9 year old still wetting bed at night

amother

Sun, Aug 04 2013, 12:17 am

I had an alarm when I was a kid, and it didn't work for me. I'm sure things have changed in the last 30 years, but one of my problems was that I was a deep sleeper. I would sleep right through the alarm going off, and wake up when my mom (who's room was on the other side of the house) would come into my room.

My dd also wet the bed for many years. I don't remember when it mostly stopped, but she still has an occasional accident at 11. I think she was around 9 or 10. It actually turned out that dairy was the culprit. She suffers from chronic stomachaches, and we decided to take her off of dairy to see if that would help her stomach. It didn't help with that, but we noticed that she stopped wetting the bed. When she tried eating dairy on a regular basis again, the accidents started happening again. She does have dairy now occasionally, but we try to limit it.

Interestingly, two of my younger children had been off of dairy (once since he started on solids), as well as a few other foods, for various reasons. We've been trying recently to see which foods we can add back in to their diets. When they both had dairy and there didn't appear to be any problems, I was pretty excited. Until later in the week I realized that even though they were both potty trained for a while, day and night, they both started having accidents during the day and wetting the bed at night. We experimented a bit and for both of them it's eat dairy - have accidents, don't eat dairy - rarely have an accident.

Well, to make a long story short (sorry about that), you might want to try removing the dairy from your dd's diet before putting her on medicine (which also didn't work for my dd) or investing in an alarm.

amother

Sun, Aug 04 2013, 12:21 am

m in Israel

Sun, Aug 04 2013, 3:30 am

We used an alarm for my son when he was about 7 1/2, and had tremendous success. He was a deep sleeper, so even thought he buzzer part was right near his ear (it clipped onto the shoulder of his pajamas), for the first few days I had to listen out for it, jump up as soon as I heard it and run to wake him up and take him to the bathroom. However, after a few days of me doing it, he started waking up from it on his own, and after about 2 weeks he was getting up on his own for the bathroom before the alarm, and staying dry. We kept the alarm on for about another week and then stopped it, so altogether he used it for a bit less then a month, and we basically had no problems since (for the first few months he had one or two accidents, and that was it). This was all 4 years ago.

The instructions that came with it actually said that since many bed wetters are very deep sleepers, initially a parent may need to be the one to respond to the alarm -- but it is the same thing -- the point is to catch the kid as soon as he starts going and rush him to the bathroom, so his body gets conditioned to wake up when it needs to go. It doesn't really matter if it is the alarm waking him up or the parent, as long as you get it right away (the alarm is obviously what tells you when to wake him up -- randomly taking him to the bathroom in the middle of the night is not the same thing and doesn't help). We moved him into a bedroom right near us when we started with the alarm so we could make sure to hear it right away.

One thing we did that was against their recommendation was that in the beginning I put his pull-ups on over his underwear, so that although he still had the underwear close to his body to feel the wetness and trigger the alarm, I didn't have to worry about changing linen. I only did that for the first few nights.

The alarm we used was called a SleepDry Alarm, sold by "Starchild Labs" based in Santa Barbara, CA. I ordered it by phone (I got the number from my pediatrician), but I don't have it anymore, though I'm sure you can Google it. This was a bit over 4 year ago, so there may be better things out now, I don't know.

Hatzlacha!!

maliza

Sun, Aug 04 2013, 8:02 pm

To begin with, bed-wetting in school-age children is very common. Then, you always want to rule out any physiological problems, for instance -- did your doctor rule-out a urinary tract or bladder infection?

As a previous reader mentioned, is the bed-wetting food related, or due to emotional stress? keep a journal for 1-2 weeks and see if there is a recurring factor.

Are you comfortable with this doctor? would you consider seeing a pediatric urologist (specialist) for a second opinion?

ddavp might or might not help - you could try it with your doctor's guidance, but its not a cure for bed-wetting.

From my own experience, I think it was a combination of things that helped my son to overcome this problem. we used the Star alarm; we avoided liquids about 3 hours before bedtime; we respected his privacy and confidentiality; and I made sure to wake him in the morning with time to shower before going to school if he had an accident (the smell of urine makes it clear to all his classmates that he is a bed-wetter.) we gave him some extra attention so he wouldn't feel distraught over a difficult time in his life. AND: I set my alarm several times in the night in order to wake up my son and take him to the bathroom. It wasn't easy for me, but it was a simple thing I could do to help him stay dry through the night. My son knew we would solve this challenge together, and getting up several times a night for a few weeks helped him adjust to getting up to go to the bathroom. when I felt he was ready, I gave him an alarm clock and he got up himself in the night to use the bathroom. he could choose to sleep through (and he was a heavy sleeper), but then he might be wet in the morning. so he gained a sense of control. the bed-wetting lasted a few years, but he eventually outgrew it.

he needs hugs and encouragement, never anger or punishment. he can't help the bed-wetting, and its such a nisayon for a child.

hope this helps -- all the best!

FranticFrummie

Sun, Aug 04 2013, 8:36 pm

maliza wrote:

Wow, you sound like an amazing mother! Hug

I second everything you said.

rydys

Mon, Aug 05 2013, 7:57 am

I totally agree with the above posters. Bedwetting at 9 is physiologically normal. DDAVP will do nothing other than make your child dry the night he takes it. It does not treat long term.

The most important thing is self esteem. Reassure your child that he/she is normal, and will outgrow it. Keep a supply of pullups on hand and make no issue of it. I would, however, get a prescription for DDAVP for those nights that your child needs to be dry. For example, sleep away camp or a sleep over at a friends house.

In my experience, the bedwetting alarms do not worlk in children under the age of 11 or 12, sometimes later.

rydys

Mon, Aug 05 2013, 4:34 pm

amother wrote:

My brother has been taking ddavp for the last 25 yrs. He is missing the pituatary gland that produces the hormone (Diabetes Insipidus) that's why he wet the bed. He will have to take it for the rest of his life. Not everyone can stop without medical help.

Diabetes Insipidus and hypopituitarism are very specific and uncommon medical conditions. Your brother probably takes a whole lot of other medications, as well.

What I wrote above is true for the general population who are not deficient in DDAVP.

amother

Mon, Aug 05 2013, 5:16 pm

I used to bed wet from when I was a kid until after my first pregnancy. I never knew there was anything to do about it and I guess my mother never cared enough to take me to the doctor either. My parents used to just tell me I was lazy to go to the bathroom at night. I guess it stopped because I stopped sleeping so tightly after I had a baby?
Kudos to you all for taking it seriously and looking for a solution for your kids.

maofboys

Mon, Aug 05 2013, 5:31 pm

My oldest is not yet 9 but when I was teaching my kids to sleep in underpants I always woke up in the middle of the night and walked them to the bathroom (sometimes twice a night). have you tried doing this? wake up around 12 or 2 or 4 and walk them to the bathroom and gently remind her to go (turning on running water can help). I did it for almost a year every night. now my kids wake up and go. I hope it helps good luck

amother

Mon, Aug 05 2013, 6:14 pm

rydys wrote:

amother wrote:

The only medication he takes is DDAVP. WHile an alarmmight be a solution(my brother had one--woke us all up) and waking up kids three times a night, these children never get to sleep at a friends house, or go to sleep away camp for fear of an accident, take him to a dr. and rule out any medical conditions. My brother may have to take this medication for the rest of his life, he gets to live an independent one.

rydys

Mon, Aug 05 2013, 9:15 pm

amother wrote:

rydys wrote:

amother wrote:

If he is really missing his pituitary, it really has a much further reaching effect than bedwetting. Yes, he will need DDAVP for the rest of his life. However, in most children it is just a developmental milestone without such drastic causes. Most people do just outgrow this with a little help in special circumstances and biofeedback is the best way to treat it. Waking the child at night to go to the bathroom may keep them dry, but does not train the body. It just keeps them dry until they outgrow it.

Sparkle

Tue, Aug 06 2013, 1:51 am

My oldest who is 10 JUST stopped wetting the bed this month.
I would not put a child on meds for bedwetting. Here's what we did:
Minimize liquids in the evening.
Before my husband and I went to bed at night, one of us would "sleep walk" my child to the bathroom and help him go. He would barely wake up from this, go right back to sleep, and would not remember it in the morning.
But what helped us be able to stop doing that was - as odd as it sounds - chiropractic adjustments.
Good luck! (and this is totally normal!)

m in Israel

Tue, Aug 06 2013, 7:15 am

amother wrote:

rydys wrote:

amother wrote:

I'm not sure what you mean by this. An alarm is not meant to be a long-term thing. The point of the alarm is to help train a child to stay dry at night. Obviously if a child has a severe medical condition an alarm won't help -- but if there are more minor issues, like the child being a very deep sleeper, the alarm helps them learn to stay dry so they can do all the above mentioned things. As I posted earlier, the alarm worked for us in less then a month (my son was 7 1/2 at the time). The other posters who have had success have also said they used it for a relatively short period of time -- 1 to 2 months.

Also, waking a child up at random times during the night is NOT the same as using an alarm. It helps some kids (we did that with our kids who were learning to stay dry without any complicating factors, when they were younger.), but once a kid is somewhat older and still not staying dry, they usually need more than that. Because an alarm allows you to link the waking up to the urge to go, it helps "train" the body to wake up specifically when that urge occurs, and therefore is often successful in helping kids learn to stay dry on their own.

amother

Tue, Aug 06 2013, 8:01 am

My son wet his bed until has 14. It was a nightmare. We tried everything- alarms, waking him up, biofeedback etc. He couldn't go to camp or overnights. Not sure how it stopped but we stopped his drinking after 6 in the evening. (Unbroken law) and I think he had had enough of not doing anything his friends were doing and b"h it stopped. M very grateful b/c we were going crazy. My thoughts are with you and hope you find a solution quickly.

rydys

Tue, Aug 06 2013, 8:57 am

amother wrote:

Here's a situation where I WOULD use DDAVP. There is no reason that a bedwetter should be held back from any regular activity. Using it occasionally like for overnights or camp is appropriate and has few side effects. However, putting a child on DDAVP for years until they naturally outgrow the bedwetting is not a good idea.