Cleaning lady threw out my cake

naturalmom5

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 9:29 am

Fox wrote:

JoyInTheMorning wrote:

It's absolutely true that we need to treat our employees with respect. But it's also true that we should expect our employees to have a degree of professionalism in whatever it is that they do. Cleaning ladies are paid more than many people I know. I last hired one, briefly, around four years ago, and I paid $15 an hour, which is more than double minimum wage, and is comparable to what someone starting out as a licensed practical nurse gets or a proofreader gets. It's pretty close to what college juniors slaving away as Java programmer interns get in my company. While I don't like the fact that many people get paid such low hourly rates, the fact is that a certain level of competence is expected even when hourly rates are at that level.

Respect cuts both ways and I feel sorry for the amother who spent hours baking and decorating her kid's birthday cake and whose effort turned out to be entirely wasted. I thought she was remarkably calm under the circumstances.

While treating household help badly is disgusting, regarding household help paternalistically is even worse. It's symptomatic of an underlying classism, racism, or xenophobia that is obvious to everyone except the self-congratulating employer or advocate.

Were this a forum for managing partners of law firms; attending physicians responsible for residents; or CEOs with a slew of VPs under them, we'd hear the same stories. However, the objects of derision would be the lawyers, doctors, and MBAs who do boneheaded things. "Can you believe my VP for Finance didn't even notice the column of depreciated income on the earnings report for the Lizards R Us subsidiary?! What a moron! Should I fire him before he single-handedly drives the stock price into the ground?"

Anyone who has ever hired someone to draft a legal document; remove an appendix; or even answer phones in an office has probably had more than a few, "What was he/she thinking?" moments. Of course, if you're honest with yourself, you probably remember a few moments in your own work life that led to your bosses' head shaking.

I, too, think the OP was remarkably philosophical about the cake. I wasn't quite as calm the time my bookkeeper ordered huge batches of company checks (cheaper when you buy a large quantity, dontcha know?!) but had the wrong account numbers printed on them. Of course, this wasn't discovered until an unpleasant call from the bank and quite a few unpleasant calls from vendors . . . !

What she said Smile

etky

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 9:33 am

the world's best mom wrote:

I also thought the cleaning lady ruined the cake by accident and then cleaned up the evidence.

I once had a cleaning lady who washed my floors with toilet water. She just dipped the mop right into the toilet. That was the last time she came to my house. (I wouldn't go to her house either because she claimed to wash her own floors with toilet water also.)

This encapsulates the problem very aptly. How on earth are you supposed to anticipate something like that? These unpredictable lapses of common sense: throwing out an entire cake, putting filthy, germy floor cleaning rags on a kitchen counter, using toilet water to clean the floors - are all things that you can't caution against, and indicate that something is amiss with the person you hired. From my own experience, there's no point in prolonging the relationship.

Barbara

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 9:36 am

JoyInTheMorning wrote:

I'd guess that Barbara and likely some other posters are reacting not only to this thread but to a general level of disrespect that some imamother members have shown to cleaning staff. I've seen this as well, and it has bothered me a lot.

But I don't think that's what I'm seeing here. This is a case where an employee has done something that really flies in the face of common sense. Yes, I can be sympathetic. There are cultural differences and it can be hard to know, as in your example, that butter belongs in the fridge. It's doubtless harder when one works for an Orthodox family. We throw out or give away tons of food before Pesach, we throw out perfectly edible food because of a seemingly trivial mix-up of pots. I get that it can be hard. On the other hand, part of what makes a cleaning lady competent is her ability to know what should and should not be thrown out and certainly, to ask if in doubt.

It may seem cruel to judge a person's intelligence by their ability to recognize a birthday cake. But that's life. Little kids, when they're being evaluated for special services or for preschool need to be able to identify pictures of birthday cakes. It's an important part of our culture.

It's absolutely true that we need to treat our employees with respect. But it's also true that we should expect our employees to have a degree of professionalism in whatever it is that they do. Cleaning ladies are paid more than many people I know. I last hired one, briefly, around four years ago, and I paid $15 an hour, which is more than double minimum wage, and is comparable to what someone starting out as a licensed practical nurse gets or a proofreader gets. It's pretty close to what college juniors slaving away as Java programmer interns get in my company. While I don't like the fact that many people get paid such low hourly rates, the fact is that a certain level of competence is expected even when hourly rates are at that level.

Respect cuts both ways and I feel sorry for the amother who spent hours baking and decorating her kid's birthday cake and whose effort turned out to be entirely wasted. I thought she was remarkably calm under the circumstances.

I'm not going to disagree with you.

It may well be that throwing out the cake was the height of idiocy. I've no way of knowing, and I certainly am in no position to criticize OP, who seemed to handle it well and, indeed, with class and grace.

Was it a fireable offense? Probably not for me, but if it is for others, so be it.

It was the subsequent ridicule that riled me. The accusations leveled and the piling on. The mocking and demeaning. And after the OP learned what happened, the accusations that she lied and stole and did who knows what else.

imamiri

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 4:36 pm

Squishy wrote:

Barbara wrote:

Squishy wrote:

Barbara wrote:

Indeed. If I'm going to feel sorry, its because it doesn't seem that she had two brain cells to rub together, and being a moron isn't an indictable offense.

This is what Barbara wrote about Wendy Runge yesterday the same day she is calling the ladies on this thread, "plain nasty and cruel". This is a real person with friends and family on here who care about her. It is unlikely that the cleaning lady who is not identified by name has friends or family on this site.

Indeed, I wrote that. Of course, this person -- who stalks me and makes nasty comments about me on a very regular basis -- cuts the rest of what I said about Runge. Before being sentenced, on the very day that she was to stand before a judge professing to be sorry for what she confessed to doing, she blogged that she had done nothing wrong. In the days and weeks approaching her sentencing, she blogged about how the judge had acted improperly, and accusing the prosecution of anti-semitism. This demonstrated an astounding lack of judgment on her part. Her attorneys should have stopped her. She should have had the sense to stop herself. And there is no question that her sentence would have been a mere fraction of what was imposed had she done so. If that's not idiocy, I don't know what is.

But hey, Runge CONFESSED. She ADMITTED, under oath, that she defrauded the state of Iowa out of thousands of dollars, and that she knowingly falsified documents. We need to excuse her. This woman says she thought that the cake was leftovers that were left out to be thrown away. We shoudl spend pages calling her a liar.

I cut the quote because I was specifically asked to because the threads get too long.

It is pretty absurd to think I stalk you. I just dislike bullies. Your remarks about Wendy Runge are plain mean nasty and hurtful. Oh please many innocent people take pleas and as a lawyer you are well aware of it. Whether she is actually guilty or not is not the point. The point is she is Chossidmom's friend and Chossidmom deserves our respect same as a cleaning lady who will likely never read this thread.

You feel free to mock those you decide need mocking. What you said about the Satmar Rabbis is beyond disgusting. Again this is a real person with friends and family on this site.

Said the person doing some bullying.

amother

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 5:19 pm

This is what I think whenever my cleaning lady does something that makes me crazy upset....

I take a deep breath and say to myself "You know, I really liked that XYZ [or "I have no idea why she thought it was OK to throw away XYZ"], but I really really hate cleaning. And with a full time job and a bunch of kids, I have no time for it either. This woman scrubbed my toilets, did 2 loads of laundry, vacuumed and washed my floors, scrubbed my tubs, dusted my knick knacks and sorted through some rotting food in my fridge. At the end of the day, I still got the better end of the bargain. I cut my cleaning lady some slack. I feel for her. Her life is far more difficult than mine. And not just because she's a cleaning lady in her late 40s. For many other reasons. We ALL make mistakes. I make them in my job all the time. It's not a big deal. We'll live".

(just as an aside, and I know this is TOTALLY too much information, but I'm going to write it anyways....The last incident I had with my cleaning lady throwing something out that shouldn't have been thrown out was this:

I had the WORST yeast infection of my life. I was climbing the walls. Nothing worked. I finally got another 3-day ovule treatment. I used one out of three doses. The next day, I could tell it was working, but I was still incredibly uncomfortable and going out of my mind.

I worked extremely late that night, got home, cooked for the next day, did some laundry, tidied my house and answered emails. Exhausted, I looked at the clock and noted in was 1am and I had to get up at 6am the next day. I thought "Better get to bed immediately. I'll just put in the ovule and go to sleep. I get to my bathroom and the box with the two remaining treatments is GONE. I cannot find it ANYWHERE. I realized that, because the treatment is sold in a large box, even though the ovules are tiny, she must have thought it was an empty box. I was SOOOO upset. I FLIPPED out. I was so frustrated because I knew I had no choice but to get in my car, drive far to a 24 hour drug store and buy another (expensive) treatment. There was no way on this earth I could go to bed without it. I had a total two year old tantrum right there in my bathroom. I cried, I punched my pillow, woke up my husband, and then went to get my stupid medication. I was a basket case the next day.

But life goes on!)

amother

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 5:29 pm

On the theme of treating cleaning staff with respect, I just have to say that I am horrified by the way my mother treats her cleaning lady. She's had her for several years, and I just cringe when I hear my mother speaking to her or speaking about her (within earshot of the cleaning lady).

If I had a better relationship with my mother, I'd be able to say something, but I cannot. I'm always so so embarrassed.

My mother things I'm too soft on my cleaning lady. But what does that mean? My cleaning lady gets away with as much 'murder' as I do in my job. I look at her service to me on the whole and I recognize that, for the most part, she is reliable (rarely cancelling), honest (isn't this the most important thing?), loyal (every other client pays her more, but we're extremely kind to her, so she stays with us because she knows we'd pay more if we could) and pleasant. She tries. I can't imagine moving to a new country, not speaking the language, and having my husband walk out of me (leaving me with three babies) to go back to my home country. Hiring this woman and accepting her for who she is, with all her faults (just as I have mine) is a form of kindness that I'm happy to pay.

DrMom

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 10:06 pm

etky wrote:

the world's best mom wrote:

Maybe she is also the MIL who lets her granddaughter play in the toilet.
http://imamother.com/forum/vie.....oilet

etky

Wed, Apr 10 2013, 11:26 pm

DrMom wrote:

etky wrote:

the world's best mom wrote:

Maybe she is also the MIL who lets her granddaughter play in the toilet.
http://imamother.com/forum/vie.....oilet