If you have nothing nice to say shut your mouth

willow

Wed, Feb 20 2013, 11:14 am

Why all the criticizing about Purim mm, the poems the themes?
It doesn't float your boat? Lots of things won't that is reality. Enjoy what you will
and let others enjoy what they do well.
Please remember if it doesn't work for you that is fine but others do enjoy it.
Don't compare and just let go the constant bashing.

causemommysaid

Wed, Feb 20 2013, 11:27 am

willow wrote:

I think its more the drunken craziness that bothers people and when you complain about one thing it always leads to another regardless of whether it is really connected.

I think themes are cute even though I dont do them. I think the drunk vomiting and other disgusting behaviors are out of place on purim and detracts from the yom tov regardless of whether its my family or not.

Ema of 5

Wed, Feb 20 2013, 11:30 am

I totally agree!! People seem to feel that they need to comment on every single thing.

amother

Wed, Feb 20 2013, 11:54 am

willow wrote:

If you have nothing nice to say "shut your mouth"

a little drastic don't you think??? especially considering how nice you want people to be Confused

try to consider the fact that some people feel befuddled by all the showy put-on; we're trying to celebrate purim in a more ingenuous manner

bigsis144

Wed, Feb 20 2013, 11:58 am

I think people are commenting on the social pressure created by "themes" and "poems".

It's nowhere near the level of, say, commenting on wedding extravagances and what that means for the Jewish people in terms of our gashmius and ruchniyus, but it feels like a microcosm of larger issues. Hence, discussion.

I don't think anyone is just stam saying, "D'oh, I think themes are stoo-pid." Which wouldn't be nice, and is pointless. But I have no problem with discussing, "When did something unnecessary become a social obligation?"

willow

Wed, Feb 20 2013, 12:05 pm

There are so many threads on here condemning and making so much fun of those that do themes, or like to write poems or whatever they choose to do. I find it baffling why make people feel bad. Sorry if my tittle is harsh I was trying to make this thread eye catching
I don't mind it being changed.

zissy2004

Wed, Feb 20 2013, 12:06 pm

Since I dont believe in them or wouldn't be able to know how to begin to do themes, I don't even open any of these threads. To each their own. Are ppl looking down on the ones who don't do themes? Oy I hope not....

amother

Wed, Feb 20 2013, 12:11 pm

Some people are pathetic .. It's a nebach

Clarissa

Wed, Feb 20 2013, 12:14 pm

This is the funniest thing ever. A thread in the Purim section, and the title is If you have nothing nice to say shut your mouth.

Happy Purim, everyone!

note: I adjusted the subject line in this post

imasoftov

Wed, Feb 20 2013, 12:27 pm

As Dorothy Parker (or was it Alice Roosevelt Longworth?) might have said, if you don't have anything nice to say, post as Amother ...

willow

Wed, Feb 20 2013, 12:27 pm

ok you still just want to poke fun I get it.

eschaya

Wed, Feb 20 2013, 12:32 pm

willow wrote:

Thank you OP.

amother

Wed, Feb 20 2013, 12:33 pm

willow wrote:

Sorry if my tittle is harsh I was trying to make this thread eye catching
I don't mind it being changed.

You're as entitled to your title as we are to our opinions. And we all already saw it.

freidasima

Wed, Feb 20 2013, 12:37 pm

To some of us not living in American or anglo enclaves and living here for most of our lives, the idea of themes or MM poems is just plain alien to us. Nothing wrong with it, could be nice and everything, it is just something I for one have never seen done or heard of until Imamother.

The problem is not with the idea of themes or poems or the like, as someone wrote, the problem begins when the poem or the theme begins to outshadow the mitzva and to stress out posters. At that point it is no longer alien or foreign to me, it becomes problematic or so it seems, because it is then part of a social issue of having to go along with what everyone is doing and not really getting any great pleasure or reward for it. There are things that we all do that we may not be totally happy with, but we do them because the rewards are much more beneficial than the issue is troublesome to us. But I don't see that happening with the MM threads and women who are spending more time on Purim than on Pesach - and I don't mean those women learning how to lein megilla (!) or those who are going away for Pesach and have cleaning help every week anyhow and are just closing off the house.

When I see threads like that I feel like I am living in a different universe.

Tablepoetry

Wed, Feb 20 2013, 12:43 pm

freidasima wrote:

To some of us not living in American or anglo enclaves and living here for most of our lives, the idea of themes or MM poems is just plain alien to us.

When I see threads like that I feel like I am living in a different universe.

What she said.
Never ever in my life received a themed MM. I never knew they existed till imamother.

It would be nice to receive one, just for once. Please send your themed MM to Tablepoetry, Israeli city, Israel.
Believe me, I will really appreciate it, and as you can see by my name, I will give your purim poem the full attention it deserves.

amother

Wed, Feb 20 2013, 1:23 pm

I don't know where you live freidasima, but my relatives in yerushalayim and bnei brak have done themed mm and costumes many years ago.

Tablepoetry

Wed, Feb 20 2013, 2:59 pm

amother wrote:

I don't know where you live freidasima, but my relatives in yerushalayim and bnei brak have done themed mm and costumes many years ago.

Not FS, but....
Anglos, I assume?
I don't get any misholchai manot from anglos.....

etky

Wed, Feb 20 2013, 3:10 pm

I have a close childhood friend who made aliya a few years ago to the yishuv across from me. Since her aliya, every Purim I've been oohing and ah-ing her themed and accessorized MM and costumes, never realizing, until imamother, that this is what people do in the States (in some communities) as a matter of course. And here I was thinking she was so incredibly original....

naturalmom5

Wed, Feb 20 2013, 4:37 pm

freidasima wrote:

Last edited by naturalmom5 on Thu, Feb 21 2013, 11:26 am; edited 1 time in total

freidasima

Wed, Feb 20 2013, 4:49 pm

Yeah Yeah Natural, I've read that here too on Imamother and understand it fully. Again, if this is someone's way of expressing her creativity, terrific! There is nothing WRONG with themed MMS, poems or anything else. It's not something I would even think of doing because I've never seen it nor would I want to spend any time on it, seems to be a total waste of time. It's like the fancy things people write on wedding cards, the long megillas, and as my dh and I say, it's enough to write "mazel tov from family X freidasima and dh" and give a nice check and believe me, all they read is the number on the check and the name of the family to note down on their lists if they have them.

But the problem begins with all the stressed out women. If it were something they were doing as a real hiddur mitzva, ok. But again, a hiddur is no reason to get stressed out beyond belief. If it becomes too expensive, like I tell my neighbors with big families who feel pressured to buy fancy costumes for the kids - the mitzva isn't anything having to do with costumes and spend your money on a nicer MM or more matonos le'evyonim and not on fancier more expensive costumes...but to each their own, just please, stop complaining about it.

I get women who complain that they have problems making it to meggilla reading because of the kids and having to go late at night or early in the morning. I get women who complain that all the cleaning chometz for pesach is hard when you have little kids who have brought chometz into every corner and shoe drawer. I get women who complain about the high price of shmura matzo who only eat shmura, I get women who complain about having no strength by the time they get to the seder or making a really nice seuda for so many people. I even get the women who complain that they are so tired of their bochurim coming home drunk on Purim (yeah we have it here too but ONLY bochurim...if married men do it, in my circles it is considered a shanda and they are drunkards, not purim mitzva boys)..

But I don't get women complaining that they can't find a theme, and that they are super stressed about writing poems that no one will read and that are not a hiddur mitzva. Let them complain about not finding the right "vort" of Torah to write on the letter accompanying the MM? That I get. But a poem? LETS GET REAL and if one is so frum and so stifled to find outlets for creativity, then maybe have the nicest illuminated Divrei Torah accompanying an MM...not a rhyming poem that no one reads anyhow and has nothing to do with the mitzva.

And for those saying that they have hear of themed MM in EY, maybe they have american friends. My close friends and neighbors to whom I give MM and get from, they are either Israeli, european born or if Anglos have been here like me for decades, and the few who have made aliyah in the past 15 years don't come from those sectors of the religious world where they do themes, more likely they just buy MM packages from their local kosher caterer and send.