Cleaning lady threw out my cake

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Forum -> Household Management

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vintagebknyc

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 9:36 am

I'm only going to chime in and say that I don't think it's crazy or mean to say she ate the entire cake. I could eat an entire cake in one sitting, and have.

33055

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 9:43 am

Barbara wrote:

Indeed. If I'm going to feel sorry, its because it doesn't seem that she had two brain cells to rub together, and being a moron isn't an indictable offense.

This is what Barbara wrote about Wendy Runge yesterday the same day she is calling the ladies on this thread, "plain nasty and cruel". This is a real person with friends and family on here who care about her. It is unlikely that the cleaning lady who is not identified by name has friends or family on this site.

Barbara

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 10:21 am

Squishy wrote:

Barbara wrote:

Indeed. If I'm going to feel sorry, its because it doesn't seem that she had two brain cells to rub together, and being a moron isn't an indictable offense.

Indeed, I wrote that. Of course, this person -- who stalks me and makes nasty comments about me on a very regular basis -- cuts the rest of what I said about Runge. Before being sentenced, on the very day that she was to stand before a judge professing to be sorry for what she confessed to doing, she blogged that she had done nothing wrong. In the days and weeks approaching her sentencing, she blogged about how the judge had acted improperly, and accusing the prosecution of anti-semitism. This demonstrated an astounding lack of judgment on her part. Her attorneys should have stopped her. She should have had the sense to stop herself. And there is no question that her sentence would have been a mere fraction of what was imposed had she done so. If that's not idiocy, I don't know what is.

But hey, Runge CONFESSED. She ADMITTED, under oath, that she defrauded the state of Iowa out of thousands of dollars, and that she knowingly falsified documents. We need to excuse her. This woman says she thought that the cake was leftovers that were left out to be thrown away. We shoudl spend pages calling her a liar.

Barbara

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 10:25 am

vintagebknyc wrote:

I'm only going to chime in and say that I don't think it's crazy or mean to say she ate the entire cake. I could eat an entire cake in one sitting, and have.

Well, its calling her a liar. And its theft, as the cake was not hers to eat.

Not only that, but its making these comments with no basis. You have no clue what the cake actually looked like, or if someone else had eaten a portion. You have no idea where it was, or what it was surrounded by. You have no information about the cleaning lady. But you're willing to say she's a moron and she stole.

The first few posts were "maybe ..." Okay. But it just becomes distasteful after a while to keep on with the 'She's so stupid ..." posts over and over and over.

naturalmom5

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 10:43 am

Barbara wrote:

Squishy wrote:

Barbara wrote:

Indeed. If I'm going to feel sorry, its because it doesn't seem that she had two brain cells to rub together, and being a moron isn't an indictable offense.

Barbara what cave have you been hiding in.
[removed]

You know that

sequoia

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 10:50 am

Oh my gosh naturalmom, you know there are normal communities out there, right?

If this is how the people around you are, why do you live there?

You regularly describe/mock these extreme views, but who is forcing you to stay in such a community?

33055

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 10:54 am

Barbara wrote:

Squishy wrote:

Barbara wrote:

Indeed. If I'm going to feel sorry, its because it doesn't seem that she had two brain cells to rub together, and being a moron isn't an indictable offense.

I cut the quote because I was specifically asked to because the threads get too long.

It is pretty absurd to think I stalk you. I just dislike bullies. Your remarks about Wendy Runge are plain mean nasty and hurtful. Oh please many innocent people take pleas and as a lawyer you are well aware of it. Whether she is actually guilty or not is not the point. The point is she is Chossidmom's friend and Chossidmom deserves our respect same as a cleaning lady who will likely never read this thread.

You feel free to mock those you decide need mocking. What you said about the Satmar Rabbis is beyond disgusting. Again this is a real person with friends and family on this site.

jerusalem-girl

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 10:55 am

Oh please, naturalmom.

your stereotype of frum stereotypes is disgusting.

Raisin

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 10:58 am

I would tend to believe the cleaning lady when she says she thought it was to be thrown out. (unless she has a track record of a) taking food without permission and eating eat, and/or b)you have reason to believe she is a compulsive overeater. But I would be very nervous to leave her around food, if she doesn't know that is perfectly safe to leave an iced cake out of the fridge. It is possible that she somehow ruined or dropped the cake and made up this story, but why lie? I'd rather my employer thought I dropped the cake then threw it out. Accidents are inevitable, incredible stupidity is not.

Barbara - I would leave the butter out during the day so it reaches spreadable consistancy but I store it in the fridge. My cleaning lady will do things like stick open jars of mayo or ketchup in the cupboard. Maybe fine for a day or two but not for longer. But matza meal goes in the fridge for some reason.

But I have told her to ALWAYS ask me before throwing something out.

naturalmom5

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 11:01 am

sequoia wrote:

Why thank you Sequoia.... You are buying me a house in a more normal community. Smile

That's so kind of you

JoyInTheMorning

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 11:17 am

I'd guess that Barbara and likely some other posters are reacting not only to this thread but to a general level of disrespect that some imamother members have shown to cleaning staff. I've seen this as well, and it has bothered me a lot.

But I don't think that's what I'm seeing here. This is a case where an employee has done something that really flies in the face of common sense. Yes, I can be sympathetic. There are cultural differences and it can be hard to know, as in your example, that butter belongs in the fridge. It's doubtless harder when one works for an Orthodox family. We throw out or give away tons of food before Pesach, we throw out perfectly edible food because of a seemingly trivial mix-up of pots. I get that it can be hard. On the other hand, part of what makes a cleaning lady competent is her ability to know what should and should not be thrown out and certainly, to ask if in doubt.

It may seem cruel to judge a person's intelligence by their ability to recognize a birthday cake. But that's life. Little kids, when they're being evaluated for special services or for preschool need to be able to identify pictures of birthday cakes. It's an important part of our culture.

It's absolutely true that we need to treat our employees with respect. But it's also true that we should expect our employees to have a degree of professionalism in whatever it is that they do. Cleaning ladies are paid more than many people I know. I last hired one, briefly, around four years ago, and I paid $15 an hour, which is more than double minimum wage, and is comparable to what someone starting out as a licensed practical nurse gets or a proofreader gets. It's pretty close to what college juniors slaving away as Java programmer interns get in my company. While I don't like the fact that many people get paid such low hourly rates, the fact is that a certain level of competence is expected even when hourly rates are at that level.

Respect cuts both ways and I feel sorry for the amother who spent hours baking and decorating her kid's birthday cake and whose effort turned out to be entirely wasted. I thought she was remarkably calm under the circumstances.

Braina Foshos

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 11:22 am

OP, I totally get it! My cleaning lady took it upon herself to clean out my fridge on erev Pesach- even tho I cleaned it for Pesach the day before- and I noticed a half hour before yom tov that she threw out my Z'roah!

MiracleMama

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 11:24 am

Braina Foshos wrote:

I wouldn't equate throwing out a bone, that really does look like garbage to anyone who doesn't know better, to throwing out a whole, untouched birthday cake.

Braina Foshos

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 11:39 am

Miracle mama, from the perspective of the cleaning lady (whom I have tremendous hakaras hatov to, and am careful to express it to her), theres no comparison. But I can totally relate to the emotions of the OP! A half hr before the seder and I have no z'roah!

amme

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 11:56 am

Barbara, I hear that you feel frustration with those who in your opinion seemingly jump to vilify people so long as they are secular and seemingly immedietly come to the defense of anyone who is orthodox. However, perhaps others would learn they are wrong for this if instead of doing the opposite (which does seem to be your tendency) you might just state, in both cases, that it is wrong to demonize people, especially when they can not defend themselves, or something along those lines, as opposed to vociferous bashing.

MrsDash

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 11:58 am

I apologize in advance if someone already brought this up, but is it possible the cake could have fallen on the floor or melted from the heat beyond recognition? I could understand this happening to my cake, because I have no artistic ability whatsoever, and it would indeed look like garbage.

Simple1

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 12:05 pm

Non Jewish cleaning ladies are not the only ones demonized on this site. What about all the threads about annoying things husbands, in laws, siblings and friends do?

It's frustrating when things get thrown out and I understand OP's annoyance.

Rutabaga

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 12:15 pm

MrsDash wrote:

If the cake was in a cake dome, as the OP mentioned, then I can't imagine how the cake could have fallen without damaging the dome. I believe the OP said she found the cake dome drying in the dish rack. I suppose it is likely that if the OP lives in an area currently enjoying unseasonably warm temperatures (like NY), then the frosting could have melted and made the cake look inedible to the cleaning lady.

JoyInTheMorning wrote:

Birthday cakes may not be part of the cleaning lady's culture. If all she saw was a gooey brown mess from a melting cake, maybe she should be excused for thinking that it was garbage.

Should she have asked before throwing it away? Yes, but let's not get carried away with accusations of theft and assumptions of stupidity.

OP, I am sorry that all your hard work went to waste. I hope your son was not too disappointed with the store-bought cake.

Fox

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 12:20 pm

JoyInTheMorning wrote:

It's absolutely true that we need to treat our employees with respect. But it's also true that we should expect our employees to have a degree of professionalism in whatever it is that they do. Cleaning ladies are paid more than many people I know. I last hired one, briefly, around four years ago, and I paid $15 an hour, which is more than double minimum wage, and is comparable to what someone starting out as a licensed practical nurse gets or a proofreader gets. It's pretty close to what college juniors slaving away as Java programmer interns get in my company. While I don't like the fact that many people get paid such low hourly rates, the fact is that a certain level of competence is expected even when hourly rates are at that level.

Respect cuts both ways and I feel sorry for the amother who spent hours baking and decorating her kid's birthday cake and whose effort turned out to be entirely wasted. I thought she was remarkably calm under the circumstances.

While treating household help badly is disgusting, regarding household help paternalistically is even worse. It's symptomatic of an underlying classism, racism, or xenophobia that is obvious to everyone except the self-congratulating employer or advocate.

Were this a forum for managing partners of law firms; attending physicians responsible for residents; or CEOs with a slew of VPs under them, we'd hear the same stories. However, the objects of derision would be the lawyers, doctors, and MBAs who do boneheaded things. "Can you believe my VP for Finance didn't even notice the column of depreciated income on the earnings report for the Lizards R Us subsidiary?! What a moron! Should I fire him before he single-handedly drives the stock price into the ground?"

Anyone who has ever hired someone to draft a legal document; remove an appendix; or even answer phones in an office has probably had more than a few, "What was he/she thinking?" moments. Of course, if you're honest with yourself, you probably remember a few moments in your own work life that led to your bosses' head shaking.

I, too, think the OP was remarkably philosophical about the cake. I wasn't quite as calm the time my bookkeeper ordered huge batches of company checks (cheaper when you buy a large quantity, dontcha know?!) but had the wrong account numbers printed on them. Of course, this wasn't discovered until an unpleasant call from the bank and quite a few unpleasant calls from vendors . . . !

the world's best mom

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 12:20 pm

I also thought the cleaning lady ruined the cake by accident and then cleaned up the evidence.

I once had a cleaning lady who washed my floors with toilet water. She just dipped the mop right into the toilet. That was the last time she came to my house. (I wouldn't go to her house either because she claimed to wash her own floors with toilet water also.)

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