What did the Lubavitcher/other Rebbes say about tzaros?

amother

Thu, Dec 28 2006, 8:48 pm

Why do some people have the Z'chus from Hashem, to have relatively problem-free lives and some have one disaster after another?

amother

Thu, Dec 28 2006, 11:30 pm

Aren't women, young or old, who value their Chassidus, familiar with any inspiring messages from their Rebbes regarding this Inyan?

Imaonwheels

Sun, Dec 31 2006, 5:21 am

There is a sicha from the Rebbe from this past weeks parsha where he talks about Yosef and Binyamin crying on each others necks. Yosef is crying the 2 Beis HaMikdashim in Binyamin's nachala that were destroyed and Binyamin was crying about the Mishkan at Shilo, in the nachala of Yosef.

Why was each one not crying about his catastrophe?

The Rebbe said that when a tzarah comes upon us the answer is not to cry but action is what is needed. When our fellow has a tzarah and we cannot help him, we have to cry with him and also ofeel his sorrow.

Fiveboyz

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 1:16 am

Being that I am so connected to Lubavitch and feel the Rebbe as a powerful force and gadol hador, maybe someone can give me words of chizuk. I am truly really losing my mind. Not only my mind but my family as well. What can I do if all of my kids have no friends no motivation no interest in socializing couple that with a mother like me who gets hysterical crying out of jealousy. Is there a cure for jealousy how does one see other peoples kids successful and moving ahead and then see their own kids so hopeless? How do I continue with the will to live? I just want to die so I don't have to smile when I see other kids and the knife keeps twisting?

oliveoil

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 1:31 am

Fiveboyz wrote:

It sounds like you and your family all need some real life help. Chizzuk is great, but sometimes action is more important.

Fiveboyz

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 1:46 am

My family does not need help. They are happy being losers. They see nothing wrong with having no friends or having zero ambition! I need help I need to accept the unacceptable. How does one learn to live with a painful situation that cannot be changed? I refuse to accept my kids as they are. I will never give up on the dream of them having friends and socializing and wanting to live life?

Fiveboyz

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 1:52 am

Thanks for responding I'm just beside myself yes 18 and 17 the other kids don't worry me as much. What do they like doing? Not much besides for iPhones. I thought having my son go to Bnei Akiva last summer would open his eyes would make him get involved but sadly no not interested. He had a good time and he says the guys at school are his friends but haven't seen or heard a thing. I mean what's wrong with bowling or pizza or a movie on s Saturday nite

Jeanette

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 2:28 am

I understand being worried when it seems that your children are not on a productive path, but I think you need to separate your legitimate concerns for your children's future from your own anxiety and emotional response.

I have found the EMETT books by Miriam Adahan to be very helpful when I start getting overly panicky about a situation. When emotions get in the way it's hard to think constructively.

Are they in school now? Are there any community programs they can get involved with? Maybe their I-phone use has to be conditional on doing something, being in school, having a job etc. If they have to pay for their own phone that might motivate them to earn some money.