8 year old dd very anxious

amother

Sun, Nov 04 2012, 1:14 am

The past wee has been super eventful in my family, and my 8 year old, a typically quiet and thoughtful kid is now really anxious and nervous, even spoke about how she feels she's going to throw up.
Just to give some background info
-we live in an area affected by the hurricane, while BH we are fine and have no major damage, we did have a power outage and she is afraid of the dark
-she's been out of school for a week due to the storm
-I had a baby this week, she came to visit me in the hospital and I saw she was really not being herself.
-we now moved into relatives who have power since we couldn't stay at home with the newborn and no heat.

How can I calm her down, let her feel safe? Over shabbos I spent some alone time with her, reading stories on the couch, tucking her into bed with funny stories from my childhood. However, she still isn't herself. Any advice?

ellie23

Sun, Nov 04 2012, 10:26 am

I think it wud be a good idea for you to address what happened this week and how she is feeling about it with her. tell her that you understand how there were so many changes that happened in her life recently and how does she feel about everything that happened/a new sibling?no school?different home? listen silently as she speaks to you. let her know that her feelings are normal because so many changes at once can be very hard for anyone. let her know that she can always come to you when she is feeling anxious or afraid because while many chnages have happened some things will not change. mommy and daddy still love her and are there for her when she needs them. let her know that family is the most important thing and bh that is still intact! children need stability and constant love and support....these kinds of talks will give her that..

also be sure to accomodate her feelings about the changes....nightlights and 'big sister' type books, arts and crafts projects to keep her happy and busy when out of school..these things can help her feel like a regular kid which is important as well....

good luck and mazal tov!

amother

Mon, Nov 05 2012, 12:44 pm

last night when I sat down to nurse baby after putting rest of crew to bed I told dd to come sit and shmooze with me, we chatted, told stories and jokes, saw her laugh a little, especially when the baby gave the cutest sneeze! She seems to have calmed a bit,

I think storms and blackouts really freak her out. (last summer when a storm started suddenly, I sent the kids in and quickly gathered all the outdoor toys to put under the porch and she was screaming and crying by the window I should come in already, I explained to her im coming I just needed to secure outdoor items, but she was hysterical). once I came in she calmed down. hopefully things with storm aftermath, new baby, and going back to school will settle soon and she can be herself again