WWYD- Neighbor wants my wifi code

mandr

Tue, Aug 20 2013, 10:27 am

Btw, a password is always changeable so whenever you want to revoke her access, you just change the password in your control panel.

greenfire

Tue, Aug 20 2013, 10:36 am

mandr wrote:

Btw, a password is always changeable so whenever you want to revoke her access, you just change the password in your control panel.

you are brilliant !!!

chocolate chips

Tue, Aug 20 2013, 10:39 am

I didn't read the posts but umm NO!

What is she trying to mooch free internet off you? You will pay and it will slow down your internet because she is too lazy to set it up in her house?
I hate people who say they are so frum they don't have internet at home, yet they mooch off those who do more than those that do actually use it themselves!!

If she wants it for a one time thing give her the password and change it after 1 hour. For full time use, to work, ask her to pay at least half or give her the information how to get it herself!

imamiri

Tue, Aug 20 2013, 12:37 pm

amother wrote:

1- Get the kollel wife to provide written permission from her Rabbi, kids school and husband.

2- Get her to fill out a 10 page contract detailing everything she may and may not use the WIFI for, such as high class [filth], illegal [filth], legal but low class [filth], apikorsus, zionistic etc etc.

Contract should also cover any type of illegal internet usage, with her accepting all responsibility and liability.

That should scare her off.

I'm sorry, but you are aware that many many many Jews are Zionists, right?

OP, I only let people use my wifi if they are hanging out at my house. I wouldn't give my password out. So then she can give it out too to people that stop buy her home? Sure, use our neighbor's wifi! Here's the code.

mummiedearest

Tue, Aug 20 2013, 12:37 pm

amother wrote:

mummiedearest wrote:

amother wrote:

jackiejoel3 wrote:

A simple way out is to say I'm sorry but my Rabbanim don't allow me to give out the code to anyone. As youi say this is a kollel family that should end it pretty quickly and painlessly as YOU aren't saying no your Rabbi did Very Happy

ditto.

I have a friend who's DH in kollel (who'd use computer to type up torah etc.) fell into [filth] due to neighbor's unlocked wifi.
I don't think you will find ANY rav who'd tell you to share it.
Call your rav and ask and I'm sure will tell you NO

he did NOT fall into [filth] due to unlocked wifi. he either was assaulted by pop-up ads due to lack of secure settings and saw them a few times or willingly chose to look at sites. either way, that has to do with him, not the unlocked wifi. unlocked wifi does not force men to become [filth] addicts. that is an incredibly stupid excuse.

You are 100% right.
He fell into it on his own internet. Their rav directed them to put on strong filters and so they did. But he asked his neighbor for wifi code and fell more.
Yes an addict will always find ways to go on. Or even a non-addict who fell once is very likely to revisit-yes from frum to non frum , working to kollel etc.
But do you want that on your sholders? You are putting the michshal there. I am not a rav, but I'd assume most rabbanim will tell you this. V'ahavta leracha kamocha...you can be nice ot her and share other things, but this is more important.

And for all those who think it's only sick men, pigs etc. Any real guy will tell you they are suseptible to it.

by that logic, no one should ever have wine for kiddush, because your guests might be alcoholic. and if you don't have guests, your neighbor might stop by and ask to make a l'chaim with your husband, and who knows his history with alcohol. and you shouldn't leave your car unlocked because you're being michshal the car thief. no. you should have locked wifi for your own protection, just as you would lock your car in order to prevent it being stolen, not because you're being michshal the car thief, but because you need your car secure. if, for whatever the reason, you choose to leave wifi unlocked, it is a stupid thing to do for your OWN security. it's not stupid because maybe the neighbor will look at [filth]. Rolling Eyes

amother

Tue, Aug 20 2013, 12:39 pm

abound wrote:

how can someone who is sharing your wifi see what you are doing

There are wireless routers that record websites visited by saving the websites' IP addresses on an audit.log file. One can also view this information through this path: browser, menu button, bookmarks button and history tab. A wireless router has a wireless access point and a network switch in addition to performing normal router functions.

http://www.ask.com/question/do.....sited

sunflower_seed

Tue, Aug 20 2013, 1:02 pm

it happened to my teacher years ago.
she didnt secure her wifi and someone used her access to do illegal stuff, dont remember exactly what but had to do with copyright.
in the end she was the one held responsible and had to pay thousands of euros for penalty and was told by her lawyer that is a bargain.
I would tell your neighbour "I am really sorry but I discussed it with dh and I am afraid it wont going to work out for us. sorry. but if you want I can send you the contacts of my provider, their prices are really reasonable".
be prepared that she might ask back why its not working out. in this case tell her all the reasons youve read her. if she is gonna be too difficult just tell her its illegal. its better not to do the chessed if youre going to regret it in the future. g'luck!

amother

Tue, Aug 20 2013, 2:15 pm

mummiedearest wrote:

amother wrote:

mummiedearest wrote:

amother wrote:

jackiejoel3 wrote:

I see how logical you are....
some things are different, but hey you wanna take it up with a rav go ahead!
Yes you do not give wild underage boys to drink.....and if you have a guest that struggles with alchohol you be sensitive...and yes EVERY male who is healthy and honest will admit it's a nisayon. so go ahead please. I'll stick to my logic!

sara53

Tue, Aug 20 2013, 3:01 pm

OP.....you do realize that if neighbors teen son/daughter or their friends , cl lady, worker etc.. accesses kiddy [filth], your pc, router will be confiscated faster than you can blink

You could go to jail

wife2

Tue, Aug 20 2013, 3:07 pm

I had the same situation. The neighbor wanted to split the costs. I told them no because it would slow down our internet and we did not need a higher speed. Our neighbors were the type to watch movies/download stuff and slow it down. They wanted to get a higher speed and have us split the costs. They were upset that we said no. But it is good that we did because they moved soon after and it would have been a hassle for us.
You should not share your internet - it is not to your benefit at all unless she pays half the amount every month. Even so, it is often split unevenly if one of you uses it more than the other and slows it down considerably for the other.

imaima

Tue, Aug 20 2013, 4:30 pm

Happy18 wrote:

No. There is a reason internet costs money. If she asked to borrow your phone for hours on end to make work calls would you let her?

Well the only reason why internet costs money is to let someone earn it. Internet as well as telephone, as they are, do not cost a lot of money to produce, but people made this service paid to earn the money. That's why they are called "providers".

shlomitsmum

Tue, Aug 20 2013, 5:01 pm

Don't do it OP!

We shared a house with people in the basement and this guy asked to share internet with us ...we declined because it felt like a chutzpah and a security issue . but the other people in the other suite in the basement agreed to let him use theirs ..well he got them into trouble and manage to rack up a huge bill by going over the allowed limit and eventually , they disconnected the service (they goofed up ours twice by mistake) , it was such a crazy situation .

Why would the service provider be ok with this ? I doubt it ....since it is pretty profitable for the access provider to add surcharges for going over a reasonable usage so it probably would be stealing .....but check with the company yourself.
She should get her own because it is just too much to ask someone .

amother

Tue, Aug 20 2013, 5:01 pm

Haven't seen any posts from the other side - so I guess I'll offer that perspective. I'm a kollel wife who lives in an apartment building with a frum neighbor. Never had Internet at home, as we can manage without it. One time when she was visiting, this neighbor mentioned that cost of Internet doubled and made reference to me splitting the cost with her and we would share the password. I declined because we didn't need it them. A couple of months later, I had to take 3 courses online which took around 3 months. I was hesitant to sign up with a provider because I only needed it for a brief time. Remembering the request of my neighbor , I asked her if I could split payment with her for three months and use her WIFI. I got a curt reply back refusing and that was that. Obviously I felt super embarrassed because I wasn't trying to shnorr off of her - I offered to pay AND the whole idea was hers in the first place. But I got the vibe she thought it was rude I asked. Ended up signing up and canceling three months later.
When refusing please try and be polite. I understand that you don't want to share- totally ok- but be mentchlach in letting her know.

mummiedearest

Tue, Aug 20 2013, 5:10 pm

amother wrote:

mummiedearest wrote:

amother wrote:

mummiedearest wrote:

amother wrote:

jackiejoel3 wrote:

amother, OBVIOUSLY if your guest is known to be an alcoholic, you don't serve alcohol. but if you have random guests over, you should not assume them to be alcoholic and avoid wine at the table. even if they do have the interest in getting drunk occasionally, that does not mean they are alcoholic, and that means you bear no responsibility if they decide to get drunk at your table. and the reason you do not give underage boys alcohol is because they are underage. but if an underage kid is at your table and has a sip of wine for kiddush, you should not assume they will automatically go from a sip to a bottle. some people exhibit a characteristic known as RESPONSIBILITY. I do not have to take my position up with a rav. if the rav had an issue with neighbors having unlocked wifi, he would have told this man that owning a device with wireless capabilities was not allowed. the rav, however, did not do that. he told the man to have a filter installed. the man decided to bypass that decision by taking advantage of his neighbors' lack of security. this was a man actively looking for [filth]. we do not have to assume that all men in our immediate surroundings have this incredible drive to look for [filth] to the degree that they will look for ways to find it while leaving their own filters intact. we do not have to take responsibility for the actions of those who have addictions and won't take responsibility for their own actions. leaving the wifi unlocked is not smart for safety reasons, but to say that we need to protect these poor men who will automatically search for [filth] when presented with an open wireless network is stupid. consider this: a computer-savvy individual can hack a locked network if he feels like it. seriously, it does not take much effort. so if we live next door to a male computer programmer, we should assume it's assur to have wireless internet access because he could actively find our password and use our network for nefarious purposes, right?

bamamama

Tue, Aug 20 2013, 6:11 pm

smilingmom wrote:

Sorry, I don't understand the problem.
I pay for wifi in my house because I want to.
I have enough speed to allow others to use it.
My code is shared with two of my neighbors who are within distance range.
I do not care if they have a filter or not, since we do not share any files only the actual wifi.
I don't lose and they gain.

Please explain to me the problem.

The problem is the neighbor wants to shnorr. There's a fine line between taking tzedaka and shnorring. Asking to use your neighbor's wifi for free so you can work from home crosses that line. Now, if she were a single mother trying to get on her feet and who was struggling to put food on the table, I can see offering it to her as tzedakah.

groisamomma

Tue, Aug 20 2013, 9:15 pm

Everything people do on your WIFI gets traced back to your I.P. address.

Before we had internet I asked my neighbor for her code and she said she uses the code of someone across the street, who then gave it to me. I used it twice total, to track an order I made that hadn't arrived. B"H dh saw the need for internet and we got it.

So I see why people might need it once or twice here and there. But when a new neighbor moved in and asked for my code I gave it to her. I was uneasy about it because it was her sister in the same house that relied on the neighbor's WIFI and I was afraid she would constantly use it so I just changed the passcode. Her dh came knocking that it's down and I told him I have no idea why it's not working.

EmesOrNT

Tue, Aug 20 2013, 9:18 pm

groisamomma wrote:

But why wouldn't you be honest? She asked if she could use it, she did, now she can't.

smilingmom

Tue, Aug 20 2013, 9:28 pm

I understand those posters who get diminished service when others use their wifi, but OP clearly says that is not her issue. Her issues are providing Internet to a kollel family and the fact that she is paying for service while a
neighbor will get free wifi.
First issue... If you feel it is your to be their mashgiach, fine. Would you also not lend her a secular book or magazine, because it may corrupt them?
Second issue....why should they get something for nothing, when You don't. Do you feel the same when neighbors get bigger tuition breaks than you? (Even though your kids go to different schools) Or when someone gives them a perfect condition bugaboo while you are strolling around with a no name stroller?

Life is tough, don't begrudge another's good fortune when it doesn't cost you anything.

shlomitsmum

Tue, Aug 20 2013, 9:31 pm

EmesOrNT wrote:

groisamomma wrote:

But why wouldn't you be honest? She asked if she could use it, she did, now she can't.

I would blame DH here as in he changed it after the other person moved out (with his permission) and say : sorry my husband is not willing to have this arrangement continue forever .... and leave it at that as a shalom bayis imatter not open for negotiations.

Last edited by shlomitsmum on Tue, Aug 20 2013, 9:46 pm; edited 1 time in total

shlomitsmum

Tue, Aug 20 2013, 9:44 pm

I was taught that if people do stuff because they feel pressured and not with a full giving heart there is no mitzvah and in this case there is also the issue of facilitating theft from the Internet service providers (who I am 99% sure do not intend for people who are not considered legally "one household " to be sharing like this) .

People should understand that asking non family for this kind of favor long term is imposing . How is this different than the felony of running illegal wiring for electricity like they do in the 3rd world? a Rav should be consulted by OP .

I people really want or need this they can pay for it and do things legally like her employer providing an allowance for the remote work expense .

Since the lady is a kollel wife there is even more obligation to play by the rules and avoid the potential chillul hashem if this is in fact illegal.