How am I supposed to afford going to a family simcha?

chica

Wed, May 29 2013, 7:45 am

My SIL just got engaged, the wedding is to be in Israel. We're pretty close and I'm absolutely thrilled! DH's family is very close, and it is not an option not to go.

However, we're starting to look at prices, and just the flight alone (from Toronto) is looking to cost us at least $6500 for 4 seats plus an infant. Plus we'll have to stay somewhere, food, travel expenses etc. For the amount of time we'll be staying DH seems to think we'll be spending around 10K on the trip. (Family is not helping us with the cost but we are expected to go.)

While I'm thrilled for my SIL and at the chance to take the kids to EY, how am I supposed to afford this? We're barely making our bills right now, and we have more expenses next year (tuition). We have savings, which is where the money is "coming from", but I'm not stupid to think it's "Free money". I'm very uncomfortable spending this type of money, especially when money is tight.

My MIL seems to believe that she has a connection that will get us a cheaper flight, but she's pretty naive when it comes to these things and doesn't know a thing about money. I'm certainly not counting on a miracle.

Everyone else who is coming over is either single or can most certainly afford it. We keep our finances to ourselves and my MIL (who again, wouldn't know about things in the first place) has no clue how much of a financial strain this will be on us.

Leaving my kids at home is not an option. Going for a shorter time will cut costs by a fraction of the amount, the flight is fixed no matter the amount of time we spend.

How do people do this?

sarahd

Wed, May 29 2013, 7:51 am

They probably don't. I don't know of many people who bring their whole family from America to Israel for a wedding unless they're very wealthy or have someone paying for them.

imaima

Wed, May 29 2013, 7:57 am

I guess, your dh should go alone and only for a short time. That's it. It will reduce the price tremendously.

shalhevet

Wed, May 29 2013, 8:00 am

If you can't afford it, don't go. You will just have to explain that you are very sorry, but you can't do this.

chica

Wed, May 29 2013, 8:02 am

I would, but I don't have anyone who can watch my kids.
It's either all of us go or none, which doesn't seem to be an option.

Liba

Wed, May 29 2013, 8:03 am

When we have family simchos here (in E"Y), the whole family doesn't come from the states. At most one parent (the blood relative usually) comes and the other one stays home with the children. Often neither is able to make it.

It is expensive.

The same happens when there is B"H a simcha in the states. At most one family member is able to go.

tiger88

Wed, May 29 2013, 8:22 am

I am in the same situation as you , only my hubby is going I would love to be there but its not worth my kids being jet lagged for 2 weeks and the money.

cs1

Wed, May 29 2013, 8:47 am

My sil also got married in israel (both sides livein the states) so u can imagine how everyone felt..just cuz the honneymooning couple wants a specific type of wedding, doesn't mean that both sides have to sepnd thousands and waste their money. in any case, the timing was really bad for me so It was impossible to go and I didn't but dh did go for one day. (He was on the plane more than in israel)
My bil had gotten married in israel a half yr before sil and both dh and I went as it worked out for our work, so to go a half yr later...was a big strain on our pockets.
Just send your dh and you and the kids should stay home.