Would you tell | Imamother

amother

Wed, May 22 2013, 12:09 pm

So I noticed a girl's haircut was crooked. There's a woman in the neighborhood that cuts hair at home for a business. Would you let her know she made a mistake? But when I told her she seemed insulted. If it were me I would want to know.

mommyla

Wed, May 22 2013, 12:14 pm

Are you the girl's mother? If not, there's no reason at all that you should've said anything. Of course she got insulted. If you did a bad job on something, would you like some random person telling you about it?

mommyla

Wed, May 22 2013, 1:08 pm

It's not your business to tell people to correct their mistakes. Again, unless you personally were affected by it, it is not your place to say anything. And when you take your daughter there don't say "Make sure it's not crooked like Sara's daughter's haircut."

usernamemom

Wed, May 22 2013, 1:15 pm

It's interesting how those who were pro thought is was obvious- of course she'd want to know; and those who were against thought it was obvious- of course she'll be insulted. IMHO, I think the halacha of tochacha is a good model for these sort of social situations too. Just as it's only a mitzvah to rebuke someone who, based on their personality and your relationship with them, would take it well, and use it productively, it's likewise a mitzvah to NOT say something when the recipient won't take it well. If you're close with her, and know she'd appreciate constructive feedback (sandwiched between two positive statements:) then go for it. But if not- it could be hurtful. And of course, so much in in the "how" you say it. But when it doubt, I'd leave it out. Another good way to consider: think how'd you'd receive the input if the situation were reversed. All the best:)

AlwaysThinking

Wed, May 22 2013, 1:18 pm

Like everyone's saying, it isn't your business to tell. It's not something permanently damaging that you have to warn anyone else of either. If the girl or her mother noticed, they can easily ask for the mistake to be fixed, even if it means the hair is a little shorter.

If it wasn't the same day she cut the hair, it's possible the girl parted her hair wrong so it looked crooked.

amother

Wed, May 22 2013, 8:09 pm

Well because I was asked to fix the haircut. I thought I would notify the other person in case it affected her future parnassah. Then she would know to be more careful.

forever21

Wed, May 22 2013, 8:14 pm

Oh ok. I still dont see how it would change things if you tell her though. She probably thought she did a good job in the first place so she wouldnt know how to be more careful.

marshmellow

Wed, May 22 2013, 9:09 pm

how do you know that this woman was the person who cut the girl's hair?

and no I wouldn't tell the woman anything, it's not my position, and it would be really hurtful since that's her job and part of how she defines herself as a hairdresser so she'd feel like a failure.
If I was close to the girl though, I would tell her that her hair cut is a bit crooked. It would be fine to do that, if you are friend (and yes I would want someone to tell me), friends can talk honestly to one another, but you can't criticise someone especially not someone you don't know or as distant as a neighbour. It would be different if you told the girl about her haircut, because you would just be being honest and she'd know not to go back there.