need to use a gemach :(

amother

Mon, Apr 15 2013, 11:33 am

never in a million years would I believe I would need a gemach for clothing for my children but things have gone from bad to worse and that's were I am at. if any family or friends knew that I needed to use a gemach I would be horrified and mortified. If anyone know how I can go about getting much needed clothing from a gemach in a private way I would appreciate.

vintagebknyc

Mon, Apr 15 2013, 12:16 pm

amother wrote:

amother, can you find a gemach in a different neighborhood? if you are in brooklyn, I can give you the names of TONS of secondhand stores.

please do not be embarrassed, if I had to buy new clothes at regular places I would own one pair of shoes and some underpants. as I've said on many threads, I buy nearly all my clothes at thrift. you'd only know it if I told you. in fact, am currently wearing a L&T cashmere cardigan, gap tank top, lucky brand skirt and purse, dansko clogs, and a vintage asian jacket. if my outfit cost altogether more than $30 I'd be shocked.

you can buy beautiful barely worn-clothes second hand.

wtvr

Mon, Apr 15 2013, 1:08 pm

This was posted on a community list I belong to
Young Israel of New Hyde Park has a stocked clothing gemach with adult and children's clothing, including suits, skirts and tops, outer coats for cooler weather, shoes and women's hats.

There is no cost for the clothing and families and individuals are welcome to visit. You'll find appropriate selections for yom tov and the fall season. Sizes range from small to XL. The majority of the clothing is in very good to excellent condition, and most items have been professionally laundered and are ready to wear right off the racks.

The clothing gemach of Young Israel of New Hyde Park is located at:
264-15 77th Avenue
New Hyde Park, NY 11040
near Union Tpke and accessible via the LIE)

Any donations to the gemach must be on hangers.

Hours are by appointment. Please contact Mark to schedule a visit: 917-703-4694.

amother

Mon, Apr 15 2013, 2:35 pm

I think I might be missing something-may be it's a different attitude or different use of gemach where you live. When I saw your title I thought you meant you had to borrow money from a gemach.
my husband has a decent job, we own a house etc... and yet we get many if not most of our stuff second hand either free or from e-bay. I have gotten clothing from my daughter, baby items, toys and a dresser for her room from local gemachs. This involved different gemachs and while I can't swear I asked all of the gemachs I know I at least asked 2, pretty sure all of them- if it was only for people who were in financial need or for anyone who could make use of the stuff. I was always told if I could use it I should take it regardless of my financial situation. The furniture gemach told me that they have specific people who in financial need who get first choice but whatever they don't want is fair game for everyone. When I went through the baby clothing and after I picked out what I liked I was trying to whittle it down so I wouldn't be such a glutton and take so much and the lady in charge told me not to worry just take them she has so much stuff. Many of my daughter's clothing that is not from a gemach is second hand- the person is thrilled to give it to me. May be I just have a different attitude- I grew up in a VERY wealthy neighborhood (I had piano lessons, went to sleep-away camp etc. etc. so while I definitely wasn't living as wealthy as many we definitely weren't "pinching pennies")and most of my clothing were hand me downs not due to poverty but due to my mother not being a shopper, she had her hands full and why not? recently someone commented how a relative is struggling and when this person told her mother she would be thrilled to give this person her hand me downs her mother said they wouldn't take it because it's considered an embarrassment to have hand me downs. I think it's a mentality.

StrongIma

Wed, Apr 17 2013, 4:15 pm

yes, it does have do to very much with mentality. I'd much rather get something 2nd hand for cheap than pay full price - I feel like it's a monopoly game for me, beating the stores at their game. But my neighbors would rather die than use something 2nd hand - unless it came from their neighbors' 2nd cousin twice removed (as if knowing where/who it came from makes a difference).

ElTam

Wed, Apr 17 2013, 4:29 pm

Look, it's tough financially to be frum, to have a family, and you are trying to do it in one of the most expensive places to live in the world, that at the same time has very high standards for how you should dress. Do not beat yourself up or feel ashamed.

I volunteer at a clothing gemach OOT. We are very picky about what donations we keep. A lot of things we get go straight in the garbage, others are donated to a second-hand store. We only keep the stuff that looks like new and is in the current styles. We work hard to keep everything sorted by size and folded or hung nicely just like in a store. Because lots and lots and lots of people use the gemach, and they all are hard-working people who are just doing the best they can and they deserve to come and have a nice experience and not feel bad.

Get what you need and realize that you are allowing people to avoid ba'al taschich by throwing out perfectly good things they no longer need.

(And for the record, we volunteers are allowed to take home items that would work for our families, and we do. It's a big help.)

L25

Thu, Apr 18 2013, 11:22 am

I would suggest you ask in your neighborhood to see if they have one- you might be surprised. There's also something called freecylce where people post that they want to get rid of xyz... you can also post that you are looking for xyz. Also I know that at least in passaic and in teaneck I'm guessing elsewhere as well people sometimes have stuff that they just want to get rid of- eg. a dining room set because they are getting a new one... that's how we got our buffet, china cabinet, a mattress etc... good luck