at what age do you allow your child to cross by themselves?

yo'ma

Tue, Nov 05 2013, 5:30 am

cross a one way.
cross a two way.
how far?
where do you live?
what kind of neighborhood?

I'm not asking for an opinion, just what you do. My just turned 11 year old is asking me if he can go to school by himself next year and I'm going to let him, even though it makes no sense because I have to bring the other ones the same time, but he wants to feel independent. I do let him go out by himself now and cross some streets. If we lived somewhere else, I probably would let him, even though I do see little kids by themselves all the time and I get so nervous for them. Pedestrians don't seem to have the right of way over here and cars turning won't necessarily stop for someone crossing Exploding anger

. Other reasons too, but I won't get into them.

Isramom8

Tue, Nov 05 2013, 5:42 am

9, because that's the law here.

If your son is as tall as an average 9 year old so that he can be seen by drivers, and has good street crossing skills, I don't see why he shouldn't cross streets on his own that an adult can cross safely.

But it sounds like your streets are very dangerous. No cross walks? No traffic lights?

Last edited by Isramom8 on Tue, Nov 05 2013, 6:11 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Tue, Nov 05 2013, 5:44 am

I live on a cul-d-sak and my kids can cross by 6. My DD is 12 and may not cross the street at my corner. I am scared to cross it myself.

In Monsey pedestrians have a crossing light, but cars are allowed to turn on red.

yo'ma

Tue, Nov 05 2013, 6:04 am

Isramom8 wrote:

But it sounds like your streets are very dangerous. No cross walks? No traffic lights?

The drivers are meshuganas LOL

! The first time my dh drove here, he asked me to come with him for support. Some corners don't have traffic lights and even if there was a stop sign, most people don't pay attention to it. It's a busy city with a lot of cars Sad

ectomorph

Tue, Nov 05 2013, 7:03 am

Depends on the street.
In my family it is 9 for 1 way streets with a light and only certain streets.
It expands until 12 when you can go on 2 way streets with lights and 1 way streets without.
Then it expands to whatever streets are needed in order to get to school. :-)

Chayalle

Tue, Nov 05 2013, 7:10 am

Depends on the street, the child, the driver....lots of factors. Where I live, there are cars parked along both sides of the street, and some really nutty drivers.....my kids are very petite, so about when they were taller than the cars, and had demonstrated sufficient responsibility, was my comfort level. That happened at around age 12.

yo'ma

Tue, Nov 05 2013, 7:49 am

Chayalle wrote:

By me, parking is only on one side, so people drive right near the curb and forget about motorcyclists.

shabbatiscoming

Tue, Nov 05 2013, 7:57 am

Im with isramom. It will be when she is 9 because that is the law here. I live on a yishuv, so she already knows the difference between week day and shabbat (where there are no cars but only army jeeps from time to time on the road). My daughter is 5 1/2 and I already told her, as she keeps on asking, that when she is 9 she can cross alone as that is what we are allowed to do here. And she has learned the last two years in gan how to look and I know that she does.

amother

Tue, Nov 05 2013, 12:59 pm

My son is nine but very short - the size of an average six year old - and I can see that he doesn't know how to look before crossing (I.e., he turns his head from side to side but his eyes aren't focusing on the street) so I don't allow him to cross. It is very difficult for him as all his friends have been crossing streets since first grade already - we live down the block from school and everyone else in his class lives a good 10-15 minute walk away.

I can't see allowing him to cross alone until age eleven at least. (It is very socially limiting for him, though, because he can't go his friends' houses after school. I don't allow him to scoot with them and he doesn't want to be driven. And of course his classmates make fun of him for being the only kid not allowed to cross the street.)

greenfire

Tue, Nov 05 2013, 1:24 pm

before 8 years of age - a child is unaware of distance perception ... then again some people never outgrow it ...

you have to take personality & responsibility into account and make decisions for each individual child based on that

one kid I promised I wouldn't let cross the street till she was 18

another I let at 7 because school was down the road and across only 1 street by herself - I could see her across our street & the crossing guard could see her on the school block

another kid needed a leash

I think sonny boy was smart enough when he was 3 [not that I let him cross or drive cars - but the smarty pants would have done so & I imagine a good job too]

33055

Tue, Nov 05 2013, 3:26 pm

yo'ma wrote:

Squishy wrote:

It entirely depends on the child.

No kidding! That's why I asked what a5ge you allow.

I don't have a set age.

It is not so much the age but the ability. My children had very different ages when I allowed them to cross. My sin was allowed to cross at 7 and my daughter at 12.