I hope this site is not bringing down good frum women!

chani8

Thu, Dec 20 2012, 5:33 am

rachel91 wrote:

I can somehow understand the op, when I first came to this site I kind of couldn't figure it out and some things seemed quite weird to me, now I understand that there are many different people with different backgrounds here. But to be honest a site like this can really have influence on some of your opinions, not only halachic things but other things as well, it's not that the other posters write something wrong, it's just that if you read so many different opinions each day your view on things could change as well.
I actually wanted to ask a question like this once ' did your views on certain things change since joining imamother' something like this Smile

http://imamother.com/forum/vie.....anged

http://imamother.com/forum/vie.....anged

Inspired

Thu, Dec 20 2012, 6:09 am

DrMom wrote:

The original post was offensive because it was basically a warning to the haredi/yeshivish posters (I.e. "good frum women") not to allow their ways to be "corrupted" by the advice of those with a more "modern" hashkafa (I.e., "bad not-frum women").

I agree and I am NOT one of the "modern" posters.

MrsDash

Thu, Dec 20 2012, 9:15 am

Wow! I've experienced the complete opposite. Since joining this site, I've become more religious, and informed about many aspects of Judaism. Yes, I've seen many posts from very bigoted, closed minded individuals, but that's who they are, and what they believe. As long as someone doesn't specifically attack me, and my beliefs, I have no beef with them. Everyone is entitled to practice Judaism the way they see fit, or whatever works for them, for whatever reason. Everyone has a "story." There are numerous reasons why people practice the way that they do. Who am I to make harsh judgements of anyone? How could anyone? We are conversing via interweb. We have no clue what is on the other side of that username. Yael accepted these members. By putting their beliefs under scrutiny, and claiming they aren't frum, they are wrong, etc, you are essentially questioning Yael's judgement. A few stragglers get through here, and there, but for the most part, the people here are legit, genuine, frum ladies. Frum has a broad definition in todays world. There are so many sects of religious Jews from all over the world. Debates are fine, but when it turns into personal attacks, the entire thread/topic turns sour, and ruins everyones good time.

Grandmama

Thu, Dec 20 2012, 9:47 am

Any woman on this site, or on the internet, is already placing herself in grave danger of going "down". OY!
But the Torah has been around for thousands of years.
It's all in the Torah.
Everything going on today has been going on since the Torah was given to us.
Are we worried about our children and the future? Of course we are, like all parents before us.
Each generation appears to be more awful and crazy than the one before it.
But things have not changed that much at all, maybe the awareness is greater.

Coming on to this site will not make anyone sin more than they did in the past.
Most people use this site to vent, get a good recipe or two, or a good recommendation on their various shopping or other needs.
No one uses this site to pasken, it is used to open discussions and see other people's point of view.
By being on this site, I learned to have more respect for the modern orthodox viewpoint.
I still have not changed my lifestyle one iota.
My suppers have improved somewhat....I made a few friends.

But chasidim are more meikel in many things anyway. (With the haskama of our local Rav of course!)
Yay for being chasidish!

squirrel

Thu, Dec 20 2012, 10:23 am

chani8 wrote:

I have no problem cutting OP some slack. She's just hit "culture shock" here. I think she's been put in her place for awhile. And she'll either learn to chill, or start to feel religiously guilty for being here and leave.

sorry dear but that didnt work and thanks for your kind words.

squirrel

Thu, Dec 20 2012, 10:47 am

okay, I did not get to read through all posts but I am writing on behalf of those who messaged via pm for fear of being intimidated on here and that is my point, this site is chasing away some of the right wing crowd, people are made to feel stupid for being more stringent and feel many womens minds are closed to the fact that being ultra frum and normal go together.

Clarissa

Thu, Dec 20 2012, 10:54 am

squirrel wrote:

The site, and others like it, have also driven away more liberal people. So what? This is like the real world (although a more restricted version) where you're going to meet different types of people, learn from them, sometimes be angered and alienated by them but also sometimes find common ground. You can make that into something positive or into something negative. The choice is yours.

squirrel

Thu, Dec 20 2012, 10:56 am

Inspired wrote:

Yeah, long time posters who are leaving over being too frum for this site are messaging someone with 80 posts to come to their defense. uhhuh.

You see this is exactly what I mean outright calling someone a liar. Bashing, name calling, making people feels stupid for acting according to halacha...

Clarissa

Thu, Dec 20 2012, 10:58 am

squirrel wrote:

Inspired wrote:

Yeah, long time posters who are leaving over being too frum for this site are messaging someone with 80 posts to come to their defense. uhhuh.

You see this is exactly what I mean outright calling someone a liar. Bashing, name calling, making people feels stupid for acting according to halacha...

You have 90 posts, a bunch of them on this thread. I honestly don't know what you're trying to do, here. Not to be insulting, but you come to a new message board where people have known each other for years but where new posters are welcome, and you start fighting and complaining. Do you do this in every new situation? How does it usually work out for you?

theprocastinator

Thu, Dec 20 2012, 11:14 am

squirrel wrote:

Then create your own site.

Barbara

Thu, Dec 20 2012, 11:23 am

Clarissa wrote:

Not to mention that about 75 of your 90 posts have been as amother. That's a mighty high percentage of anonymous posting for a newbie.

And all but 3 of the non-anonymous postings are in this thread.

Clarissa, you need to change your username to Encyclopedia Brown. But don't change your avatar. It could bring down good frum women, but its worth it.

Isramom8

Thu, Dec 20 2012, 11:25 am

OP, you have a few options:

1. Reply to posts you consider misleading and try to correct whatever you consider negative messages.
2. Post only in the Chareidi, Yeshivish or other sections where you feel comfortable.
3. Don't visit this website.
4. Find a different site (or try to start one) with different entrance and posting criteria.
5. Keep coming here and deal with it.

You might have expressed your feelings as follows: "I am concerned that women on this site, who have been innocent about certain ideas and practices till now, are being exposed to ideas and practices that are unnecessary for them to hear about, because learning about these things might tempt them to change their standards for the worse. Can other posters relate to my concerns, and post about the pros and cons of this happening?"

ally

Thu, Dec 20 2012, 11:34 am

Barbara wrote:

Clarissa wrote:

Not to mention that about 75 of your 90 posts have been as amother. That's a mighty high percentage of anonymous posting for a newbie.

Oh, I loved Encyclopedia Brown.

Chayalle

Thu, Dec 20 2012, 11:40 am

ally wrote:

Barbara wrote:

Clarissa wrote:

Not to mention that about 75 of your 90 posts have been as amother. That's a mighty high percentage of anonymous posting for a newbie.

Oh, I loved Encyclopedia Brown.

Oh but then we will have to send quarters to Clarissa. That's alot of quarters.

squirrel

Thu, Dec 20 2012, 11:45 am

Isramom8 wrote:

I feel like im in prison being told what to do and I have the choice to word it my way.
Actually, I did try and reply to women misleading someone seeking advice where her dh was not davening, wearing tzitzus ect and it was affecting her shalom bayis greatly and when some wise people told her to talk to her rav then all the rude comments came pouring in.

saw50st8

Thu, Dec 20 2012, 11:49 am

squirrel wrote:

Isramom8 wrote:

So people have different opinions? LOL

Signed, amother who's husband faithfully wears tzitzis and davens etc.