Plain Frum or In Between

shanie5

Sun, Feb 25 2007, 5:38 pm

if today I could have done better, and tomorrow I could have done better, and yesterday and the next etc. I would just give up. as long as I do the best I can each day-that is where I am up to. and where I should be.

Quote:

Yes, but that would mean recognizing that the day before was not optimal, and there is room for improvement. Otherwise, why expend emotional energy unnecessarily, when you might need it for other things?

no, that is recognizing that yesterday I was on one level, and today I can be on a different level. the level I was on yesterday was the best I could do then, and therefore was where I should be. the level I am on today works for today-not yesterday and not tomorrow.

shalhevet

Mon, Feb 26 2007, 3:59 am

shanie5 wrote:

Quote:

If we say the way we are today is the best we can do THEN we are giving up. It says a person should always ask themselves when their deeds will reach the level of those of Avraham Avinu.
A person ( someone who is moreless emotionally healthy) should be saying how can I be better tomorrow?
We have plenty of things we can encourage ourselves with - that we have moved forward and that we are trying. But if someone is complacent and says today's level was the best I could do (regardless of what he did or didn't do) - what incentive has he to improve?

BeershevaBubby

Mon, Feb 26 2007, 5:33 am

Thank you ladies for 'getting it'.

Look, when my husband was becoming Chozer l'Teshuvah, if the Rav had told him "Today you've decided to become more frum. So stop eating non-kosher, kasher your kitchen, start observing Shabbat and all the Chaggim RIGHT THIS SECOND", it would have overwhelmed him and he probably would have failed in his journey to Torah, Mitzvot and eventually Eretz Yisrael.

The same is true for EVERYONE, even those of us who are 'FFB'. We all have things we need to work on ourselves. But if we try to do everything at once, we'll fail and stagnate. Or worse, fail and go off the Derech.

I'm not going to go into further personal stories, because frankly, it's no one's business, but I feel at this point in my life, today, I'm where I need to be to be close to Hashem. Tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, I'll probably be on a different level and ready for other things and it's between me and Hashem as to whether that level will be higher than right now or perhaps lower. Because yes, sometimes you DO need to take a step back to take two forward.

JRKmommy

Mon, Feb 26 2007, 7:06 am

Right on, Kmelion.

I found that growing in observance is similar to a child growing and developing physically.

When a baby first learns how to roll over, we applaud that. We don't say, "Very nice, but don't forget you still need to learn to sit up, crawl, walk and jump!"

shalhevet

Mon, Feb 26 2007, 8:00 am

JRKmommy wrote:

And Hashem planted an instinct in the baby himself once he has mastered rolling over, to quickly be disatisfied with himself and want to learn to sit up and crawl. That is how a child grows.

Oy vavoy to a baby who doesn't try and master the next skill as soon as he has accomplished the current one.
And oy vavoy to us if we don't try and constantly grow, and say 'my level of Yiddishkeit is just fine.'

JRKmommy

Mon, Feb 26 2007, 8:22 am

Shalhavet - I believe that a Jewish neshama has that same instinct to grow, with one step leading to another.

Just as a child who is praised for small accomplishments will naturally move on to try bigger things, so too will small steps in Yiddishkeit lead to bigger ones.

Unfortunately, the converse can also be true. Just as a child who is pushed too hard and criticized may rebel, withdraw, or simply give up, so too may these things cause a Jew on the path of teshuva to stumble.

shalhevet

Mon, Feb 26 2007, 9:34 am

JRKmommy wrote:

100% agree, JRK!
I was talking about drive from a person within themself, and not pressure from other people.

shanie5

Mon, Feb 26 2007, 9:54 am

but if the drive is pushing too hard, the person will rebel or move too far too fast. of course we always strive to be better, but if we cannot be content with where we are for today, then we can never be happy w/ ourselves.

no one is saying that we dont want to improve, but if I did as well as I could today, then that is where I should be and I am happy w/ that.

when tomorrow starts I will do my best for that day too. and be happy w/ where I am at the moment.

TzenaRena

Mon, Feb 26 2007, 10:13 am

Every moment we are being re-created anew . So that the reason we say Modeh Ani at the beginning of the day thanking Hashem for restoring our Neshama, is also replicated throughout the day, there is a potential at every moment for renewal and growth. * We don't have to wait till the next day literally to change, or grow. It can happen from one moment to the next.

*see pg 53 of "On the Essence of Chassidus"- text and footnotes.

Mrs. XYZ

Mon, Feb 26 2007, 11:13 am

Quote:

No one is saying that the drive has to be too hard. We can take tiny, tiny baby steps as long as we're going forward. We CAN be happy where we are today, meaning we're happy we're a drop more than yesterday, and yet still strive to be a drop better tomorrow.

Motek

Thu, Mar 01 2007, 11:46 am

I think this is true:

shalhevet wrote:

But if someone is complacent and says today's level was the best I could do (regardless of what he did or didn't do) - what incentive has he to improve?

and this is true:

shanie5 wrote:

if we cannot be content with where we are for today, then we can never be happy w/ ourselves.

(though I would change it slightly to "we can never be happy" - how can we be b'simcha if we are constantly dissatisfied?)

How to reconcile the two? What

gryp

Thu, Mar 01 2007, 1:07 pm

I don't think they have to be reconciled. It's possible to serve Hashem with Simcha and at the same time be dissatisfied with the level of our Avodah.

Last week's Tanya talked about being in a state of Atzvus- Depression about our level of Avodas Hashem. Through Atzvus we can break through the Timtum Halev (I forget the proper term for that in English Confused

) and acheive new levels in serving Hashem.

shalhevet

Thu, Mar 01 2007, 1:20 pm

Motek wrote:

I think this is true:

shalhevet wrote:

But if someone is complacent and says today's level was the best I could do (regardless of what he did or didn't do) - what incentive has he to improve?

and this is true:

shanie5 wrote:

if we cannot be content with where we are for today, then we can never be happy w/ ourselves.

(though I would change it slightly to "we can never be happy" - how can we be b'simcha if we are constantly dissatisfied?)

How to reconcile the two? What

Maybe we can be b'simcha that we, as opposed to 99% of the world population, are frum Jews who are privileged to be working on ourselves and having the opportunity to get closer and closer to Hashem. Rather than running after the empty pleasures the non jewish world has to 'offer' us. The very fact that we are not complacent is a cause for simcha. Very Happy