed out "TWINS" so the whole office could hear. I didn't deny it - just turned red.

amother

Wed, May 16 2012, 8:49 am

ElTam wrote:

LOL yeah, people asked me if I was expecting twins by my first even though I had only gained 11 pounds by the end of the pregnancy (I wasn't overweight before) and the baby weighed 7 pounds at birth so wasn't exactly looking large!

I doubt I'd really be able to keep it a secret if I told my MIL. We told her about my first pregnancy just before 3 months but were planning on telling everyone else in the 5th. However, the same day that we told her we got phone calls from three continents congratulating us on the pregnancy! She also called me the other day saying "I'm not supposed to tell anyone this but I've just got off the phone with Chaya's MIL and Chaya is expecting her 5th girl!" I imagine Chaya's MIL wasn't supposed to share that info and I'm sure my MIL would be glad to share such secrets too!

For the people who didn't tel, did anyone complain afterwards that you hadn't told them? Not that they would have reason to of course, I just wondered how people responded after you gave birth.

A friend of mine had twins just over a year ago and I didn't know until she gave birth I was really surprised, but in a good way!

chani8

Wed, May 16 2012, 9:06 am

I was very open about expecting twins and it was a mistake. Too many people came up to me with horrific stories of twin loss. It was really really uncomfortable.

amother

Wed, May 16 2012, 9:33 am

My friend really wanted to tell someone, but couldn't. So she told her mail women who she sees every day.

After she had her baby her MIL was watching the kids and the mail women asked if she had the BABIES. And the MIL got all mad - "you knew!"

Fox

Wed, May 16 2012, 9:45 am

I chose a middle way: I told a couple of close friends and allowed them to judiciously spread the word. That was much better than what had begun happening: people were stopping me on the street because I was so enormous -- they wanted to be sure I'd been tested for gestational diabetes, etc.

Also, since I had a 5-year-old; a 2-year-old; and a 1-year-old at the time my twins were born, I needed the school and my day-care providers to be in the loop and ready to spring into action.

While I understand the minhag of not broadcasting pregnancy details, it's very important for people who have this minhag to (a) be realistic about the help and support they will need; and (b) not negatively judge people who have to be a little more open in order to line up help and resources.

ellie23

Wed, May 16 2012, 10:46 am

I told several close friends and only some family...however a lot of tactless people would ask about it toward the end of my pregnancy because I was very big.....some people really havent a clue how to behave in these situations....I was afraid I would lose 1 of the babies thru my pregnancy...I landed in the hospital many times and I was very high risk so I thought it would be devastating to have to tell people it was no longer twins should that happen.....luckily they both made it but twins is a risky thing so I think its better to keep it quiet

amother

Wed, May 16 2012, 10:53 am

I told my parents and siblings right away. Then I told one close friend, and my husband let it slip to one close friend too. We didn't tell anyone else. One person asked, and we just kind of shrugged, we were shocked by the question and didn't know how to respond. The person only asked because they were mentioning family members with twins..

I had a baby after my twins and a lot of people asked me then, in the begining I said no just one, then I decided to just not really answer people and say things like we'll see...

amother

Wed, May 16 2012, 11:17 am

Not me--I don't have twins, but I have a funny story!

My (adult) friend has twin siblings (who are now 6, I believe). She, and her other siblings had no idea it was twins, and when they came to the hospital after their mother had given birth were told by their dad, "Guess What? It's twins!" They got very excited, and were anticipating meeting two babies, only to be told (by their dad) that he was joking, and it was only one. Sure enough, when they saw the babies, it was two! They were surprised twice!

I don't know if my friends parent's told anyone, or no one, but their (older) kids were clueless!

rainbow dash

Wed, May 16 2012, 11:47 am

chani8 wrote:

I was very open about expecting twins and it was a mistake. Too many people came up to me with horrific stories of twin loss. It was really really uncomfortable.

I had the same thing, stupid me, I told a friend of mine after the dr told me I was having twins cause I needed to know how to break it to dh and then on the way home I told another friend who had triplets and by the time I got home my bil called me to ask me if im having twins cause people are talking. this was before I told dh. soooo mad at myself. But I know my friends didnt tell anyone. s/o must of over heard and I got non stop aggravation from it.

But on the flip side I was as big as pregnancy before them and it was a shocker for all my other friends.
oh and I told my mum who of course had to tell her son in another country and he had to tell my best friend from high school and she has contact with my bil.

DONT TELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love the comebacks from chipy wish I knew that then.

rainbow dash

Wed, May 16 2012, 11:49 am

But I found that it helped to have someone to talk to who has been though twins, I was always talking to my friend about it and it helped me with decisions that I had to make.

rac429

Wed, May 16 2012, 1:26 pm

I just had twins 12 weeks ago and except for my parents an in- laws we told no one. No sibling, friends, coworkers.....when I had the babies people were shocked and extremely excited. I have saved all the text messages people sent me cause it makes me laugh reading people's reactions over and over again. I wasn't huge during my pregnancy I just started showing earlier so people kept asking if I was having twins when I would tell them my due date. I would just say I'm bigger because this isn't my first pregnancy. It was loads of fun surprising everyone!

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