Anonymous chareidi men performing mitzvot

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m in Israel

Thu, Apr 25 2013, 6:20 am

Beautiful story! I read a very moving article in The Jewish Observer in 1995 and it was so beautifully written I copied it and still have it till today. It makes a similar point. I am trying to attach it here -- I hope it inspires others as well.

http://img443.imageshack.us/im.....p.jpg

http://img822.imageshack.us/im.....p.jpg

I've never attached an image before, so I don't know if this works. I hope it does.

PinkFridge

Thu, Apr 25 2013, 6:25 am

Arggh! Why couldn't this simply stay a positive lovefest?
SIer, I'm not surprised. I've known people over the years in SI from various circles, especially but not exclusively one of the yeshivos, which has a lovely name. Please, no hating ;-)

June

Thu, Apr 25 2013, 6:32 am

staten islander, I think what r_ch meant was that the men only helped you because you looked jewish.

thanks for sharing the story Smile

BlueRose52

Thu, Apr 25 2013, 7:47 am

It's a lovely story, and reflects the well known truth that in places with smaller frum communities (like SI), it's fairly typical to see such consideration being applied across different groups.

Smaller Jewish communities (such as those considered "out of town") usually have fairly good relations between the different communal sub-groups, and even between different denominations. When you're all quite small you need to band together, share your resources, and cooperate well with others in order to survive.

Although it's a sign of healthy growth when a community gets more established and becomes less dependent on its neighbors, it's often accompanied with some less positive developments: institutions are set up that exclude participation of other groups, rules established that reflect narrow, sectarian concerns, communities deliberately separate themselves from one another, etc. The result is usually less cooperation and more division between the different groups. This is unfortunately what has happened in most major frum cities. As each group (chassidish, yeshivish, modern, and every variation in between) has become stronger within their own group, the brotherhood between us all has deteriorated drastically.

And this is one of the major reasons why everyone who lives out of town can't stand NY. Smile

naturalmom5

Thu, Apr 25 2013, 8:03 am

In the interest of fairness , I think Torah is a major variable too.
Over the past 20 years I have seen drastic changes.
In Monsey, for example the bigger it gets the more vicious it becomes, particularly , down the hill.
Whereas , Lakewood still has a certain charm about it. I'm not going to lie, when it comes to getting a child into school or many businesses, it is kill or be killed.
But, stories like OP describes happen daily.

HindaRochel

Thu, Apr 25 2013, 8:05 am

What a beautiful story! This is how we should all be with one another.

June

Thu, Apr 25 2013, 8:09 am

I think, no matter how divisive a community may be, stories like op posted are still very common. I love being jewish!

BlueRose52

Thu, Apr 25 2013, 8:11 am

m in Israel wrote:

These are wonderful stories indeed, but it makes me really uncomfortable whenever I see stories that emphasize how special Jews are (compared to non-Jews) in the way they go out of their way to help one another, even when the other person is a total stranger. I used to think along those lines too, but I've discovered that it's simply not true. I mean, it's true that Jews often do act this way, but plenty of non-Jews do so just as much. I think it's a mistake to think we have some sort of superiority in this regard. Percentage-wise we probably have an advantage, but I don't see that as being very relevant when viewing another person's capacity for chessed.

As I've expanded my social circle to include non-Jewish friends, I've been the beneficiary of acts of kindness from non-Jews that parallel, and at times, exceeded what I would have expected from a fellow Jew. And of course, there are countless non-Jewish organizations that reflect tremendous generosity of spirit, even towards total strangers (check out couchsurfing.org, City Harvest, Kiva, and the Make-A-Wish foundation, for starters).

We Jews can justifiably be proud of the good we do, but I think it would be prudent to limit the sense of superiority we have about it.

Last edited by BlueRose52 on Thu, Apr 25 2013, 11:04 am; edited 1 time in total

r_ch

Thu, Apr 25 2013, 10:54 am

staten islander wrote:

Lesson 3. Look like a Jew so that your fellow Jews recognize you

R_ch- I take offense at that, I don't look any less a Jew then you do

Then I don't understand why you take offence. If you look like a Jew, then you do look it, where's the problem? Smile

r_ch

Thu, Apr 25 2013, 11:00 am

June wrote:

staten islander, I think what r_ch meant was that the men only helped you because you looked jewish.

Yes, her son did. He had a kipa on that's how the anonymous man noticed them, OP said.

Isramom8

Thu, Apr 25 2013, 11:18 am

I posted this story as my Facebook status. Thank you!

yo'ma

Thu, Apr 25 2013, 12:35 pm

MaBelleVie wrote:

I find it achingly sad that you found this story noteworthy.

I think this story is noteworthy not only because of all the bashing of different sects, but because they went above and beyond. I don't know what they could have done instead, but to me what they did was as far as they could go.

As far as the poster who said it's good to look like a jew. Would she even have gone with the boy if he didn't look jewish? I'm sure you all know the story whether it's true or not, I don't know, but the story of the man was stuck on the highway in the catskills and no one was stopping until he put a yarmulke on his head. He wasn't even jewish. Jews help other jews!! Should we help everyone? Maybe, but first the jew.

MaBelleVie

Thu, Apr 25 2013, 1:50 pm

Bluerose, op *does* live in NY. And WADR, I lived in Brooklyn for 20+ years and have experienced many examples of cooperation and brotherhood between groups, and never the opposite. There is a tremendous amount of chesed that place in NY, and in all my life I've only seen a generous attitude toward helping all Jews. I wonder if you've ever lived in NY to claim otherwise.

PinkFridge

Thu, Apr 25 2013, 1:56 pm

BlueRose52 wrote:

And this is one of the major reasons why everyone who lives out of town can't stand NY. Smile

Chas v'shalom! I'd never say I can't stand it. Just that I'd have a hard time living there.

BlueRose52

Thu, Apr 25 2013, 2:26 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

BlueRose52 wrote:

And this is one of the major reasons why everyone who lives out of town can't stand NY. Smile

Chas v'shalom! I'd never say I can't stand it. Just that I'd have a hard time living there.

It was a joke.

BlueRose52

Thu, Apr 25 2013, 2:55 pm

MaBelleVie wrote:

Bluerose, op *does* live in NY.

Yes, I know she does, but SI is a world apart from the other boroughs. (Haven't you heard the jokes about how for some people the world ends at the Verrazano Bridge?)

MaBelleVie wrote:

And WADR, I lived in Brooklyn for 20+ years and have experienced many examples of cooperation and brotherhood between groups, and never the opposite. There is a tremendous amount of chesed that place in NY, and in all my life I've only seen a generous attitude toward helping all Jews. I wonder if you've ever lived in NY to claim otherwise.

I didn't mean to imply that chesed isn't plentiful all over NY, of course it is, even between different groups, and that's wonderful. But if you don't think that there's less of a cooperative and respectful tone between the different Jewish groups in big Jewish centers like Brooklyn or Monsey than there is in smaller Jewish communities, I don't really know what to tell you. It's undeniable. Don't we all know chassidish people that won't even eat at the home of certain other chassidish people? Or parents who won't let their children play with kids from a family with a TV in their home? Or schools that don't want children that aren't EXACTLY the "right" type (like wearing the right kind of glasses)? Do I really need to elaborate further? (Just read the archives of Imamother if you're still not sure what I'm talking about.)

Such attitudes are extremely rare in smaller Jewish communities, which tend not to be as homogenous, even in places that are close to major Jewish centers, such as Staten Island.

MaBelleVie

Thu, Apr 25 2013, 3:13 pm

OK, whatever. I don't think we're going to agree on any of this, so I'll leave it at that.

chatouli

Thu, Apr 25 2013, 3:31 pm

I don't think what Blue Rose is saying is so out there.

But I love this story. I had a similar experience once and my DH was just mad that I got in a car with someone I didn't know! And I had been feeling so good about people until he said that Smile

Lady Bug

Thu, Apr 25 2013, 5:17 pm

BlueRose52 wrote:

I just wanted to point out that Monsey is NOT one of the five boroughs.

staten islander

Thu, Apr 25 2013, 6:03 pm

yes,SI is part of NY but it is the 'forgotten" borough. As far as lack of chesed in Brooklyn-I don't want to give out too many details and lose my anonymity,but here is the story in a nutshell. When I was younger, we were very poor and one of our closest relatives who lived with us fell ill and needed a visiting nurse. My family is not religious and the nurse was a yeshivish lady.She saw our situation and arranged for my brother and I to go to a Jewish camp free that summer. Prior to camp, she took us shopping for some decent clothing. The same family found a yeshiva for us to go to tuition free for 3 years(we were in public school before that), until my parents got back on their feet.Had she not done that , I would never be frum today. She is from Brooklyn and we are still close.

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