Did you tell people you were expecting twins?

amother

Wed, May 16 2012, 5:25 pm

I told my parents and in-laws. My husband slipped and reffered to them in the plural to my sister-in-law so she new. I told a woman at the library who was pushing twins...we've been friends ever since. MY BIL was very sick so my MIL told him but everyone else was suprised.

buzz

Wed, May 16 2012, 11:38 pm

Well I'm the opposite, this 4th pregnancy I am really carrying big and B"H it's a big baby, I normally carry big but this time the biggest.

The comments and the looks and the blatant staring and questioning is driving me mad, and yes everyone is convinced I'm having twins, so I have asked it to be spread around that I am NOT having twins, because I am sick of being asked it myself so many times.

amother

Thu, May 17 2012, 9:23 pm

When I was pregnant with my first set of twin, I told my mil, 2 friend, and my father. 3 years later Im pregnant with another set of twins. Told one friend. Not telling anyone else

SivanMom

Thu, May 17 2012, 9:38 pm

I told my sister first, at around 15 weeks or so, because she had an excellent job offer for my husband in the summer that was out of town and would have been perfect. When I told her that my doctor didn't want us to go so far, she panicked and thought something was wrong with the pregnancy. After our big scan at 21 weeks I told my parents, in-laws and the rest of my siblings. I didn't tell my husband's siblings. I had to tell mine because I really needed their help. My son was under 4 and daughter under 2 when I was pregnant and there were times I just could not take care of them.
I ended up being so huge, that others guessed, but nobody asked me anything. One funny thing, the gabai of my husband's shul (and our neighbor), gave my husband hagbah (segulah for easy labor given to men when the wife enters the 9th month), when I was just entering my 7th month. It was so funny, but also so inappropriate of him.

observer

Thu, May 17 2012, 9:52 pm

I don't have twins but I have thought about it and I think we would probably tell parents and in-laws (not necessarily at the same point depending on ability to keep a secret) and closest sister, just to have someone to talk to about it.

Fox

Fri, May 18 2012, 11:05 am

One point I want to make: 20 or 25 years ago, people were a little less reticent about these matters. Perhaps it's a function of becoming more attuned to issues of tznius; perhaps the general zeitgeist is less open . . . I don't really know.

So if you're under the age of 35 or so, don't be too shocked or offended if older people, in particular, ask you questions or find your reticence unnerving. For many of them, a reluctance to discuss general pregnancy news within a group of made up exclusively of women is a signal that something is terribly wrong.

I'm not necessarily taking sides on which approach is correct . . . well, actually I am: being excessively coy is just as bad as too much information! But just keep in mind that standards for "sharing" have changed, and not everyone got the memo.

merelyme

Fri, May 25 2012, 1:49 am

SivanMom wrote:

One funny thing, the gabai of my husband's shul (and our neighbor), gave my husband hagbah (segulah for easy labor given to men when the wife enters the 9th month

Do you mean pesichah?

ewa-jo

Fri, May 25 2012, 3:59 am

chani8 wrote:

I was very open about expecting twins and it was a mistake. Too many people came up to me with horrific stories of twin loss. It was really really uncomfortable.

For this reason, even if I were expecting quadruplets and was as wide as a house, I would say nothing.

amother

Tue, Jun 12 2012, 1:23 am

I didn't know so I didn't have this problem! When people asked if I was having twins I was honestly able to answer "who knows"? (I had a 10 lb baby prior so I was used to being huge, wasn't the dead giveaway it is for some people.)

amother

Wed, Jun 13 2012, 2:54 pm

http://imamother.com/forum/vie.....21312

I'm feeling big & measuring normal this pregnancy too... not really a twin indication but we'll see!

amother

Wed, Jun 13 2012, 3:50 pm

We were planning on telling my parents and in-laws at 35 weeks but then I went in to labor at 34 weeks and had to tell them a few hours before my twins were born. My mother was insulted because the first question everybody asked her was is if she knew I was having twins and she had to say no.
I didn't feel comfortable with everybody knowing I was carrying twins.

observer

Fri, Jun 15 2012, 3:54 pm

amother wrote:

http://imamother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=121312

I'm feeling big & measuring normal this pregnancy too... not really a twin indication but we'll see!

wow! amazing story! did you have any ultrasounds during the pregnancy? just wondering- is it possible to miss twins even with an ultrasound?

amother

Sun, Jun 17 2012, 10:49 am

I personally didn't have ultrasounds (nothing to indicate one, I don't do routine u/s).

It is possible to miss twins via ultrasound, especially early on. I read of 2 stories that happened this year where women did u/s specifically to rule out twins (for a homebirth) and had twins after all. Not that common to miss twins in a later ultrasound though.

I could try to find those links again if you're curious.

JustHavingFun

Mon, Jul 23 2012, 5:05 pm

My twins are 18 already so I realize that current sentiments may be different...

Of course I told everyone! I was so happy!! I found out in the 5th month by routine sono to date the pregnancy. You could have told me aliens were landing and I would have been just as stunned.

The technician said, "I see two heads!" and added "You're having twins!" I started crying with joy. I was an older mother and didn't know that I'd even be able to conceive due to some medical complications. Surprise! I wanted everyone to share my good news. I wanted the brachas. I wanted the assistance offered. Most of all, I wanted these babies.

It wasn't until much later that I realized that the tech's comment, "I see two heads," could have been construed another way ch"vs.

People ask "How did you do it? It must have been so hard." I reply that I can't imagine how people do all that work for only one baby.
Hooray

IMHopinion

Mon, Jul 23 2012, 6:49 pm

I dont have twins, so im just dreaming!
Am I the only one who wouldn't tell a soul? Definitely not my parents. Let me surprise them!

Maybe one close friend, but that is it!