What do we give all shadchanim involved

cbg

Fri, May 03 2013, 11:36 am

This is the situation.
I saw the perfect girl for my DS, but I couldn't ask her directly.
I asked a mutual friend ( acquaintance) asked if she would be interested in going out with my son.
The girl said yes.
Then we contacted a Rav in her community to set up all the dates
and to communicate with her parents until things were moving in the right direction.

BH they got engaged
Technically I was the shadchan, but I want to give my friend and the Rav involved a gift.

What should I get my friend? Is a nice perfume set enough or should it be something more substantial? About how much should I spend?

What should we get the Rav? He did all the financial negotiating and set up all the actual dates, etc?
We were suggested to give a nice Monte Blanc pen, but DH noticed he had one, and since that is what most people give I'm sure he has more of them. We wanted to give him something more meaningful.

All suggestions welcomed. Please state how much we should spend on each gift.
We do understand the importance of giving all parties involved a gift.

oliveoil

Fri, May 03 2013, 3:48 pm

The rabbi should get the financial gift a shadchan would get (usually $1000 from each side). That's what they're getting paid for - all the phone calls and go-between and negotiating. The friend should get a small monetary gift or a very, very nice present.