Slapping in the face

Motek

Sun, Feb 25 2007, 10:37 am

I was twice witness to mothers slapping their children (boys) in the face. It is horrifying Shaking

These are not generally abusive mothers, just ordinary mommies - I know them.

What do you think of slapping in the face? Have you done it? Would you ever do it?

A "potch in panim" ... on the tzelem Elokim? Sad

amother

Sun, Feb 25 2007, 10:43 am

Once my daughter was out of control, and I tried everything..

She slapped me so I slapped her back.. ONE TIME, that's all it took for me to feel horrible! Honestly, could never do it again! Now we talk things out, but I always feel tremendous guilt.

I have now learned to distance myself when I feel frustrated.

LubavitchLeah

Sun, Feb 25 2007, 10:47 am

I think it is a horrifying way of parenting as a rule. Although I do appreciate that under stress, duress when ones resources are low even the best of us can lose control. Isolated incidences are one thing (one can hopefuly learn from them) but if this is commonplace in ones home, I think it is very destructive and role models terrible parenting.

Tefila

Sun, Feb 25 2007, 11:17 am

Quote:

I was twice witness to mothers slapping their children (boys) in the face. It is horrifying

Though on occassion I too have resorted to hitting not though only the boys , a) Never the face (can damage blood capillaries plus mark the child big time) ! b) Never publicly (how humiliating for the child and loss of control for the parent) it is usually the lower back side and once done hard hurts my hand too. Exclamation

Imaonwheels

Sun, Feb 25 2007, 11:59 am

I was told specifically by a rav who specializes in chinuch that it is assur. I have lost it maybe twice on super chutpah, but I know its wrong.

mannyzmom

Sun, Feb 25 2007, 1:11 pm

our policy is no hittling whatsoever. I hope I can keep to this rule. my ds is still little - almost two.

my mom slapped me once or maybe twice on the face but never in public. and im sure I deserved it. dont remember if it worked but it showed me that hitting is ok when my parents would hit and possibly thats what gave me the impulse to want to hit when I get really mad? but I dont know. I have to really stop and controle myself from hitting my dh sometimes!!

TzenaRena

Sun, Feb 25 2007, 3:11 pm

Quote:

I have to really stop and controle myself from hitting my dh sometimes!!

queen I'm sure that's a typo. you mean ds, right?

Mrs. XYZ

Sun, Feb 25 2007, 3:23 pm

amother wrote:

"chosech shifto sonay bino"

I think this thread was specifically about slapping ON THE FACE- not slapping in general.

amother

Sun, Feb 25 2007, 6:54 pm

Well, thanks for the guilt trip. I just patched my 3 year old and the cheek and logged onto Imamother and find this lovely thread. I think sometimes kids need the physical wake up call that they are misbehaving.

amother

Sun, Feb 25 2007, 6:58 pm

amother wrote:

How bout the next time you do something wrong, your husband slaps you in the face? Sometimes we just need that physical wake-up call ya know ...

anon

Sun, Feb 25 2007, 10:39 pm

amother wrote:

How bout the next time you do something wrong, your husband slaps you in the face? Sometimes we just need that physical wake-up call ya know ...

Excuse me, but there is a huge difference between hitting children and hitting a husband. Don't compare.

While I am not against hitting children in certain cases, I believe that it isn't always appropriate. The question is where? when? how often?

As far as the "where"....I would say, never the face. It should be done as an act of chinuch, not an act of violence.

Motek

Sun, Feb 25 2007, 10:50 pm

anon wrote:

I would say, never the face. It should be done as an act of chinuch, not an act of violence.

She was talking about a slap in the face and said sometimes kids need it. Guess you disagree ...

anon

Sun, Feb 25 2007, 11:03 pm

I definitely disagreed with the amother who said that her child deserved a slap in the face.

However, I also found the subsequent amother's comparison to be very annoying.

amother

Mon, Feb 26 2007, 1:38 am

I got slaped in the face till the day before I got married ( and I was a good kid) just my mother has some major anger issues and I will never be moichel her for what she did to me EVER ever ever
I have keh a bunch of kids and as far back as I can remember I dont think I have ever hit any of my children and for sure not a slap on the face
and for sure not once they get over 6 or 7 years old
toddlers to slap on the behind or on the hand when they are really acting out I think makes sense to me when done without ANGER and not too hard

MommyLuv

Mon, Feb 26 2007, 8:34 am

In this day and age, I think all hitting is inappropriate, but especially on the face. It is the most humiliating act you can do to a child. shock

...

What worked back then is not necessarily the right thing today. It's a different world, and parents need different methods than our own parents and grandparents...

greenfire

Mon, Feb 26 2007, 9:18 am

[quote="anon"]
Excuse me, but there is a huge difference between hitting children and hitting a husband. Don't compare.
quote]

Yes there sure is a child cannot defend themselves!!!