New-ish "modest" blog

Ruchel

Fri, Oct 11 2013, 7:15 am

amother wrote:

I'm sorry, Tznius isn't about wearing pants or skirt, or covering collarbone and elbows. Neither is it about a married woman covering hair.

This is anything but modest.

Tznius is about using your own judgement to look beautiful without attracting too much attention.

You realize in a random street she is probably the tzniusest person around and won't attract attention between the short shorts and the tank tops?

And indeed, well known bloggers get clothes to try on and make advertisement on.

Ruchel

Fri, Oct 11 2013, 7:18 am

Frumfashionmaven is SO nice, normal, down to earth and SOOOO pretty. I Heart

her.

Great clothes come in every style... supermarket clothes to ultra high end. And you can get cheap /second hand high end on ebay, too.

Affordable wise, some people love (prefer!) to dream in front of such items. There are mags devotes to dreaming of luxury items, and some who absolutely cannot afford, buy/apply to them anyway. No, not my cupa tea. But, it exists. My dh worked for such a mag, once.

Beyla

Fri, Oct 11 2013, 7:31 am

Dear alamodesty,

I hope you will change your mind and won't let people, even frum Jewish women, influence what YOU do.

Your blog is very nice and I'm pretty sure it inspired/will inspire women who need fashion ideas, or women who don't yet dress tzniuzdik to dress in a modest way.

People are moved when they see someone who really loves what she's doing and you also have very good taste, no matter if it's not everyone's style.

Hatzlacha, and please don't feel bad for those commentaries, they don't worth it!

fmt4

Fri, Oct 11 2013, 8:14 am

So, so mean. People who are saying that she has to get tougher skin to be on the Internet- but should she have to protect herself from other frum women??? I'm sure that's why it hurts her so much. If it was random people in cyberspace I'm sure she wouldn't care that much, but you expect more from other frum women who are supposed to judge favorably and not speak loshon hora. It's really embarrassing and sad. A la modesty- I thought your fashion was very inspiring and I also loves your writing- really cute and witty. Please don't listen to people who are jealous and insecure.

Blue jay

Fri, Oct 11 2013, 8:14 am

I posted earlier in this thread.

I don't see why the blog should be taken down. The photography was nice as well as the fashion ideas. Everything is adaptable.The challenge is "THE SKIRT". All of our fashion intentions include the skirt and we definately need inspiration.

Perhaps the blogger who is newly exploring the world of fashion journalism should try to understand the comments of all the imamothers here and explore some new avenues to make her blog more approachable for woman of all levels of frumkeit.

She has already achieved some level of success because we all are interested whether it be positive or negative. She definately should approach this project with and open mind and heart.

groovy1224

Fri, Oct 11 2013, 8:28 am

Honestly, I feel bad that she felt the need to close her blog because of things she read here, and I hope my comment wasn't one of the ones that really stung. So if you are reading this, alamodesty, I apologize for any hurt feelings.
If this blog was something you really enjoyed, though, there's no reason to stop doing it just because some people didn't like it. Virtually nothing (especially on the internet) has universal approval, and keep in mind that people tend to be pretty harsh online. Because they can. But also because, and I don't mean to add insult to injury here, starting a blog centered around pictures of yourself kind of invites critique. I mean, isn't that the point? You write that you sought to inspire, and now there's a whole discussion going on that you brought up! Maybe it's not everything you wanted to hear, but hey come on this is a discussion board! And people are discussing!
I think also part of what caused the backlash was the fact that the blog was heavy on the pictures and brand name dropping, but lacking in substance- if the blog is about modesty, maybe a post or some thoughts about what modesty means to you? Obviously people have different standards, so maybe some words on what your thoughts are? And while no one has the right to tell you how to spend your money, c'mon. It's great that you have access to Hermes and Miu Miu, but you can't honestly think that most of your readers would. I'm neither fat nor poor, but I struggled to find anything relate-able in your style posts. I'm not being bitter, just realistic.
You don't have to shop in Forever 21 if you don't want to, but at least acknowledge your substantial budget, because otherwise how are the other 99% supposed to react? Think about your readership- most likely women who want to dress within the constraints of tznius, but are looking for some nice ideas beyond a cardigan and pencil skirt. If I had $10,000 to drop on an ensemble, I probably wouldn't need to be reading a blog for fashion advice to begin with. Nothing wrong with it if you do have that money, but just sayin.
Anyway, hope I didn't make anything worse if you are in fact reading this. Keep in mind that saying that I hear a lot- haters be hating. Please don't let it get you down- you seem nice, and I dont think anyone meant a personal attack. I hope not.

Maya

Fri, Oct 11 2013, 8:53 am

Okay, now I also feel bad for what I said upwards the thread because the blogger may have been hurt by it, but I still stand by that. There was not enough emphasis on the individual pieces and too many pictures of the full-length pose, which made it seem like the body was more of an attraction than the clothes.

I don't think the designer labels should be a deterrent because similar pieces can be gotten for much cheaper, and it's about the look and the getup rather than the actual wardrobe. The point was to take inspiration from the whole look and copy it according to individual style and budget (although I will agree with another poster that it was not very original.)

Perhaps the blogger can take this thread as constructive criticism to make her blog better, if she wants to, instead of just shutting it down because some women didn't think it was that good.

mommish613

Fri, Oct 11 2013, 10:25 am

I think there's more to it. If you feel passionately about something, you don't let a forum of women destroy you in a matter of a few hours. I think she very possibly had doubts about it to begin with, or was getting flack from some other venue and between all of those things she decided it wasn't the right thing. That is probably why she also deleted all of her previous posts.

Maybe I'm wrong, but just a hunch...

amother

Fri, Oct 11 2013, 11:27 am

mommish613 wrote:

No, she deleted her modesty website because she was teased and picked at on a frum website by frum women. It wasn't nice and it was hurtful. A wonderful Rav that I know explained that evil speech is like murder. It kills you from the inside. This thread was most certainly full of evil speech. I am just extremely surprised that a group of frum women so publicly behaved this way.

pause

Fri, Oct 11 2013, 11:33 am

amother wrote:

mommish613 wrote:

Are you the op?

amother

Fri, Oct 11 2013, 11:36 am

pause wrote:

amother wrote:

mommish613 wrote:

Are you the op?

No I'm not and I didn't mean to post under amother. My apologies.

fmt4

Fri, Oct 11 2013, 11:38 am

pause wrote:

amother wrote:

mommish613 wrote:

Are you the op?

What do u mean by the op? The person who posted this thread? That was not the author of the blog, and the op herself actually made disparaging remarks about the blog.

southernima

Fri, Oct 11 2013, 11:39 am

amother wrote:

pause wrote:

amother wrote:

mommish613 wrote:

Are you the op?

No I'm not and I didn't mean to post under amother. My apologies.

haha that didn't work. No, I am not the OP and I didn't mean to post amother. My apologies again. I have just seen many friends affected by the words of people in their community. I usually think that if people really knew how much their words hurt they would be more careful. Look, I am not perfect, nor am I claiming to be, but I thought this thread was outright mean.

Barbara

Fri, Oct 11 2013, 11:46 am

pause wrote:

amother wrote:

mommish613 wrote:

Are you the op?

Well, if you knew what I look like, you'd know that I'm neither the OP nor the blogger. My left leg would barely fit into some of her skirts, and while I would very much enjoy sitting in place wearing some of her shoes, walking would be out of the question.

That said, amother is right.

Many people like fashion. I have a friend who could give Tim Gunn a run for his money. He has his shoes made by hand, and shakes his head in sadness when a man's jacket sleeve buttons are 1/8 inch too close together. He's also a brilliant 19th century scholar and museum curator. I was also, for a long time, a member of a fashion usenet group. These women would discuss their daily outfits, trends, makeup, shoes, etc at great length. Many were also business women and academics. Liking fashion doesn't make you shallow. It means you like fashion.

If people didn't like her style, or don't like fashion blogs, they shouldn't have bothered looking. The attacks were heartless and mean-spirited. I hope the blogger was not hurt too badly.

causemommysaid

Fri, Oct 11 2013, 12:07 pm

plus1pls wrote:

So pathetic .. grown women with nothing better to do then judge ,your jealousy obviously has gotten the best of you.

I think its more that the blog was portrayed as being modest. had she just called it a fashion blog then I doubt she would have gotten the same reaction.

there was nothing modest about it. those outfits left nothing to the imagination.

I am not judging. I thought she looked great but definitely not modest and my tznius standards are not very high...

Barbara

Fri, Oct 11 2013, 12:26 pm

ysmommy wrote:

plus1pls wrote:

So pathetic .. grown women with nothing better to do then judge ,your jealousy obviously has gotten the best of you.

"Left nothing to the imagination"? Really? American Apparel's "Period Power" tee shirts that were in the news this week leave nothing to the imagination. The bloggers clothes were extremely fitted, but not transparent, and certainly did not reveal nipples or vulva. Plenty of imagination would have been required.

Last edited by Barbara on Fri, Oct 11 2013, 1:08 pm; edited 1 time in total