Attn teachers do u expect $$??

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Purim

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luvtocook

Fri, Feb 22 2013, 10:27 am

All Morahs out there do u expect $ to be given inside ur students mm or do u expect a nice note or special mm?? I live in brooklyn and don't kno what I shud include pls help!!!!

Cookies n Cream

Fri, Feb 22 2013, 10:31 am

Did you tip on Chanuka?

My friend that teaches preschool told me that most parents only tip once a year(Chanukah) and give a nice MM for Purim.

luvtocook

Fri, Feb 22 2013, 10:34 am

Ye I was the class mother and saw how much they got ..... It was around $100 for 28 kids crazy little

momoftwo2

Fri, Feb 22 2013, 10:40 am

I didnt expect anything but I got a tip in each of my 20 students' mm.

Cookies n Cream

Fri, Feb 22 2013, 10:40 am

I would tip then.
IF you gave a tip on your own Chanuka time, then I wouldn't tip again.

amother

Fri, Feb 22 2013, 10:57 am

My husband does P3. We do not expect anything from anyone but we do appreciate those who do send.

Those that gave cash or gift card gave $20-50. A nice note was always included in the MM. No student gave chanukah and purim, it was always one or the other. And some students never gave him anything and thats ok too.

MimiMommy

Fri, Feb 22 2013, 11:35 am

Why wait for Purim to tip the teacher? Giving her a "nicer" MM and/or a check had nothing to do with the holiday. Just call a spade a spade.

SingALong

Fri, Feb 22 2013, 11:59 am

I usually tip on Purim. if my kid has 1 teacher I'll give like $20, if they have 2+ then I give less maybe 15 for a teacher, 10 for the assistant. depends.

fruitsalad

Fri, Feb 22 2013, 12:09 pm

When I was a preschool teacher we got for Chanukah a gift certificate from the whole class and purom we got separate nut now when money is tight by me: fully understand If 'd someone doesn't.give

Ruchel

Mon, Feb 25 2013, 5:56 am

Teacher here, never tipped (I'm payed...), no MM (I'm not their friend or something). Smile

amother

Mon, Feb 25 2013, 7:16 am

In the girls' schools that I've dealt with, money is collected for all teachers for chanukah. MM usually is delivered with a nice note, not sure how many, if any, are accompanied by money.

In the boy's yeshivos that I've dealt with, many give money. Most give chanukah and/or purim, and some give more at different times of the year too.

Ever since DH has been teaching, and getting tips at various times of tthe year, he has made sure to tip our boys' rebbes various times during the year.

One boy once brought MM to DH in school. He gave a bottle of wine and a check. The joke since then has been that the check, the most important part of the MM, is the second "min" in the MM!

Tablepoetry

Mon, Feb 25 2013, 9:16 am

Off topic, but I find this custom terrible. B'h it's illegal in public schools in Israel.

Just like you are not allowed to 'tip' your (public) doctor, or 'tip' your income tax auditor, or 'tip' the secretary at bituach leumi, you should not be allowed to tip your teacher. It borders on bribery. It can cause teachers to treat children differently.

Even the best teacher can't be 100% impartial after receiving money from a pupil. What, will she fail the child whose mother sent the most generous tip in the class, along with a huge MM? She can't do that.

Faigy86

Mon, Feb 25 2013, 9:26 am

Tablepoetry wrote:

Even the best teacher can't be 100% impartial after receiving money from a pupil. What, will she fail the child whose mother sent the most generous tip in the class, along with a huge MM? She can't do that.

Which is why people who really don't have the means to give an extra generous tip are stretching themselves beyond their means because they don't want their child to be treated differently than the rest of the class who does tip.

What a sad state we are in Sad

roze22

Mon, Feb 25 2013, 10:25 am

Tablepoetry wrote:

Interesting, because I dont see this way AT ALL. Ive taught high school and middle school, and the gift a student gives is just that- a gift. it does not effect the way I grade them at all. Maybe its different in younger ages?

I dont expect money or gifts, but its always nice to get some validation that I am doing the right thing, and a thank you from a student or a parent. That is why I give my kids teachers gifts- and only if I already like the way they are treating my kid. I expect it to NOT effect they way they treat them. I would give my doctor a nice note or a present if there was a reason (special support or something), or anyone else I felt went above and beyond for me and my family. Should not be expected, but I dont see it as the ruin of society

Tablepoetry

Mon, Feb 25 2013, 11:33 am

roze22 wrote:

and the gift a student gives is just that- a gift. it does not effect the way I grade them at all. Maybe its different in younger ages?

Maybe you are an exception. However, there is a reason why people in certain positions are not allowed to accept gifts/tips. Maybe it starts out as a 'sign of appreciation' but it quickly can become bribery/ a way of winning the teacher's favor.

A teacher is a human being, and after a parent has gone out of her way to show major appreciation by baking her huge gourmet cupcakes, making homemade chocolate truffles, and slipping $50 in the MM basket...well, after receiving this Modest Note of Appreciation, the teacher can't very well fail the child on the report card, or call the truancy officer, or send the child home because he was caught scribbling graffitti. No, that Note of Appreciation will always be in the back of her mind, even in less extreme cases, and will cause her to be extra gentle with the child, because she doesn't want to seem ungrateful.

It's only natural.

roze22

Tue, Feb 26 2013, 1:46 am

Tablepoetry wrote:

roze22 wrote:

and the gift a student gives is just that- a gift. it does not effect the way I grade them at all. Maybe its different in younger ages?

A teacher is a human being, and after a parent has gone out of her way to show major appreciation by baking her huge gourmet cupcakes, making homemade chocolate truffles, and slipping $50 in the MM basket...well, after receiving this Modest Note of Appreciation, the teacher can't very well fail the child on the report card, or call the truancy officer, or send the child home because he was caught scribbling graffitti. No, that Note of Appreciation will always be in the back of her mind, even in less extreme cases, and will cause her to be extra gentle with the child, because she doesn't want to seem ungrateful.

It's only natural.

well I hope Im not the exception, ut the students actions speak for themselves, not the bribes. If the student had always been that way, then I prob would consider the gift a bribe and not accept it. But an average student giving a nice gift? I wouldnt bump their grade for it. In fact, I have given students detention and failed grades after giving gifts- they reap what they sow.

And so this doesnt count for end of the year gifts? Its ok because then I dont have the student any longer?

I see all your points, I just hope that my kids teachers arent that shallow. Maybe if I got or gave $100K- but $20? for a years worth of educating my child? I just want to show that I understand where they are coming from, and to thank them for a job well done.

Culturedpearls

Tue, Feb 26 2013, 2:08 am

In my kids schools each class collects an equal amount to buy the teacher a gift at the end of the school year. A friend of mine always gives each teacher an additional gift from herself, because she feels that the said teacher will /does treat her next child coming up better. It's only human.

Tablepoetry

Tue, Feb 26 2013, 4:45 am

roze22 wrote:

And so this doesnt count for end of the year gifts? Its ok because then I dont have the student any longer?

.

Around here, end of year gifts are just as illegal. Often the class will get TOGETHER to buy the teacher a bouquet of flowers or something, but in public schools it's just not acceptable to give your own private gift (I know Israeli private cheders are a different story).

mamommommy

Tue, Feb 26 2013, 5:20 am

Maybe I'm completely out of it, but it never even occurred to me to slip money into the mishloach manos for teachers. When did this become a thing? We give chanukah gelt on chanukah (that's a thing, right?) and a "thank you" gift/money at the end of the year. That's it for money.

Not only that, but my kids don't even give teachers a very fancy mishloach manos. I make very few "nice" mishloach manos for close friends and neighbors, and then I have some things for my kids to use to make their own mishloach manos to give to whomever they want (which usually includes their teachers). K"h, if I also had to make nice mishloach manos for teachers, I'd be making over another dozen of them!! That's just crazy and costly. In any case, it's coming from my kids, not from me. It never occurred to me to do it differently.

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