How should I handle this?

amother

Wed, Jun 26 2013, 1:00 pm

We have a very busy fax gmach in our home. People come all the time to send and receive faxes and make copies. We don't charge anything for sending faxes since the cost of the call is minimal and it doesn't involve any ink or paper on our end. We send faxes within EY and to the US on a regular basis.

A few weeks ago, when I wasn't home, a neighbor came with 30 pages to fax to England. We had never faxed to England before, so DH told her he wasn't sure how to do it. She gave him a paper with the fax number on it including the necessary country code etc. and he gave it a try. It took a long time and disconnected a few times in the middle, but eventually it did go through.

A few days later, the same neighbor brought me another 30 pages to fax to England. Unaware of what had happened when I wasn't home a few days earlier, I told her that I didn't think we could fax to England because we didn't subscribe to any such service, and that even if we could, it would cost us a pretty penny. She told me that DH had successfully done it a few days earlier so I should please try and she would reimburse us. I tried to send it but for whatever reason, it did not go through that time. I tried several times over the next few hours without results, so I sent her back the fax and told her it didn't work.

We recently got a phone bill from a long-distance carrier we don't generally use, and the only number on it is the one in England that her original fax had been sent to. It took 23 minutes and cost 14 nis. Not a huge amount of money but more than we usually spend on one fax. I decided not to demand the money since when the fax was sent, she hadn't committed to reimbursing us, but I sent the bill over with one of her kids with the message that it was from their fax to England, and that was that. I've seen that neighbor several times since then, and she never mentioned it. Today one of their kids was here, and I asked her to ask her mother to send me back the bill so I could pay it. She sent it back without the money.

I'm thinking of just paying it and forgetting about the 14 nis since I had no commitment from them to pay for this fax and don't want to make a big deal of a few shekels. Still, I do feel like the right thing on their part would be for them to pay us. We are super tight on money right now so even 14 nis makes a difference. What do you think I should do? I don't want to demand it, but I also don't want to resent the fact that they didn't pay.

yo'ma

Wed, Jun 26 2013, 1:28 pm

amother wrote:

I decided not to demand the money since when the fax was sent, she hadn't committed to reimbursing us, but I sent the bill over with one of her kids with the message that it was from their fax.

Why did you send the bill if you decided you weren't going to ask for the money? If you wanted the money, you should have gone over in person and not sent the bill with her child. If you want the money, ask for it. If you don't, don't send the bill. Either way, sending the bill was tactless IMO and maybe she got offended by it.

amother

Wed, Jun 26 2013, 1:40 pm

Quote:

Thanks for your input. I wasn't going to DEMAND the money, but since the second time she came to send, she did say she would pay for it, I wanted to give her the option of paying for the one that did go through even she hadn't said anything at the time that one was sent by DH. I davka didn't ask her directly so that she shouldn't feel obligated to pay. When her daughter came here to send another (local) fax (they come almost daily to fax), I took the opportunity and sent it up. I don't think she was offended since we've seen each other umpteen times since then and she was as friendly as always.

amother

Wed, Jun 26 2013, 1:48 pm

Quote:

I think you need to make clearer rules about the gemach for next time and for now just leave it.
I.e. if anything that costs you more than 1/2 a nis is too much than you can make a limit of 5 pages and only to Israel and US, etc..

Thanks. We do have very clear rules that are posted on the door and in the local shuls and fliers. We charge for receiving and copying above a certain amount, but we never charge for sending. This was the only time we've sent anywhere other than the US or EY though. If I would have been home, I would definitely have told them before sending it that they would have to cover the cost if it was anything significant, but DH was home then and he did not think of it.

amother

Wed, Jun 26 2013, 1:58 pm

nyer1 wrote:

ask a rav. maybe it can count toward maeser?

Per our rav, we're patur from giving maaser due to our financial situation.

Quote:

if u cant afford it then ask for the money and say you cant afford to pay it cuz ur very tight with money and she did say she would pay.

I'd prefer to keep the peace between us and be mevater on the 14 nis. Also, she didn't say she would pay before sending that particular fax. She only said it when she came the second time to send and I commented that it would probably be expensive for us, and that fax never ended up going through.