Having never held a Sefer Torah

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Forum -> Hobbies, Crafts, and Collections -> The Imamother Writing Club

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bigsis144

Sun, Sep 29 2013, 1:14 am

Having never held a Sefer Torah, I wonder what it would feel like.

I see my husband carry it
with joy and pride and reverence and care
bending down
oh so carefully
to let my 4-year-old son kiss it.

I always thought if I held a Sefer Torah I'd feel a heartbeat.
It would be heavy and still
but warm and alive against my chest,
like a sleeping child,
trusting me never ever to drop it.

(My poetry skills are nil, but I thought this section would be where this reflection best belongs. Just a thought I had over Simchas Torah. I shared my musings with DH and got a funny look. Oh well.)

June

Sun, Sep 29 2013, 3:42 am

I like it! I know exactly what you mean about the heartbeat.

etky

Sun, Sep 29 2013, 7:06 am

In our neighborhood we hold womens hakafot with a sefer Torah on Simchat Torah.
Each hakafa is led by someone who begins by dedicating it to a person, a group, or an event that is significant to them.
Over the years we've had some incredibly moving dedications and lots of tears and emotion as women dance with the sefer Torah, many (especially the older women) for the first time in their lives.

amother

Sun, Sep 29 2013, 8:22 am

I grew up reform. Not only did I hold a sefer torah at my bat mitzvah, but my parents helped start a new synagogue when I was a teenager, and the sefer torah lived in our house. Every week, we would roll it to the right section for the visiting rabbi to read.

When I grew up, I went to HUC, and served in congregational life for many years. Although I held sifrei torah many times, it always was special, and never more so than when giving it to a Jewish woman who had never had the experience before.

Now, it's been years since I have held one. I don't find that troubling, because I have a much deeper connection to what lies inside than I ever used to. But I hope that everyone who wants the opportunity will have it. What a small thing to give, and a large thing to receive.

amother

Sun, Sep 29 2013, 9:05 am

And so I pick up the Sefer Torah
Holding it with all my might
Wondering why never before
Did this thought come into sight.

I cried, I danced, I even sang
While holding the precious scroll
Hakofos never felt so sweet
A warmth deep inside my soul.

Frenchfry

Sun, Sep 29 2013, 11:08 am

Each time I do a mitzva
And help another jew
I hold my "sefer torah"
And carry it anew.

My children are my torahs
As I tend to them each day,
I carry the mesorah
As I teach the Torah's way

I need not feel it physically
For I hold it in in my heart
And its presence grows within me
When I try to do my part

The one who wrote the Torah
Our Father up above
Defined my role in Torah
And he did it all with love.

amother

Sun, Sep 29 2013, 11:39 am

I once saw an open sefir torah in shul and I was told that If I'm clean I'm allowed to kiss it. so I ran over and kissed the sofer torah with out the mentalah (cover). one is not allowed tokiss without a cover. since then I'm petrified to stand near a sefir torah.

amother

Sun, Sep 29 2013, 11:54 am

I see my husband holding the Torah
Caressing it, loving it, cherishing it.

And I daven, with all my heart
that this love affair continue
till 120 and beyond.

Exquisite triangle.
One I can live with.
One that makes my life, in all ways, as sweet as it is.

greenfire

Sun, Sep 29 2013, 12:09 pm

women alongside men are allowed to enjoy simchas torah ... & even kiss the sefer torah, etc. ~ it's not a man's religion unless you make it so

Ruchel

Sun, Sep 29 2013, 12:12 pm

I've definitely touched and kissed. Carried, I wouldn't want. It's realy not a good thing for a kehila if someone drops it...

enneamom

Sun, Sep 29 2013, 2:18 pm

I kissed the Torah, too. It was special enough for me--the highlight of Simchas Torah.

sequoia

Sun, Sep 29 2013, 2:24 pm

I've kissed it. I wouldn't want the responsibility of holding it, though. Being the clumsy sort and all...

Peanut2

Sun, Sep 29 2013, 2:53 pm

Why would you drop it? Have you never carried a child or baby? Do you drop them regularly?

Don't go and grab the first Torah you see, but some are more heavy than others. In the shuls I've gone to where women carry the Torah they make sure not to take out any very heavy Torahs because men aren't always that strong either. And they don't give a super heavy one to a 5'2" woman, either. They are not so heavy. You carry it and that's it.

Now doing hagbaha when the Torah is all to the right or left (which the men do) - that's tough!

Jughead

Sun, Sep 29 2013, 7:03 pm

you can't compare the weight of a sefer Torah to a baby/child. It's not the same - it is always easier to carry "live" weight.
and carrying a sefer Torah is not the same as dancing with it. I don't feel so comfortable dancing while holding an infant - and they weigh less than the average Torah.
I once held a sefer Torah in my arms/on my lap in the car - I was surprised by how heavy it was. (I was grateful for the experience, though!)

amother

Sun, Sep 29 2013, 7:42 pm

bigsis144 wrote:

I've had the same desire to hold a Torah. Not out of feminism or to be like a man but simply to feel that spiritual bond. My dh also gave me an odd look when I told him. I think since it is a privilege guys just get they can't understand how special it would be for us. Personally Simchas Torah is a very unenjoyable day for me because I can't really understand why it is not allowed in my world for women to dance or hold a Torah. I think male Rabbis are afraid if feminism and can't understand a woman's desire for spirituality.

FYI my very close friend who is extremely frum and spiritual has a deep desire for an Aliyah. Simply for the spiritual connection for her neshama.

Anon bc of my community.

Peanut2

Sun, Sep 29 2013, 7:46 pm

It's easier to dance with a sefer torah than with a child on your arms! At least in my experience. Your results may vary. Kids move around and are floppy. When I've carried a sefer Torah it doesn't weigh that much but is larger so the weight is more distributed, and you hold it in such a way that protects it. Again, it's not hagbaha, you are holding it tight against you. I wouldn't go wild on the dance floor holding a sefer Torah, but moving a little, or walking with it, feels fine. They don't usually feel so heavy, and usually I get nervous at first because the transfer is a little 'scary', and I don't hold one every day, but once I actually am holding it it's pretty safe.

The ST I carried most recently definitely weighed less than my toddler (who is heavy and tall.)

devo1982

Sun, Sep 29 2013, 9:26 pm

I think this blog post expresses the beauty and connection of holding a Sefer Torah really well: http://hadassahsabomilner.com/.....l-up/

Nomie

Sun, Sep 29 2013, 9:33 pm

I am notorious for dropping things, so I wouldn't trust myself-- unless I practiced ahead of time, with like 2 soda bottles in a pillow case. LOL

Otherwise, don't let me hold it!! Disaster waiting to happen.

PinkFridge

Sun, Sep 29 2013, 9:53 pm

amother wrote:

bigsis144 wrote:

Some people who hold the sefer Torah are really impacted by it because they learn it so passionately and have invested so much. Or have invested in other ways. For those who don't it might be a matter of "sharing in your brother's simcha." So I can't discount the feelings of women who want to hold it. Even if I don't personally get it. Because I can see how a woman might have learned enough Torah to have an attachment, have invested her time and energy to facilitate others learning, and/or feel that same level of sharing the simcha.
But please understand, it is possible to go through life and live a life of real connection and spirituality without doing everything men do.

Ruchel

Mon, Sep 30 2013, 12:37 pm

There are written sources about women not holding because it's wrong to drop it.
There are also those who won't give to young boys, for similar reason.

You can definitely touch or kiss it. I do think there's a minhag that if you are nidda (mamash?) you shouldn't touch, so ask your rav what yours is.

I do not think rabbis (all rabbis are male, to my belief) are afraid of women's spirituality- on contrary they may be afraid of acts done devoid of spirituality, out of an agenda.

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