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-> Fashion and Beauty
mille
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 Fri, Oct 11 2013, 1:09 pm
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Wow, seriously. Everyone makes nasty comments here and no one is really acknowledging that they did a mean thing and just say that she should have thicker skin? Why is this okay? The blog was posted here and basically everyone said lots of mean things. We know nothing about this woman, except that she likes fashion and wanted to make a blog about it, yet she got totally beaten down in the comments here. And she saw it (because, you know, she's a frum woman, so it's not surprising that she'd have access to imamother...) and got understandably upset. Not cool, imamother. Not cool.
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southernima
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Fri, Oct 11 2013, 1:18 pm
| ysmommy wrote: | | plus1pls wrote: | | So pathetic .. grown women with nothing better to do then judge ,your jealousy obviously has gotten the best of you. |
I think its more that the blog was portrayed as being modest. had she just called it a fashion blog then I doubt she would have gotten the same reaction.
there was nothing modest about it. those outfits left nothing to the imagination.
I am not judging. I thought she looked great but definitely not modest and my tznius standards are not very high... |
Actually you are judging. You are saying she is not dressing modest - by YOUR standards. She's not you. She is dressing by her standards. To many she is dressed extremely modest. There are many different flavors of frum jews and tznius. I applaud her for her efforts to combine tznius dressing and fashion and I hope she will reopen her blog.
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marina
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Fri, Oct 11 2013, 1:24 pm
| Maya wrote: | Okay, now I also feel bad for what I said upwards the thread because the blogger may have been hurt by it, but I still stand by that. There was not enough emphasis on the individual pieces and too many pictures of the full-length pose, which made it seem like the body was more of an attraction than the clothes.
I don't think the designer labels should be a deterrent because similar pieces can be gotten for much cheaper, and it's about the look and the getup rather than the actual wardrobe. The point was to take inspiration from the whole look and copy it according to individual style and budget (although I will agree with another poster that it was not very original.)
Perhaps the blogger can take this thread as constructive criticism to make her blog better, if she wants to, instead of just shutting it down because some women didn't think it was that good. |
This. Even if she just had a few friends model the clothing in addition to herself. Maybe some different body sizes too. It would radically change the feel of the blog and be more about fashion than it is right now. Or was.
I do feel bad too. But what? I shouldn't have an opinion about anything because maybe someone will see it on imamother? I would definitely not say this in real life.
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Ima_Shelli
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Fri, Oct 11 2013, 1:26 pm
I am so sorry this happened! I checked out the blog initially and thought the outfits were beautiful and the style was gorgeous- I was actually pretty inspired in terms of looks I could use as style inspirations. I have not read this thread much but when I tried to log onto said blog today, I was very sad. To Abby, if you are reading this, you are a gorgeous and very stylish woman and I, for one, am SO SO SORRY you were insulted, and would LOVE to follow your fashions in the future. Please don't give up, and please try to ignore all the negativity. And please remember that it is easy for people to criticize you online in a way that they'd never dream of doing to your face or within earshot.
Please come back!!! I hope you are reading this. I will be a loyal follower! You are beautiful and have a great sense of style and I find that very inspiring and fun.
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marina
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Fri, Oct 11 2013, 1:27 pm
| mille wrote: | | Wow, seriously. Everyone makes nasty comments here and no one is really acknowledging that they did a mean thing and just say that she should have thicker skin? Why is this okay? The blog was posted here and basically everyone said lots of mean things. We know nothing about this woman, except that she likes fashion and wanted to make a blog about it, yet she got totally beaten down in the comments here. And she saw it (because, you know, she's a frum woman, so it's not surprising that she'd have access to imamother...) and got understandably upset. Not cool, imamother. Not cool. |
I acknowledge it. My comments were unkind.
I don't know- if I had a blog, I'd like to see how it come across to outsiders, wouldn't you? I did have a blog and sometimes people called me out on it- you sound bitter, angry, etc. I appreciated those comments b/c it helped me to take a step back and see myself through their eyes.
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mummiedearest
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Fri, Oct 11 2013, 1:34 pm
I do feel bad. I keep forgetting that people online don't know me, so my comment couldn't have been taken in context. the brick wall WAS bugging me, as a person who enjoys looking at good photography and plays around with lighting. the outfits were all ok, though there were a couple of items I did think were nicer than others. a lot of what I saw on the blog was either too high-end looking for me or not high-end looking, in which case I thought it was ridiculous to spend the money on it just for the label. this is because I pride myself in being CHEAP. also, I am surrounded by women who dress like this daily, and it bothers me that this kind of dressing becomes a cultural norm, NOT particularly for modesty reasons, but because young women are feeling the pressure to fit in, just like with expensive sheitels. I still think that you can get a perfectly nice human hair sheitel from non-jewish wig stores for a fraction of the cost. it bugs me that sheitel-wearers are being ripped off, and that their daughters aren't aware of the fact that they don't have to spend an arm and a leg to look good. so when I see a blog that promotes that kind of dress on a regular basis, I do get annoyed. I think the blogger looks very pretty, and I'd love to see her redo the blog to include other backgrounds, different lighting (she had one photo that had nice sunlight and no brick wall, I liked that one), other models of different body types, cheaper wig options, and cheaper clothing possibilities as well. and if she's getting these clothing by bargain shopping, that's worth writing about.
anyway, I do hope she restarts her blogs and posts about it here. I am not into fashion at all, but I do actually like looking at fashion blogs occasionally. I find the photography interesting.
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southernima
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Fri, Oct 11 2013, 1:38 pm
| marina wrote: | | mille wrote: | | Wow, seriously. Everyone makes nasty comments here and no one is really acknowledging that they did a mean thing and just say that she should have thicker skin? Why is this okay? The blog was posted here and basically everyone said lots of mean things. We know nothing about this woman, except that she likes fashion and wanted to make a blog about it, yet she got totally beaten down in the comments here. And she saw it (because, you know, she's a frum woman, so it's not surprising that she'd have access to imamother...) and got understandably upset. Not cool, imamother. Not cool. |
I acknowledge it. My comments were unkind.
I don't know- if I had a blog, I'd like to see how it come across to outsiders, wouldn't you? I did have a blog and sometimes people called me out on it- you sound bitter, angry, etc. I appreciated those comments b/c it helped me to take a step back and see myself through their eyes. |
Perhaps if there was an entire thread, that was started without your knowledge, dedicated to discussing how bitter and angry you sound it might be ok with you. However, this girl was working on something she enjoyed, clearly it was an outlet for her. Then to find it being torn apart with nasty judgmental comments on Imamother? I think there were many comments that were made that most normal people would not "appreciate" or find constructive. It's one thing to give feedback, but this thread was outright mean.
On the other hand, I am glad that you could acknowledge that your words were unkind.
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mille
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Fri, Oct 11 2013, 2:04 pm
| marina wrote: | | mille wrote: | | Wow, seriously. Everyone makes nasty comments here and no one is really acknowledging that they did a mean thing and just say that she should have thicker skin? Why is this okay? The blog was posted here and basically everyone said lots of mean things. We know nothing about this woman, except that she likes fashion and wanted to make a blog about it, yet she got totally beaten down in the comments here. And she saw it (because, you know, she's a frum woman, so it's not surprising that she'd have access to imamother...) and got understandably upset. Not cool, imamother. Not cool. |
I acknowledge it. My comments were unkind.
I don't know- if I had a blog, I'd like to see how it come across to outsiders, wouldn't you? I did have a blog and sometimes people called me out on it- you sound bitter, angry, etc. I appreciated those comments b/c it helped me to take a step back and see myself through their eyes. |
Yes, but I don't think most comments were constructive criticism. A lot of them were basically "well she's not modest at all, she's basically dressing like an expensive harlot". IMO criticizing and saying she's absolutely dress IMMODEST is not just criticizing her blog, but her religious observance. I see it akin to linking a kosher cooking blog and trashing the author as not keeping kosher and posting about treif because they used an OU-D product and you hold by chalav yisrael.
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Lady Godiva
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Fri, Oct 11 2013, 2:42 pm
| mummiedearest wrote: | I do feel bad. I keep forgetting that people online don't know me, so my comment couldn't have been taken in context. the brick wall WAS bugging me, as a person who enjoys looking at good photography and plays around with lighting. the outfits were all ok, though there were a couple of items I did think were nicer than others. a lot of what I saw on the blog was either too high-end looking for me or not high-end looking, in which case I thought it was ridiculous to spend the money on it just for the label. this is because I pride myself in being CHEAP. also, I am surrounded by women who dress like this daily, and it bothers me that this kind of dressing becomes a cultural norm, NOT particularly for modesty reasons, but because young women are feeling the pressure to fit in, just like with expensive sheitels. I still think that you can get a perfectly nice human hair sheitel from non-jewish wig stores for a fraction of the cost. it bugs me that sheitel-wearers are being ripped off, and that their daughters aren't aware of the fact that they don't have to spend an arm and a leg to look good. so when I see a blog that promotes that kind of dress on a regular basis, I do get annoyed. I think the blogger looks very pretty, and I'd love to see her redo the blog to include other backgrounds, different lighting (she had one photo that had nice sunlight and no brick wall, I liked that one), other models of different body types, cheaper wig options, and cheaper clothing possibilities as well. and if she's getting these clothing by bargain shopping, that's worth writing about.
anyway, I do hope she restarts her blogs and posts about it here. I am not into fashion at all, but I do actually like looking at fashion blogs occasionally. I find the photography interesting. |
If I remember correctly, her wigs were Mazali--an inexpensive line of wigs. And regarding cheaper options, she might have worn the same blouse in a few different posts. That shows $mart fashion. And fashion blogs are not meant for people to copy exactly, but to inspire ideas...
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mummiedearest
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Fri, Oct 11 2013, 2:50 pm
| Lady Godiva wrote: | | mummiedearest wrote: | I do feel bad. I keep forgetting that people online don't know me, so my comment couldn't have been taken in context. the brick wall WAS bugging me, as a person who enjoys looking at good photography and plays around with lighting. the outfits were all ok, though there were a couple of items I did think were nicer than others. a lot of what I saw on the blog was either too high-end looking for me or not high-end looking, in which case I thought it was ridiculous to spend the money on it just for the label. this is because I pride myself in being CHEAP. also, I am surrounded by women who dress like this daily, and it bothers me that this kind of dressing becomes a cultural norm, NOT particularly for modesty reasons, but because young women are feeling the pressure to fit in, just like with expensive sheitels. I still think that you can get a perfectly nice human hair sheitel from non-jewish wig stores for a fraction of the cost. it bugs me that sheitel-wearers are being ripped off, and that their daughters aren't aware of the fact that they don't have to spend an arm and a leg to look good. so when I see a blog that promotes that kind of dress on a regular basis, I do get annoyed. I think the blogger looks very pretty, and I'd love to see her redo the blog to include other backgrounds, different lighting (she had one photo that had nice sunlight and no brick wall, I liked that one), other models of different body types, cheaper wig options, and cheaper clothing possibilities as well. and if she's getting these clothing by bargain shopping, that's worth writing about.
anyway, I do hope she restarts her blogs and posts about it here. I am not into fashion at all, but I do actually like looking at fashion blogs occasionally. I find the photography interesting. |
If I remember correctly, her wigs were Mazali--an inexpensive line of wigs. And regarding cheaper options, she might have worn the same blouse in a few different posts. That shows $mart fashion. And fashion blogs are not meant for people to copy exactly, but to inspire ideas... |
no, mazali is "cheaper than other frum companies." NOT inexpensive. I have seen beautiful human hair wigs for $75, new, from non-jewish stores. and wearing the same blouse in a few posts may show that one reuses an item of clothing, but it doesn't show a cheaper options. again, she looked nice, and this is obviously her style. and people CAN get inspiration from that style, but the blog would be more effective if she helped it along by explaining or showing cheaper options.
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causemommysaid
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Fri, Oct 11 2013, 2:55 pm
| southernima wrote: | | ysmommy wrote: | | plus1pls wrote: | | So pathetic .. grown women with nothing better to do then judge ,your jealousy obviously has gotten the best of you. |
I think its more that the blog was portrayed as being modest. had she just called it a fashion blog then I doubt she would have gotten the same reaction.
there was nothing modest about it. those outfits left nothing to the imagination.
I am not judging. I thought she looked great but definitely not modest and my tznius standards are not very high... |
Actually you are judging. You are saying she is not dressing modest - by YOUR standards. She's not you. She is dressing by her standards. To many she is dressed extremely modest. There are many different flavors of frum jews and tznius. I applaud her for her efforts to combine tznius dressing and fashion and I hope she will reopen her blog. |
nope she was not dressed modestly. Nothing to do with my standards. I dont always dress the way I am supposed to dress either- my skirts are too short, too tight, my necklines show etc.
I am willing to admit it though. I dont say I am being tzanuah when I'm not.
Na I am not judging. I already said I thought she looked great. I just wouldn't call it modesty. I would call it hot fashion. Stating the obvious is not judging.
I would love if she reopened her blog. Her clothing are awesome.
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Lady Godiva
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Fri, Oct 11 2013, 3:02 pm
| mummiedearest wrote: | | Lady Godiva wrote: | | mummiedearest wrote: | I do feel bad. I keep forgetting that people online don't know me, so my comment couldn't have been taken in context. the brick wall WAS bugging me, as a person who enjoys looking at good photography and plays around with lighting. the outfits were all ok, though there were a couple of items I did think were nicer than others. a lot of what I saw on the blog was either too high-end looking for me or not high-end looking, in which case I thought it was ridiculous to spend the money on it just for the label. this is because I pride myself in being CHEAP. also, I am surrounded by women who dress like this daily, and it bothers me that this kind of dressing becomes a cultural norm, NOT particularly for modesty reasons, but because young women are feeling the pressure to fit in, just like with expensive sheitels. I still think that you can get a perfectly nice human hair sheitel from non-jewish wig stores for a fraction of the cost. it bugs me that sheitel-wearers are being ripped off, and that their daughters aren't aware of the fact that they don't have to spend an arm and a leg to look good. so when I see a blog that promotes that kind of dress on a regular basis, I do get annoyed. I think the blogger looks very pretty, and I'd love to see her redo the blog to include other backgrounds, different lighting (she had one photo that had nice sunlight and no brick wall, I liked that one), other models of different body types, cheaper wig options, and cheaper clothing possibilities as well. and if she's getting these clothing by bargain shopping, that's worth writing about.
anyway, I do hope she restarts her blogs and posts about it here. I am not into fashion at all, but I do actually like looking at fashion blogs occasionally. I find the photography interesting. |
If I remember correctly, her wigs were Mazali--an inexpensive line of wigs. And regarding cheaper options, she might have worn the same blouse in a few different posts. That shows $mart fashion. And fashion blogs are not meant for people to copy exactly, but to inspire ideas... |
no, mazali is "cheaper than other frum companies." NOT inexpensive. I have seen beautiful human hair wigs for $75, new, from non-jewish stores. and wearing the same blouse in a few posts may show that one reuses an item of clothing, but it doesn't show a cheaper options. again, she looked nice, and this is obviously her style. and people CAN get inspiration from that style, but the blog would be more effective if she helped it along by explaining or showing cheaper options. |
Then it would be a frugal fashion blog, not a fashion blog that she intended it to be (I think). I've seen a few blogs that do that. I wonder who her target reader was.
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Barbara
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Fri, Oct 11 2013, 3:29 pm
| Lady Godiva wrote: | | mummiedearest wrote: | | Lady Godiva wrote: | | mummiedearest wrote: | I do feel bad. I keep forgetting that people online don't know me, so my comment couldn't have been taken in context. the brick wall WAS bugging me, as a person who enjoys looking at good photography and plays around with lighting. the outfits were all ok, though there were a couple of items I did think were nicer than others. a lot of what I saw on the blog was either too high-end looking for me or not high-end looking, in which case I thought it was ridiculous to spend the money on it just for the label. this is because I pride myself in being CHEAP. also, I am surrounded by women who dress like this daily, and it bothers me that this kind of dressing becomes a cultural norm, NOT particularly for modesty reasons, but because young women are feeling the pressure to fit in, just like with expensive sheitels. I still think that you can get a perfectly nice human hair sheitel from non-jewish wig stores for a fraction of the cost. it bugs me that sheitel-wearers are being ripped off, and that their daughters aren't aware of the fact that they don't have to spend an arm and a leg to look good. so when I see a blog that promotes that kind of dress on a regular basis, I do get annoyed. I think the blogger looks very pretty, and I'd love to see her redo the blog to include other backgrounds, different lighting (she had one photo that had nice sunlight and no brick wall, I liked that one), other models of different body types, cheaper wig options, and cheaper clothing possibilities as well. and if she's getting these clothing by bargain shopping, that's worth writing about.
anyway, I do hope she restarts her blogs and posts about it here. I am not into fashion at all, but I do actually like looking at fashion blogs occasionally. I find the photography interesting. |
If I remember correctly, her wigs were Mazali--an inexpensive line of wigs. And regarding cheaper options, she might have worn the same blouse in a few different posts. That shows $mart fashion. And fashion blogs are not meant for people to copy exactly, but to inspire ideas... |
no, mazali is "cheaper than other frum companies." NOT inexpensive. I have seen beautiful human hair wigs for $75, new, from non-jewish stores. and wearing the same blouse in a few posts may show that one reuses an item of clothing, but it doesn't show a cheaper options. again, she looked nice, and this is obviously her style. and people CAN get inspiration from that style, but the blog would be more effective if she helped it along by explaining or showing cheaper options. |
Then it would be a frugal fashion blog, not a fashion blog that she intended it to be (I think). I've seen a few blogs that do that. I wonder who her target reader was. |
Right.
Its sort of like saying that you really like Imamother. But you know what? It doesn't really have a broad enough range of people. What we really need are the perspective of some Christians, Muslims and Hindus. Then it would be great.
Maybe. But that's not what Yael wanted, and not what it is.
She wasn't interested in cheaper options. She probably doesn't "own" cheaper options; she's not a fashion magazine.
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momof2sofar
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Fri, Oct 11 2013, 3:37 pm
I do not think my comments were unkind. If Abby took it that way, I apologize but I am still surprised that a mother of 2 would dress in 3" heels every day.
Now to be honest I do visit fashion blogs regularly. They ALL receive some negative feedback. You are putting yourself out there of course you will receive some negative feedback. The important thing is to take what you want throw away the rest and keep doing what you enjoy.
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Barbara
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Fri, Oct 11 2013, 4:36 pm
| momof2sofar wrote: | I do not think my comments were unkind. If Abby took it that way, I apologize but I am still surprised that a mother of 2 would dress in 3" heels every day.
Now to be honest I do visit fashion blogs regularly. They ALL receive some negative feedback. You are putting yourself out there of course you will receive some negative feedback. The important thing is to take what you want throw away the rest and keep doing what you enjoy. |
There's nothing wrong with criticizing her style. When I see women in the park with 4 inch heels and straight skirts, I wonder how -- and why -- they do it.
But people were criticizing HER. Telling her to sell her clothes and buy things that posters thinks she should buy -- although we have no reason to believe that she couldn't afford those clothes. Telling her that she was immodest, that the sole purpose of the blog was "LOOK AT ME I'M SO HOT." That's what is offensive to me.
Its the difference between saying "I don't like Malka's blouse," and "Malka's a tasteless ho if she wears that."
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mummiedearest
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Fri, Oct 11 2013, 4:42 pm
| Barbara wrote: | | Lady Godiva wrote: | | mummiedearest wrote: | | Lady Godiva wrote: | | mummiedearest wrote: | I do feel bad. I keep forgetting that people online don't know me, so my comment couldn't have been taken in context. the brick wall WAS bugging me, as a person who enjoys looking at good photography and plays around with lighting. the outfits were all ok, though there were a couple of items I did think were nicer than others. a lot of what I saw on the blog was either too high-end looking for me or not high-end looking, in which case I thought it was ridiculous to spend the money on it just for the label. this is because I pride myself in being CHEAP. also, I am surrounded by women who dress like this daily, and it bothers me that this kind of dressing becomes a cultural norm, NOT particularly for modesty reasons, but because young women are feeling the pressure to fit in, just like with expensive sheitels. I still think that you can get a perfectly nice human hair sheitel from non-jewish wig stores for a fraction of the cost. it bugs me that sheitel-wearers are being ripped off, and that their daughters aren't aware of the fact that they don't have to spend an arm and a leg to look good. so when I see a blog that promotes that kind of dress on a regular basis, I do get annoyed. I think the blogger looks very pretty, and I'd love to see her redo the blog to include other backgrounds, different lighting (she had one photo that had nice sunlight and no brick wall, I liked that one), other models of different body types, cheaper wig options, and cheaper clothing possibilities as well. and if she's getting these clothing by bargain shopping, that's worth writing about.
anyway, I do hope she restarts her blogs and posts about it here. I am not into fashion at all, but I do actually like looking at fashion blogs occasionally. I find the photography interesting. |
If I remember correctly, her wigs were Mazali--an inexpensive line of wigs. And regarding cheaper options, she might have worn the same blouse in a few different posts. That shows $mart fashion. And fashion blogs are not meant for people to copy exactly, but to inspire ideas... |
no, mazali is "cheaper than other frum companies." NOT inexpensive. I have seen beautiful human hair wigs for $75, new, from non-jewish stores. and wearing the same blouse in a few posts may show that one reuses an item of clothing, but it doesn't show a cheaper options. again, she looked nice, and this is obviously her style. and people CAN get inspiration from that style, but the blog would be more effective if she helped it along by explaining or showing cheaper options. |
Then it would be a frugal fashion blog, not a fashion blog that she intended it to be (I think). I've seen a few blogs that do that. I wonder who her target reader was. |
Right.
Its sort of like saying that you really like Imamother. But you know what? It doesn't really have a broad enough range of people. What we really need are the perspective of some Christians, Muslims and Hindus. Then it would be great.
Maybe. But that's not what Yael wanted, and not what it is.
She wasn't interested in cheaper options. She probably doesn't "own" cheaper options; she's not a fashion magazine. |
my point about mazali wigs was directed at lady godiva, not the blog. I don't like it when wigs in that price range are called "inexpensive." they're not inexpensive.
I understand that the blogger may not have cheaper options. I mentioned that one thing I disliked about the blog was that some of the clothing didn't look like it should have been expensive at all, but with the label, it probably was. if you're going to have a fashion blog, I really don't see a short denim skirt with a button-down white blouse as anything worth blogging about. ok, there are the shoes. but if you're showing the whole outfit, make it something interesting. if you're not going to make it visually interesting, you can show it as a casual outfit and show the average consumer how they can throw together this same look. some of these outfits just seemed pointless as a blog post. she mentioned in her last post that she wanted to dabble in journalism on her blog. I didn't see any of that. what I saw was basically a daily outfit diary. so I'm making suggestions. there's a big difference between making suggestions for a small blog and making suggestions for a fairly large online community with defined purpose.
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Ruchel
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Sat, Oct 12 2013, 4:18 pm
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If this is hot fashion, I assume most non Jewish fashionistas are considered z*na on Imamother.
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causemommysaid
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Sat, Oct 12 2013, 8:39 pm
| Ruchel wrote: | | If this is hot fashion, I assume most non Jewish fashionistas are considered z*na on Imamother. |
whats the connection?
covering skin means you cant dress hot by non jewish standards?
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Nomie
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Sat, Oct 12 2013, 8:40 pm
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Am I the only one who didn't think this thread was *that* harsh to merit quitting the blog?
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Nomie
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Sat, Oct 12 2013, 8:48 pm
Having opinions is what Jewish women do best. If no one had any opinion about anything, there would be no Imamother!
Abby, let your haters be your motivators, and bring back YOUR blog! You gonna let a couple of not-nice comments push you off your square? You think nobody ever said anything negative about Anna Wintour? Pick up your Leboutins, and show us what you got.
Yeah, I wasn't a huge fan, but who am I?? This is your creative venture, and if you believe in the power of clothing as much as I think you do, then you'll keep it going.
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