When you go home for Pesach....($$$)

yoyosma

Thu, Jan 25 2007, 6:39 pm

Do you give your parents money towards the expenses of the Chag?
We always give a bit of money whichever set of parents we are spending the Yom Tov with.

amother

Thu, Jan 25 2007, 7:29 pm

When we go to my parents we dont give them anything since they are B"H comfortable, On th other hand for the last few years we were giving my inlaws money towards pesach even when we didnt go to them.
They excepted gladly which proves to me that they can really use it.

amother

Thu, Jan 25 2007, 8:36 pm

Do any of you think parents/in laws would be insulted if you tried to offer money?
Personally, we bring some of the wine.

Flowerchild

Thu, Jan 25 2007, 8:38 pm

I wish we had a family to go to for pesach, I do the entire pesach myself, except for cleaning that is.

dr pepper

Thu, Jan 25 2007, 8:45 pm

we are having my IL's over for pesach...

We've never gone away for Pesach, but we have occasionally gone for other chagim. We never offer money but bring wine, meat, etc and I do a lot of the cooking.

DefyGravity

Thu, Jan 25 2007, 8:48 pm

I cook, clean, and work my butt off when I visit my family over the holidays. No way am I paying them as well. My parents don't pay me when they stay at my house, I'm not going to pay them either. They're my family, I shouldn't have to pay them like I'm going to a hotel.

I understand that food over holidays is pricey, however, that's the only time I visit my family. If I lived in town, I'd probably come to them for many more meals, and they'd be shelling a lot more $$$ for food than they do now. Also, they're not making any more food than they would be if we didn't come.

amother

Thu, Jan 25 2007, 9:45 pm

we bring the meat and chicken to my inlaws, and other stuff that you can get only in NY.
my mil writes us a check to pay us back but we never cash it, although she always begs us to.

GAMZu

Thu, Jan 25 2007, 9:50 pm

I think it's more tactful to bring food/wine or help out than to bring $.

yoyosma

Thu, Jan 25 2007, 10:11 pm

Well, I live in NY, my parents live in California and they can get everything there.
Both my husband and I come from large families and our parents spend a lot of money for food for a lot of people. We are never home alone for Y"T. I know they spend over a $1500 for two weeks!
I dont feel like its a hotel, I cant help with the cleaning because I dont come home on time and I spend the entire Yom Tov with them. I help during Yom Tov but dont feel like its enough.
Of course I offer money to help with the expenses and I dont think its rude!

stem

Thu, Jan 25 2007, 10:41 pm

We usually bring a gift of towels, kitchen appliance or bedding which helps them with all the preps and onslaught of guests. Once we tried to give money, but my MIL was so insulted that we had to think of more subtle ways to help out, like going shopping for food and "forgetting" to give her the receipt.

MMEC123

Fri, Jan 26 2007, 10:23 am

We always go to my parents and they would never take anything even if we tried. They LOVE having us and it is their absolute pleasure to do all the work though I always try to help anyway...

greenfire

Fri, Jan 26 2007, 10:35 am

Lillyofthevalley wrote:

I wish we had a family to go to for pesach, I do the entire pesach myself, except for cleaning that is.

So Lilly - do you just skip the cleaning LOL - sounds good to me

shoy18

Fri, Jan 26 2007, 10:35 am

My parents would never take money, but my mother never says no to helping with the cooking which I do alot of.

Ruchel

Fri, Jan 26 2007, 10:40 am

amother wrote:

Do any of you think parents/in laws would be insulted if you tried to offer money?

My parents and generally my family get very offended if we try to "help" that way. I think it makes them feel like we don't feel "at home" with them.

chocolate moose

Fri, Jan 26 2007, 11:16 am

The few times we went away, we always wrote them a check . . . it was good friends and it was necessary!

Pickle Lady

Fri, Jan 26 2007, 11:32 am

Yoyo I think it depends on the family. Some families can afford it and some can't. I think its perfectly fine for a couple who is married and has children to give a little bit of $$ to the parents for hosting the chag. I mean come on, you would be spending $$ if you were at home. For you Yoyo you guys are already spending alot of money just to go to your family. Its probably cheaper to do pesach at home for you but you go to be with family.

Personaly I find going away just as tough as staying home for pesach. BUT the Y"T is a great time to spend with family.