Will a school accept you if you admit on the application

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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amother

Tue, May 07 2013, 2:21 pm

that you have a TV, or let your kids watch age-appropriate dvds?

I'm asking about right-wing schools in Brooklyn.

Or is it an automatic no if you admit to letting your kids watch dvds or that you yourself watch TV?

amother

Tue, May 07 2013, 3:10 pm

DVD's and internet-depends on the school.
Admitting you own a TV will most likely get you an automatic no.

amother

Tue, May 07 2013, 3:13 pm

What are you other options?

Get rid of the tv, you can watch everything on-line. I do.
my sister, in brooklyn, was told that her ds cant even watch uncle moishe. I dont live in brooklyn and my kids can watch anything jewish.

second option, lie ?!?!? I dont respect people who register their children in schools and have no plans to follow the basic rules. There are people that will send their kids to schools that insist on tight year round, but for the summer the mom will buy socks. (in one school they tell the kids its "non jewish clothing". Now how can you confuse your child like that?) It is fun to watch them panick when someone from their school come onto the block.

If you have problems with the schools basic rules and cant follow them, then the school is not for you.

MimiMommy

Tue, May 07 2013, 3:22 pm

Many people lie about it. Not that you should. Just saying there are plenty of people with kids in right wing school who own a TV. Money talks.

justforfun87

Tue, May 07 2013, 3:24 pm

I know you didnt ask for our opinion but it is Imamother, so I am going to give it anyways. I agree with the above posters, why even bother sending your kid to a school when you are not on the path they expect of their students. In the end who are you fooling by lying on the application. Your children will benefit more at a school where they can feel as though they are on the same page as the other children hashkafically, not holding some deep secret like the television. Otherwise if you would like to build up to the level of observance (which they determine to be TV) that these schools expect, then get rid of the TV. Gluck!

amother

Tue, May 07 2013, 3:47 pm

Op. Because in all other ways the school(s) fit us hashkafically. I'm figuring many parents lie about this. I think it's shortsighted to get hung up on this.

RachelB

Tue, May 07 2013, 4:01 pm

OK, this is not a joke (even though it sounds like one)
I was told by the parents in a certain Yeshiva to put your TV outside of the house (porch or storage shed) and this way you are not actually lying when you say you don't have TV IN the house.
Don't bash, I am not joking and I was told by few sets of parents.
Needless to say I got rid of the TV (we never had cable anyway) before we went for the interview, but after a week in 1st grade my son new who Spiderman was.

ewa-jo

Tue, May 07 2013, 4:06 pm

Maybe this is just an obvious question, but won't the school find out eventually anyways?

I mean, how reliable are kids to keep such a secret? I would think that they would slip up one day and mention some tv program.... also, I guess you would have to tell them specifically not to mention tv when they are at school.

That sounds even worse to me... to make your kids hide things.

usernamemom

Tue, May 07 2013, 4:12 pm

I'm all for honesty. btw, my daughters' school has the knee sox rule too, but we're not makpid with them at home. I'm not at all embarrassed to see ppl from school, as I know this is minhag hamakom, and so do my girls. They don't wear their plaid uniforms outside school either. I would say tell them you have a TV and they watch age appropriate videos, but that the chinuch of the school appeals to you; would they agree to take your child? If not, it's probably the wrong place for you, unless you're happy to scrap the TV. Good luck, and congrats on your integrity.

ElTam

Tue, May 07 2013, 5:27 pm

Another vote for not lying. It's not fair to your kids to put them in that position. And then what happens when you get caught. Then you aren't just the family with the TV, you're the family whose kids got thrown out of their last school for lying on your application.

MaBelleVie

Tue, May 07 2013, 5:36 pm

Unless you're talking about a chassidish or ultra yeshivish school (which I can't comment on, as I have no experience in those circles), no one gets kicked out if it later comes to light that a family does in fact have a television. It's just some stupid lying game people play for the admissions process. It's not a huge secret that kids are burdened with either. If your kids are so immersed in television that it becomes something so difficult to cover up, you have other problems Smile

Kids casually mentioning things here and there don't get in trouble.

amother

Tue, May 07 2013, 7:35 pm

MaBelleVie wrote:

Kids casually mentioning things here and there don't get in trouble.

Op here. Thank you, I find this reassuring.

amother

Tue, May 07 2013, 9:59 pm

MaBelleVie wrote:

Kids casually mentioning things here and there don't get in trouble.

I agree with this. I'm not saying that it's good to lie, and I dont' know what I would do in your case. But if it's a standard middle of the road school there will be other parents who have tvs and said on the application that they don't.

People are making it sound like the kids will be wieghed down by this heavy burden of having a tv in their house. That is not the case from my experience and from people I spoke to. They really don't think too much about it.

Also, I dont' agree with people saying if you don't follow the hashkafos of the school you shouldn't send there. Having a tv in the house is one small piece of someone's outlook on life. Pretty much most of the right wing schools have this rule. Just because parents decided that they feel having a tv will be ok in their household doesn't mean they should send their child to a left wing school. They'll completely not fit in there.

chocolate chips

Tue, May 07 2013, 11:03 pm

Don't lie.

My landlord (who is chasidish) had to fill out an application for her sons.
They asked if she has a radio in her house and she wrote no. (She has a cd player but that is it).
They called her up and said why would you lie? we don't want you to lie we want to know the truth. It took her 3 friends and 3 days to convince them she actually told the truth!
They just expect people to lie! It is crazy.

Don't lie.
And just btw, now-a-days if you have internet you basically have TV, tv is probably safer than internet imho.

Oh and yeh, money talks.

tzfatisha

Wed, May 08 2013, 10:27 am

when my sister's kids were young they didn't have a tv because she didn't want one herself and thought it was bad for the kids.. (she was 'culturally jewish' rather than observant).
the kids went to a regular english state school.. the teacher said she could tell they didn't have tv because they were so different from all the other kids in the class.. just had more imagination, more ability to play, more like kids of 20 years before
so I'm just saying that if you have tv and your kids watch it.. and the other kids really don't have tv the teachers may be able to tell...whatever u say on the form..

I'm not saying whether you should get rid of your tv or not...I'm just saying that whether we like to admit it or not tv does influence us and our kids too....

amother

Wed, May 08 2013, 10:36 am

No, a child will probably not get thrown out by the school after it is discovered that there is a TV in the house, but good luck getting the next sibling accepted to that school!

yo'ma

Wed, May 08 2013, 11:18 am

chocolate chips wrote:

tv is probably safer than internet imho.

I've heard it the other way. It's better to watch online than on tv because of all the commercials. (I know that you're saying the internet at a whole) Personally, I watch tv with no commercials because I record and watch at my leisure. Wink

notshanarishona

Wed, May 08 2013, 11:29 am

Most right wing schools I know of would definitely not accept a child if you have TV in the house. I would be very surprised if many parent's would be lying about this . Internet, radio , maybe but in most places tv is a big no no.
Unless you have some heter or specific reasoning to use it occasionally I.e. it in the car and you only show your kids Uncle Moishy or age appropriate dvd's when traveling.

saw50st8

Wed, May 08 2013, 11:33 am

I can't believe so many people are okay with lying!

greenfire

Wed, May 08 2013, 11:39 am

there's two ways to look at it

tell them the truth you probably won't get in and your kid will be better off for it

lie and say you watch things on the microwave - if at all - and be just like them

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