Please help me help my daughter

hesha

Fri, Jul 19 2013, 11:42 am

My eight year old daughter has some emotional issues but I need help dealing with it , and possibly figuring out which type of professional to take her. Let me describe her a bit: she's very bright, loves to help out. She always feels like she is being jipped out in life. 100 times a day she says "it's not fair" . Her mood swings from very happy to very upset easily. She can't Take when I compliment any of her siblings. She dawdles time like crazy, is never on time for anything. She can't see another child's point of view or how they may be right. Having a conversation with her can be annoying because she asks a million questions on every sentence you say, like if u try telling her a story , it's like "but why did the boy say that, but why was he wearing a red shirt, " and on and on. She is also my middle child. ANY Insight would be greatly appreciated!! She saps my strength and I don't know how to deal with her properly. Should I have her evaluated? By whom? T I A!

mummiedearest

Fri, Jul 19 2013, 12:30 pm

she sounds like my five-year-old. I don't know that you need to have her evaluated, honestly. if she asks questions, try to answer them. if there are too many questions to answer, tell her "this is the last question, and after we finish reading the story we can discuss any questions you have left. if you listen to the rest of the story, the story might answer your question."

I think she's just a kid who likes attention. maybe if you adjust your form of attention she'll ease up a bit. as for being on time, that's a personality thing. I have to be on top of my kids if we want to get anywhere on time. make sure to give her enough time to get ready, and give her frequent reminders. "10 minutes till we have to go... 5 minutes...4 minutes..." count down. kids that age don't necessarily have a sense of time. an egg timer might be helpful in teaching her. if you want to make it more fun, play some music that she likes and tell her she has to be ready by the end of the song. if she is finished before the song ends, she gets a sticker or a treat. pick something compatible with her interests. if a kid doesn't have the punctuality gene, he or she needs a lot of training to be on time.

as for "it's not fair," I tell my kids that papa and I are allergic to those words. I also tell them that everyone gets different things and we don't measure who gets what. as for compliments, I tell my dd that if I compliment her brother, it's because he earned it. I remind her that when she earns it, she gets complimented too, and that my complimenting someone else does not mean that I think any less of her. I still love her no matter what. yes, I have to repeat this speech a lot. but I also try to compliment my kids fairly often so they feel appreciated.

real

Sun, Jul 21 2013, 9:45 pm

Hi,

my daughter sounded very similar to yours. She is 7 and a half and all of those things you discussed, she had except she became very extreme with them. I got scared and took her to her pediatrician. I told him she was either abused by someone or their is something wrong with her.(I sent her out of the room when I spoke to the doc) anyway he ran some blood tests and it came out she had very high levels of strep antibodies in her blood. normal would be anywhere from 0 until 180-hers was 1040! he explained to me that it is possible she has a disorder called pandas.
after running to a few doctors that specialize in this, I went to an immunologist(as pandas is an auto immune disease)and he explained that there is a strep infection in my daughter-just not in her throat, and her antibodies are crossing the blood brain barrier in her body and effecting her emotions.

to make a long story short, get your daughter a blood test that tests for dnase b strep antibodies- if she has pandas, it might get worse before it gets better- but there is hope!

FranticFrummie

Sun, Jul 21 2013, 10:09 pm

There's lots of possibilities here.

It could be PANDAS, it could be anxiety (needing constant reassurance), it could just be that she's just developmentally young for her age. In DD's case, she was diagnosed with Fragile X Syndrome.

Please don't jump to thinking things are doom and gloom until you've explored lots of different tests.

Make a list of behaviors that you think are "out of normal range", and bring them to your doctor. Ask where to start testing, and go from there.

G-d willing, she's just being a pain, and will grow out of it quickly!