Dov Haller serial in Mishpacha - Kalman Bernstein

self-actualization

Fri, Aug 31 2012, 6:59 am

If anyone is reading this serial (I think it's called Sundays @ 10) - what do you think about Kalman Bernstein's reaction to being patronized by Rabbi Wohlberg? I understand that it was wrong of him to comment/blog about the principal, but I really get how he was embarrassed by having Rabbi Wohlberg as his lone defender. I can see how he eventually, without a specific agenda, turned against him. It's tough to think of yourself as someones chessed project! Does anyone feel the same way, I.e. empathy or sympathy for Kalman Bernstein?

self-actualization

Fri, Aug 31 2012, 10:08 am

Sometimes ... helping can be hurting.

There is a famous philosopher named Ayn Rand, who stretched this idea way past the Torah limit (because she didn't believe in any charity at all).

However, if you think about it, a "free economy" without things being propped up artificially is usually a good thing, and it appears that in this serial Rabbi Bernstein should have in fact been let go when the board wanted it. Life is like that - we all want to hold on to our jobs, but sometimes it's not a good fit, and it's not even good for the employee either. After Rabbi Wohlberg stuck his neck out to protect Rabbi Bernstein, Rabbi Bernstein felt like a total zero, nebach-case, etc.

There is an old, unenthused (burned out) rabbi in my son's yeshiva, and the parent body wants him gone, but the hanhala wants to let him stay. Shows that Dov Haller does in fact have his finger on the pulse of today's yeshiva educational system. I hope that the hanhala of my son's yeshiva reads the serial Smile

Another thing to think about - imagine that you have a friend who is less well-off than you in some area (shidduchim, kids, money, job, kavod, etc). Know that it is human nature to get jealous, especially when ones own situation is really a sad one. Even I, who am not in the chinuch world at all, am starting to feel a little sick of Rabbi Wohlberg (why is he so perfect all the time, why is his wife so perfect) and I can definitely see how his colleagues can get tired of that. I try, whenever I am in a significantly better position than other people, to davka NOT project an image of perfection, because I know from my own past how human nature operates.

PinkFridge

Fri, Aug 31 2012, 2:01 pm

self-actualization wrote:

I don't think he should have waited for Pesach; Chanuka or winter break would have been better.
And he's not totally perfect, every now and then there'll be a peak at some minor imperfection, rigidity, etc. But he's pretty good though. Cute that you mentioned Ayn Rand: when I typed the words "epic hero" I thought of her ;-)

Terri

Sun, Sep 02 2012, 8:14 am

I actually was having a harder time comprehending Bernstein's actions...I mean, to attempt to destroy a man who has done so much for you?...

I see your point here, though it didn't seem to be that Wohlberg was patronizing in his methods. Re his "perfection," we really can't control what others think of us...I think he did seem pretty human, esp after the very demoralizing blog etc abt him...

I guess what helped me understand is what I once heard from a very rich man, who generously helped many people out: (something to the effect of:) if you want to make an enemy, all you have to do is do him a favor...

Instead of gratitude, somehow, our own deficiencies can be blamed on the benefactor...