Do you put out candy for the trick-or-treaters?

busymum

Thu, Nov 01 2012, 12:01 am

the big question I face is that now my street is full of jewish kids from traditional and even MO families who have taken on halloween and trick or treating.
what do I do about that?
they can be kids from my own child's class at a MO school knocking on the door.
I am horrified that it has come to this and don't quite know how to handle it.

bamamama

Thu, Nov 01 2012, 12:27 am

busymum wrote:

I don't think you need to handle it at all. Tell your kids that different parents have different rules.

We give out candy and I let my kids put on stuff from the dress up trunk if they want. They have great fun pretending to knock and yell "trick-or-treat!" on our front door.

Isramom8

Thu, Nov 01 2012, 1:28 am

When I was growing up in NY, my mother used to buy mini chocolates to give out to trick-or-treaters. I think your kids deserve some candy too, for being kind and giving to other kids! You can explain that it's their holiday, they go collecting candy, and we can make kids happy. My kids would ask what their holiday means, and I'd subtly let my kids know that I think their basis for collecting candy is rather shallow or nonexistent. As for us, it's an opportunity to smile and be gracious Yidden.

As far as the kids from your kids' same school, I'd say blankly that I don't know why they go collecting candy; it's not our holiday, but that's the parents' business.

JAWSCIENCE

Thu, Nov 01 2012, 10:11 am

pobody's nerfect wrote:

davka we want our children to know that everything we do has a reason in the Torah, while for many non-Jews there is no reason for their actions.

And don't tell me Halloween is religious. Less than one percent of the population knows anything deeper than spooky stuff and candy.

If you do not think Halloween is religious then I do not see what the problem is with putting out candy. I thought problem was davka that it was a religious holiday and thus many feel uncomfortable participating in any way. If it is not religious then what is the big deal?

vintagebknyc

Thu, Nov 01 2012, 10:14 am

busymum wrote:

respectfully, may I ask what about this horrifies you?

MrsDash

Thu, Nov 01 2012, 10:22 am

vintagebknyc wrote:

I give out candy, I answer the door. I love watching the kids in the costumes, seeing how they've grown up since last year. Just because it isn't my holiday doesn't mean I have to pretend I'm not home. Do I believe in the holiday? No. But the children are having fun and I'm not going to pretend the little kids aren't running around.

I know this will not be a popular response, so bash away. At least I'm not putting a costume on my cat. Plus, DH s thrilled when there's leftover candy

Agreed. (Although I did put a costume on my cat LOL

)

vintagebknyc

Thu, Nov 01 2012, 10:25 am

yoshi wrote:

Agreed. (Although I did put a costume on my cat LOL

)

entre nous, had the cat tolerated such things, she's have also been wearing a costume. LOL

Chayalle

Thu, Nov 01 2012, 10:33 am

busymum wrote:

Send them little candy packages on Purim, to let them know about its existence.

When I used to work in the office (I work from home now) I used to bring a small Shalach Manos package to my coworkers before Purim, since there were several Jews (I brought for everyone). Ditto for cheesecake before Shavuos. It was always well-received.

CatLady

Thu, Nov 01 2012, 10:56 am

Quote:

Agreed. (Although I did put a costume on my cat Laughing )

^^ This post is useless without pictures! =^.^=

My DS's school's party line was that we didn't "do" Halloween, but most of the kids went out trick-or-treating and some of the families went all-out and decorated to the max. Parents had to come up with more than one costume a year. (On November 2, I'd hit the stores and see what I could get at 75% off and stash it away for Purim!)

My building has no kids, so I don't do anything for Halloween. However, at work, I did accept a fun-sized chocolate bar from a co-worker's plastic cauldron. Smile

MrsDash

Thu, Nov 01 2012, 11:46 am

I just couldn't help myself! LOL

Found an old Halloween themed onesie. The trick-or-treaters got a kick out this! (Doesn't she look thrilled to be in that thing Very Happy

)

vintagebknyc

Thu, Nov 01 2012, 11:51 am

if I've tried something like this mine would have moved into the closet and never come out. I LOVE this shot!

MrsDash

Thu, Nov 01 2012, 11:53 am

vintagebknyc wrote:

if I've tried something like this mine would have moved into the closet and never come out. I LOVE this shot!

She is still not talking to me today.

CatLady

Thu, Nov 01 2012, 12:18 pm

Best cat shaming pic I've seen this season! The look on that widdle face!! The tail peeking out! All that's missing is a LOL caption such as "I'se secksy and I noes it".

MiracleMama

Thu, Nov 01 2012, 12:23 pm

We turn off the lights and hide. No candy. We've always done this.

But this year somehow my kids must have learned something from other kids at school because they asked me if the people knocking at the door were here for Halloween and if they had costumes on. I didn't even know they knew the word Halloween. (Oldest is 6).

I think next year we may go ahead and buy some candy to give out. I hate the idea of it, but I think maybe now that my kids know kids are dressing up and coming to the door for candy, ignoring it may be teaching them something worse. Guess we have a year to think about it.

imamiri

Thu, Nov 01 2012, 12:27 pm

yoshi wrote:

I just couldn't help myself! LOL

Found an old Halloween themed onesie. The trick-or-treaters got a kick out this! (Doesn't she look thrilled to be in that thing Very Happy

)

The look on your cat's face is priceless!!

moonstone

Thu, Nov 01 2012, 1:15 pm

shnitzel wrote:

I think it is menshlicht and a kiddush Hashem to put out candy. Your kids will grow up knowing it is not something they are a part of because they don't dress up and collect candy. I think it is a way of showing your neighbours you are a nice person.

The worst that can happen is that you give someone a positive experience with an Orthodox Jew

Absolutely! And I'm sure I remember reading something about a famous Rebbe who used to hand out candy on Halloween. Can't remember any details, though- does this ring a bell (no pun intended!) with anyone?

That cat picture is hysterical! You can tell he's thinking "This is SO undignified!"

MaBelleVie

Thu, Nov 01 2012, 1:18 pm

shnitzel wrote:

Absolutely agree. The chinuch here is being respectful of others and striving to have peaceful coexistence. Giving candy has no religious significance. It's not our holiday so we don't celebrate.

irg2013

Thu, Nov 01 2012, 1:27 pm

My husband doesn't like giving out candy b/c he associates Halloween with pogroms. I don't know if this is true or not...but that is why he feels uncomfortable participating by giving out candy. I argue that as the only recognizably Jewish people on our block, it is important for us to be "good, friendly neighbors."

We compromise by putting candy outside our door.

Peanut2

Thu, Nov 01 2012, 1:42 pm

When DH and I lived in an OOT yeshivish neighborhood (dh was one of only 2 people with knitted kipahs) we asked what people did. Most put candy out, and told us which rabbis said it was fine Smile

I am not a fan of the scary element of the holiday, but it's nice kids get to dress up. Just wish there were no witches and skeletons and all that...

It's a fantastic holiday for dentists. LOL

abby1776

Thu, Nov 01 2012, 2:08 pm

Growing up living out of town, we gave out candy. My parents attitude was its not a Jewish Holiday, we dont celebrate it just as we dont celebrat Chrstmas or Easter, but we can be neighborly and give out candy.

But I guess the same argument could be made about Thanksgiving, not being a Jewish Holiday, but my family is very into Thanksgiving. We all get together and do the whole Turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie thing.

When I was married and first living in Monsey, our neighborhood was very mixed and if people came to the door we gave out candy, but after 5 years and all the non-jews moved out and the jews moved in, no one came by anymore. After 12 years in Monsey we moved to Baltimore. No one came by in Baltimore either.