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Forum
-> Parenting our children
rw555
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 Sun, Oct 20 2013, 10:20 am
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What language do you speak when you don't want your kids to understand ?
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Ruchel
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Sun, Oct 20 2013, 10:26 am
English, Yiddish. Before, I could also just spell the letters, for a word or two.
But I will NOT be the type who doesn't transmit a language so that I can still have my privacy...
My grandparents used Polish. My great grandparents Greek.
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invisiblecircus
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Sun, Oct 20 2013, 10:39 am
It's so funny that this topic is being discussed. Most parents haven't got a language that they can speak between themselves to prevent their kids understanding!
My parents spoke French for that purpose but my brother and I soon picked it up 
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morah
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Sun, Oct 20 2013, 10:42 am
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We can't hide behind language. Dh grew up in a Hebrew speaking home, I grew up in a French speaking home, and we are transmitting both languages to our kids- in addition to English of course! Nowhere for us to hide- I guess this makes dh's case for taking up Klingon :-)
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m in Israel
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Sun, Oct 20 2013, 10:44 am
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Nothing, anymore! Before our Aliyah, Hebrew worked for this purpose -- but now my kids speak a better Hebrew than me. Spelling things in English works for the younger ones, but it is rather cumbersome and doesn't help in front of my older ones who know how to read/spell in English. We save our private conversations for when my kids aren't around, or if it is urgent/ time sensitive I will simply say "Abba and I would like to discuss something in private, please go into the other room." Works just fine.
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amother
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Sun, Oct 20 2013, 10:44 am
My parents did that with with Yiddish and now I live in a Yiddish speaking community.
My mom wanted to talk to me in Yiddish when she was dying. I had to ask friends for words. I wish I could have spoken with her in Yiddish at the end.
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greenfire
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Sun, Oct 20 2013, 10:47 am
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sorry to disappoint ... kids are not stupid & will pick up on any 'secret' language you think you have
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amother
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Sun, Oct 20 2013, 10:55 am
My husband insists on speaking Hebrew when he wants to tell me private stuff, despite the fact that our oldest child understands Hebrew very well and has repeatedly told us that and proven it too, by telling dh what he was telling me. Dh refuses to accept this for some reason.  He also uses Hebrew in front of ds's Israeli friend.
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alef12
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Sun, Oct 20 2013, 11:05 am
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Hebrew works but not for real secrets. We use it if we're discussing buying ice cream or something like that. The big kids of course understand which is fine (they get such a kick out of it) while the ones who would throw a tantrum don't. We'll also speak very slow and simple Hebrew to the big ones if I want to tell them about something that is only for them (like something that will happen after the little ones' bedtime) I'm hoping we can improve their Hebrew skills somewhat this way but don't tell them that ;-) . For real secrets DH and I speak in private, preferably while on a long walk in the woods where we are sure no "little ears" are listening lol.
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amother
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Sun, Oct 20 2013, 11:26 am
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Why wouldn't you just talk in another room or outside the house or when they are not there? It is not polite to talk in another language when you know other people can't understand it. People do this to me, specifically two friends to each other ( I am the one who can't understand), just sitting there, and I find it very rude.
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Beyla
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Sun, Oct 20 2013, 11:33 am
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Amother you're right it's impolite from your friends but I think it's correct for parents!
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amother
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Sun, Oct 20 2013, 11:46 am
| rosarosa wrote: | | Amother you're right it's impolite from your friends but I think it's correct for parents! |
Why, I don't think parents are different. If anything I think it is more important that they never make their children feel uncomfortable. At least if it's their friends, they take comfort in knowing that their parents would never do that kind of thing.
I just don't understand why something couldn't wait until the children are out of the room/house, or until you're in your bedroom or something. it's not nice to start talking in another language to dh when your children are right there
this is my opinion only feel free to ignore it!!
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yo'ma
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Sun, Oct 20 2013, 12:15 pm
I don't have any language with my dh that my kids don't understand, but my dh and children have one that I don't understand. 
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Cookie Monster
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Sun, Oct 20 2013, 12:16 pm
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My parent spoke Hungarian but we kids picked it up long before they imagined we did.
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invisiblecircus
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Sun, Oct 20 2013, 12:52 pm
| amother wrote: | | rosarosa wrote: | | Amother you're right it's impolite from your friends but I think it's correct for parents! |
Why, I don't think parents are different. If anything I think it is more important that they never make their children feel uncomfortable. At least if it's their friends, they take comfort in knowing that their parents would never do that kind of thing.
I just don't understand why something couldn't wait until the children are out of the room/house, or until you're in your bedroom or something. it's not nice to start talking in another language to dh when your children are right there
this is my opinion only feel free to ignore it!! |
I understood this thread to be more about things like parents discussing whether there is time to go to the park before lunch or whether to have cake or an ice-cream rather than serious private conversations
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Rubber Ducky
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Sun, Oct 20 2013, 1:00 pm
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Spanish. But we didn't use it often enough for the kids to pick it up; I wish they had.
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Beyla
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Sun, Oct 20 2013, 1:03 pm
| invisiblecircus wrote: | | amother wrote: | | rosarosa wrote: | | Amother you're right it's impolite from your friends but I think it's correct for parents! |
Why, I don't think parents are different. If anything I think it is more important that they never make their children feel uncomfortable. At least if it's their friends, they take comfort in knowing that their parents would never do that kind of thing.
I just don't understand why something couldn't wait until the children are out of the room/house, or until you're in your bedroom or something. it's not nice to start talking in another language to dh when your children are right there
this is my opinion only feel free to ignore it!! |
I understood this thread to be more about things like parents discussing whether there is time to go to the park before lunch or whether to have cake or an ice-cream rather than serious private conversations |
This.
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freidasima
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Sun, Oct 20 2013, 1:10 pm
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pig latin until the kids picked it up...
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